You Only Had to Ask
by OxOx-Megz-OxOx
Summary: Arthur has always wanted to get to know Merlin better, so when his step-sister Morgana introduces him to a website that lets you ask questions anonymously, surely that's the perfect way? Merthur high-school AU! Rated: T (just in case!)
1. Chapter One

**Title: You Only Had to Ask**

**Pairing: Merlin x Arthur (Merthur)**

**Summary: Arthur has always wanted to get to know Merlin better, so when his step-sister Morgana introduces him to a website that lets you ask questions anonymously, surely that's the perfect way? Merthur high-school AU!**

**Rated: T (just in case!)**

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**So, the idea came for this fic when I saw a conversation between two people on Ask .fm. I don't know if you know what that is, so I'll explain. . . It's basically a website where you can ask someone a question, pretty much anything you want, but it's anonymous. So I saw this conversation, and I got the idea for this fic.**

**And just so you know, the fact that Arthur signs his questions with 'A', is no relation to Pretty Little Liars. I do love that show, though, and the books!**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

Merlin Emrys walked across the field of Camelot High School carefully, carrying a ton of books that the librarian had given him to read. Sat at a bench, giggling and pointing as the boys played football, he saw his two best friends, Gwen Smith and Morgana Pendragon. He quickened his pace, as he walked towards them, making sure the books stayed in their perfectly arranged pile.

The librarian often gave him books to read over the weekend, and he almost always returned them read from cover to cover. Merlin had always liked reading, and even wrote his own stories sometimes, though he preferred drawing. All of his teachers favoured him, and he always tried his hardest in their lessons, but spoke very rarely. Though that was due to a certain group of boys in his year, that were always referred to as "The Knights of the Round Table". They were of course, Arthur Prat-dragon and his "friends".

Merlin despised all but one of them, the exception being Gwaine. Gwaine and Merlin had been friends for years, and though Merlin could never understand how he could stand Arthur, their friendship never went away. But all the other "knights" did was taunt Merlin and push him around all the time. Especially if he did better than them in classes. That's why he mostly tried to keep his good scores a secret.

Of course, everyone knew that Arthur and his friends pushed Merlin around all the time, but nothing was ever done about it. Nothing really _could _be done about it, as Arthur's dad, Uther Pendragon was the headmaster. And no matter how much Morgana tried to convince Merlin that Arthur was a "good guy", he would never believe her. Arthur had taunted and teased Merlin ever since they first met, and Merlin could barely even stand to be in the same room as him anymore.

Shaking his head, Merlin looked over to the field, where he could see aforementioned prat playing football with his friends. Arthur laughed as he ran after the ball, passing it to Gwaine with expert ease. Merlin often wished he could be as careful and graceful as Arthur, as he was known particularly for his clumsiness. It was one of his _many _faults that Arthur and his friends never failed to point out to him. And as if on cue, Merlin shifted the books into one of his hands, shouting over to Morgana and Gwen. They didn't hear him, however, so he tried again. They still didn't hear him. He raised his hand to wave, but doing so made the books shift slightly, catching Merlin off balance. It didn't help that he was also walking through a particularly slippery patch of mud at the time.

Just as he thought he had gained control, a perfectly-aimed football (three guesses who kicked it), his him squarely on the back of his head, sending Merlin, and his books sprawled in the mud.

He could hear the laughter surrounding him, but ignored it, as he picked up his books, trying to wipe the mud off them to the best of his ability. He heard Morgana and Gwen gasp, and lifted his head to see them running over to help him. They gathered his books, and Gwen raised a gentle hand to wipe some mud from his forehead.

"Oh, I'm sorry, _Mer_lin," Arthur the prat laughed, walking over, flicking hair from his eyes. He kicked up the football with a swift flick of his ankle, and sent it flying back to his friends. Instead of returning to his game, however, he stayed to watch Merlin's pathetic attempts at gathering his mud-covered books. "But it's hardly my fault. Your magnificent ears were blocking my shot."

"Shut up, Arthur!" Morgana spat, and continued to help Merlin. She hated it when her step-brother was so cruel. She was one of the only people that knew what he was really like, and it annoyed her to no end when he tried to act big in front of his friends. And when he said things like that to Merlin, she wanted so badly to just reach out and slap him, though he always told her how sorry he was afterwards, when it was just the two of them.

"Now, now, Morgana, I'm sure the idiot can speak for himself, can't you _Mer_lin?" Arthur replied, turning to look at Merlin now, who was trying his hardest not to say anything. He looked intently at the ground, taking his books from Gwen and Morgana, and calmly standing, still looking at the ground. "Well, Merlin?"

Merlin just nodded, and Morgana shot Arthur a look so cold, that if looks could kill . . .

"Oh good, I was beginning to think you were deaf as well as dumb!" and with that, Arthur turned on his heel, and began to stroll confidently back to his football game. But he was halfway there, before he turned back, and pointed to his cheek, adding; "You've got something, just . . . just there, you might want to get that!"

Arthur ran back to his game, laughing all the way, whilst Morgana and Gwen just sighed. They looked at Merlin sympathetically, as his face was covered with mud, and so were his new books that he would now probably have to pay for. They couldn't help but feel sorry for their friend when Arthur was so cruel to him. He didn't deserve it at all. Merlin was one of the kindest, and sweetest people in the school, who would never intentionally hurt anyone. Arthur only picked on him so that he'd look good in front of his friends.

"Come on, Merlin," Gwen muttered, stroking his arm soothingly, and leading her friend away from the hysterical laughter of Arthur Pendragon. "Let's get you cleaned up."

* * *

Later that night, Arthur logged into a site that he had found recently, called AskMe. It was a site where you could ask people questions anonymously, and they would never even have to know that it was you. You could even have anonymous chats with them, if the other person agreed to it. Arthur had joined the site for one purpose, and one purpose only; _Merlin. _He knew that Merlin was a member, as Morgana had told him. She'd thought it would be a good idea for him to actually get to know Merlin, and maybe then he wouldn't be so cruel.

She didn't know how he truly felt about Merlin, though. Of course she didn't, because nobody did. The truth was that Arthur was fascinated by Merlin. His enthusiasm, his honesty, his humour. He didn't know what it was, but he often found himself watching the dark-haired boy in some of their lessons. He'd always wanted to get to know Merlin better, or find some way to talk to him, in private. Because every time he tried to talk to him in school, he only ended up insulting him. He had a constant worry of what his friends would think of him if they knew how he truly felt about Merlin, so he just settled for taunting him. Although he knew it was wrong, it was an excuse to talk to Merlin, and that was all he wanted.

But now, he had the opportunity he'd been waiting for. He could finally get to know Merlin, and he would never even have to know it was him. He could ask him everything he'd ever wanted to know, but there was only one problem; where should he start?

_Merlin Emrys, 16._

_England_

_Um . . . hi! I never really know what to say on these things, but, ask me a question, I guess! If you want to, I mean, you don't have to, but . . . I'm really bad at this. So, yeah . . . ask me a question, and I promise to be as honest as possible. If you want to stay anonymous, that's perfectly fine by me, I'm just looking for some good conversation and some distraction from homework, I guess._

Arthur's fingers shook, as he quickly typed his question into the keyboard, and pressed enter before he could regret it. He then closed his laptop, and pushed it far away. All he had to do now, was wait for a reply. In the end, he'd chosen one of the suggested questions to ask. He knew it was stupid, but he hadn't known how to start.

His heart stopped when he heard his computer _'ping' _only a minute later. He opened the lid of the laptop, and opened the page back up.

**_What is the one thing you have tried to change, but couldn't? - A_**

**I think an easier question would be what _haven't _I tried to change! Everything. My clumsiness, my ears, I've tried to change pretty much everything about myself, really. Mostly due to these boys at my school that constantly pick on me. I tried to change for them, and make them like me, I tried to fit in, but in the end I realized that they weren't worth it. What about you? - Merlin**

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**Well? What did you think? It's only the first chapter, so . . . yeah. Let me know what you thought! But this is only a snippet of what's to come!**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter Two

**Hey guys!**

**So I got a few reviews of the last chapter, and a couple of you are now following the story. Please keep it up, and if you are interested in this story, please do follow and review it, because it means a lot, and it also lets me know that people are reading this!**

**This chapter will just be almost entirely exchanges between Arthur and Merlin on AskMe, and will only include a small bit of actual story, but there will be more to come next chapter, I promise! I just wanted to focus on the questions for now.**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

**~Friday, 7:00pm~**

_What is the one thing you have tried to change, but couldn't? - A_

I think an easier question would be what haven't I tried to change! Everything. My clumsiness, my ears, I've tried to change pretty much everything about myself, really. Mostly due to these boys at my school that constantly pick on me. I tried to change for them, and make them like me, I tried to fit in, but in the end I realized that they weren't worth it. What about you? - Merlin

_To be a better person. I keep trying, but it never seems to work. I just keep thinking that if I start to really be myself, my friends will leave me. Is that stupid? - A_

Not at all, I think that makes perfect sense. A lot of people have problems like that, but if they really are your friends, then they'll accept you for who you are. Anyone else was never really your friend in the first place, and you're better off without, in my opinion. - Merlin

_Thanks, Merlin. So, what are three things you couldn't live without? - A_

You're welcome. I guess I probably couldn't live without my two best friends, Morgana and Gwen (does that count as one?). They help me through everything, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without them. And I guess the other two things would probably be . . . well, I think food would be an obvious one, and music. I'm actually a big fan of music. - Merlin

_Sounds like you've got some great friends. These guys though, that you talked about before, the ones that make fun of you, what do you think of them? - A_

To be honest, I just ignore them now. There's been a few moments where I believed them, the things they said about me, but my friends really helped me through it. And I keep trying to believe Morgana when she says that they're good people, well, she says Arthur is anyway, that's her step brother. I try to believe her, because I think that everybody must have at least a _little _bit of good in them, but it would be a long time before I forgive them for what they've done to me. - Merlin

_That's actually very noble of you, still trying to find the good in them after what they've done to you. You said that you like music, though, what's your favourite song? - A_

That's a really hard question, actually. I wouldn't really say that I have _one _favourite, as it changes all the time. But I think my favourite song at the moment is probably Asleep, by the Smiths. It's a pretty old song, but I'm strangely addicted to it. - Merlin

_I'll have to give it a listen sometime. This is going to sound like a lame question, but I have no idea what to ask you, so I'm picking the suggested ones, but . . . If you could have one question answered, what would it be? - A_

Why does Arthur Prat-dragon insist on bullying me? - Merlin

_That's one I can answer for you. It's because he's confused. He doesn't understand you, and thinks the only way he can talk to you is by insulting you. I'm sure he just doesn't understand how much it's hurting you. - A_

Well why can't he just talk to me normally? - Merlin

_Because he's afraid. - A_

Afraid of what? - Merlin

_Everything. Of his friends finding out, or getting the wrong idea. Of you not liking him for who he is . . . he's afraid of getting hurt. - A_

You seem to know a lot about him, who are you? - Merlin

_Now that, my friend, would be telling. - A ;)_

It's not fair, you know. You know who I am, and you're asking me all these questions, yet I don't know a thing about you. - Merlin

_Yeah, but you know you enjoy it really, the mystery of it. It's exciting, isn't it? - A_

I guess so, but what does the 'A' stand for? - Merlin

_Amazing, awesome, astonishing, alluring, angelic, attractive, Adonis, I could go on. - A_

You left out arrogant. - Merlin ;)

_Funny. - A_

I try, I try. - Merlin

**~ Friday, 10:00pm ~**

_So, who do you live with? - A_

My uncle, Gaius. I used to live in a village called Ealdor with my mother, but she sent me to Gaius, so that I could get a better education. It's nice, though. He runs the pharmacy not far from school, I live just around the corner from it. What about you? - Merlin

_I live with my father and my step-sister. I don't really see my father much, as he just stays in his office. My mother died giving birth to me, so I've never met her. I'm quite close with my step-sister, though. She's the only person I can really be myself with. - A_

I'm sorry, about your mother. You really didn't have to tell me about that. - Merlin

_It's okay, I wanted to. I feel like I can trust you, Merlin, like I can be myself with you. - A_

It would help if you told me your name. Then you could really be yourself. - Merlin

_Nice try, Merlin. - A_

Well, it was worth a shot. At least tell me, have I met you before? - Merlin

_Yes. - A_

Have I spoken to you before? - Merlin

_Yes. - A_

Are you in any of my classes? - Merlin

_All of them, I watch you all the time. - A_

So how come I've never noticed you? - Merlin

_Oh, you have. You just wouldn't realize that it was me. - A_

How can you be sure? - Merlin

_Just trust me on that one. - A_

**~ Saturday, 1:00am ~**

Are you doing anything tomorrow/today? - Merlin

_Sorry, Merlin, but that's against the rules. - A_

You're really infuriating sometimes, has anyone ever told you that before? - Merlin

_Yes, you have actually, plenty of times. - A_

You're not making this any better. - Merlin

_I know, but it's fun, making you guess. - A_

I need to go now, see you around? - Merlin

_Maybe. - A_

Prat. - Merlin

_Idiot. - A_

**~ Saturday, 8:00pm ~**

_Miss me? - A_

You wish. - Merlin

_How was your day? - A_

Pretty boring, actually. I had to go round a lot of different bookshops looking for some books, because Prat-dragon made me drop mine in the mud. They were books from the library that the librarian gave me, and now they're ruined. So I was looking for them, but it turns out they were either sold out, or not in stock. What about you? - Merlin

_It was alright. I took my step-sister shopping for some new clothes. - A_

Oh, are you quite rich, then? - Merlin

_I'm not, but my father is. He has tons of money, because he doesn't really use most of it. - A_

Doesn't sound too bad. - Merlin

_It's not, really, but I'd rather have a father that I can actually have a conversation with every once in a while than one who just gives me money to solve my problems. - A_

Ah, I see how that could be a bad thing. - Merlin

_It is, but I suppose that it's the thing that brought me closer to my step-sister, so it's not all bad. - A_

You and your step-sister seem to have a really close relationship, will I get to meet her one day? - Merlin

_After you meet me, sure. Why, are you interested? - A_

No, I'm really not. I was just saying that she sounded nice. - Merlin

_Suuure. - A_

I'm not interested in your step-sister. If you watched me as intensely as you claimed, you would have noticed that I'm gay! - Merlin

_Oh. - A_

It doesn't bother you, does it? - Merlin

_Not in the slightest, actually. - A_

I've never actually asked you this before, but are you a boy or a girl? I've been talking to you for almost two days now, and I don't actually know. I'm pretty sure you're a boy, but better safe than sorry, I guess? - Merlin

_Boy. - A_

Oh. - Merlin

_That doesn't bother you, does it? - A_

Not in the slightest. - Merlin

* * *

Arthur and Merlin talked all weekend, from the late hours of the night, to the early hours of the morning. And whenever they had to say goodbye, it was with some regret. They always felt like they could talk for many hours more, and never get bored of each other, as they both felt that they had finally found someone that they could trust. And although Merlin often wondered who 'A' was, he had to admit to himself that the mysterious stranger had been right. He enjoyed not knowing who it was. It was mysterious, and exciting, and possibly even a little bit dangerous.

The many possibilities astounded him, and there wasn't a moment that went by when he wasn't trying to guess who 'A' might be. He would pass strangers in the street, or see people outside his window, and wonder. He knew it was ridiculous, the only place he was likely to find 'A' was in one of his classes, but even that was quite a large selection of boys. Though, there were people that 'A' obviously _couldn't _be. When thinking of his classes, and the boys they contained, no one seemed to fit the 'A' mould.

Merlin could honestly say that he couldn't think of anyone as kind, funny, caring and at the same time, ever so slightly irritating, as the mysterious internet stranger. And for once, he found that he actually couldn't _wait _to go back to school on Monday, because he wanted to try and figure out who 'A' was. They hadn't been talking that long, but already Merlin felt a strange connection between them, and he wanted to meet his new . . . friend in person.

At the same time though, he didn't want it to end. He almost wanted 'A' to stay anonymous, because it was a little too much fun. He'd never had so much mystery and drama in his life before, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it just a little. The possibilities that 'A' presented excited him to no end, and he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face every time he got another question.

The only thing that he didn't like, was that 'A' was finding out so much about him, yet Merlin knew very little about 'A'. He didn't think it was fair in the slightest, but there was a part of him that just didn't care. It was nice to know that there really was someone out there who paid him some attention, and actually wanted to know these things about him. That there was someone who watched him, and wondered, even when he didn't know about it. Some people might have found it a little bit creepy, but Merlin thought it was sweet.

He just hoped that 'A' would eventually pluck up the courage to speak to him in person.

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**Well? What did you think? Review to let me know!**


	3. Chapter Three

**Hey guys!**

**Thanks for your reviews of the last chapter! There was more this time, so it's getting better! I'm just glad to see that some people are reading this, that's all I really want to know, and what you guys think of it. There was a few questions, and though I answered a few of them through PM's, I thought I'd answer them again in this Author's Note, just in case anybody else had similar questions.**

**Merlinfan5 - "Why is Merlin gay?"**

**I know he's not actually gay in the show, but this is just a fanfic. I "ship" Merlin and Arthur together, like, I'd want the two characters to be a couple. It's more that I'm writing Merlin as gay, because that's what this fanfic is, it's about . . . . I don't really know how to explain it. This fic is about Merlin and Arthur being paired together romantically, so obviously, they'd have to be gay.**

**nannily - "Wouldn't Merlin know the story of Arthur's mother, as he's friends with Morgana?"**

**I could see how you'd think that, as it's not very common, and if Merlin knew that, he'd see that 'A' had a lot more in common with Arthur than just that. But I'm going to say that Merlin didn't know about Arthur's mother, as it was a little too personal to Arthur, Morgana didn't want to tell him.**

**E-girl6 - "Do you have any idea how long it's going to be?"**

**I'm going to say about fifteen chapters, but already, I have a feeling it might go a bit over that. I'll say that fifteen is the minimum.**

**That will be all for now, but if any of you have any more questions, please do ask, because I love to answer them!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

Merlin walked into the library with his head hung low in shame, clutching the dirty, but now dry, books to his chest. He'd tried his hardest over the weekend, when he'd found out he couldn't buy them anywhere, to clean away the mud, but it hadn't worked. The books were beyond repair, and he was dreading having to tell the librarian about it. She was kind enough, but Merlin wasn't sure how understanding she'd be about this. It was all Arthur Prat-dragon's fault, of course, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Although Merlin secretly hated him, he didn't like people to think of him as someone spiteful. The only person he ever told of his hatred for Arthur were Morgana, Gwen, and 'A', because he knew that they wouldn't judge him.

Looking down at his feet, he was almost up to the desk, when he lost his nerve, shoving the books back in his school bag. He told himself that he'd bring them up later, when he'd rebuilt his courage. He took in a deep breath, and walked up to the desk, leaning on the front of it, and leaning over the desk to look at Alice, the librarian, while she typed on the computer furiously.

Alice was quite an old woman, with quite a worn, but plump face, and thin lips that were almost always turned up into a comforting half-smile. The corners of her grey-blue eyes were crinkled with laughter-lines, and she always smelled very faintly of lavender, no matter what distance you were from her. She had faint, light hair, that Merlin could never tell whether it was blonde or brown, which she tied back into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. He liked Alice. There was something very motherly about her fraying shawl that she always wore, and the way she fussed over him sometimes. She could never compare to his _actual _mother, of course, but it was still nice all the same.

Merlin had met Alice on his first day at Camelot High. He'd arrived halfway through the term, and coming from Ealdor, didn't know anyone. His first day, he spent any moment not in class, in the school library. Alice noticed him, and started talking to him, and it turned out that she knew Gaius growing up, and they were actually still very close friends. Merlin knew it was probably more than that, but it freaked him out more than a little to think of Gaius like that. Still Alice had been kind to him, suggesting books that she thought he might like, and listening to him when he had a problem. She was one of the first people that Merlin told when he knew he was gay.

Glancing up from her keyboard, Alice noticed Merlin stood by her desk, and stopped typing immediately. She closed whatever she'd been doing, and took her glasses off her nose. She wheeled her chair over to sit at the desk properly, and looked up at Merlin, clasping her hands in front of her.

"What can I do for you today, Merlin?" she asked him, a smile gracing her lips. Merlin shrugged. It was quiet in the library, as there were only a few other students in there, but Merlin didn't mind. The library was one of the very few places that felt like home to him, he felt like he could say whatever he wanted, or do whatever he wanted, and be himself. He felt safe, surrounded by one of the things he loved more than anything; books. "How was your weekend?"

"It was alright," Merlin replied, smiling back at Alice. There was something about her, that, when she smiled at you, you couldn't help but smile back, no matter what mood you were in. He smiled again, as he thought of 'A'. "It didn't start off that great, but it got better."

"Not this Arthur-bloody-Pendragon again, was it?" Alice replied, though her insult did not hold the same anger it usually did, Merlin had to laugh and shush her. She couldn't say things like that, especially not in the very school that was _run _by aforementioned prat's father. Not that Merlin really cared. It was nice to see someone _else _hating Arthur for a change. It made him feel a little less alone, to know that Alice saw it too. "Don't shush me, it's my opinion!"

Merlin just laughed. Alice really did not approve of the way that Arthur picked on him. She would often see him coming into the library, and could just _tell _from the look on his face whether he'd seen Arthur that day or not. Merlin didn't know if she'd ever even _met _Arthur before or not, or whether she just based her opinion of him on what Merlin told her. There were a few times when Merlin had had to shush Alice's protests, on fear of her getting fired by Uther.

To keep her mind off Arthur, and also partially to stop her from getting out of hand, Merlin pulled the books out of his bag, and let them fall to the table with a dull _thud._

"He kicked a football at me when I was carrying them, and I was walking through mud at the time. Don't worry though, I'll find the money somehow - " Merlin began, but Alice held up a hand to silence him, beaming widely.

"Oh nonsense, Merlin," she whispered, for once actually obeying the rule of "silence in the library". "You and I both know that you and Gaius don't have anywhere near enough money to pay for these books, no matter how well the pharmacy might be going."

Merlin knew it was true. Back in Ealdor, him and his mother hadn't had enough money as it was. She had to scrape together most of her earnings to send him to school, and Merlin would be eternally grateful for that, but their house was always cold, and their stomachs never quite full. He'd only been in his first year of high school in Ealdor, when he'd realized that the cost of sending him to school was _really _taking its toll on his mother. She was _very _behind on most of her bills, and was borrowing money from wherever she could, whilst working three jobs at the same time. Merlin had realized that they couldn't carry on living like that, and insisted that his mother sent him to live with Gaius, while she tried to get back on her feet.

Still, even though Gaius was _far _better off than Hunith, it didn't mean to say he was exactly rich. His house was of a suitable size, and there was always a substantial amount of food on Merlin's plate, but the price of all the books together was still quite expensive. It would take Merlin a long time to pay Alice back, but he couldn't just let her leave it, it wasn't the kind of person that he was. He'd have to find the money somehow . . .

"Besides, a very sweet young man stopped by earlier and paid for all of them," Alice muttered, so quietly that Merlin almost missed it. His mouth fell open, and Alice just laughed, the sound which was remarkably like the tinkling of bells. He was just about to start asking a long string of questions, but she held up her hand again to stop him, "And before you start, he paid me extra not to tell you who he was, said that it was very important I didn't."

* * *

Later that night, Merlin logged back in to AskMe. He needed to talk to 'A', _now. _He knew it couldn't possibly have been anybody else that paid for the books, as no one else knew about it. Well, only Morgana, Gwen and Arthur, but Alice had said it was a "sweet young man". And the day that Arthur Prat-dragon did something nice for Merlin, was the day that Merlin learned how to _fly. _So obviously, 'A' was the only logical explanation.

All the same, Merlin still couldn't quite believe it. It didn't seem to work in his mind that 'A' really did exist in the outside world, _and _went to school with him. He just couldn't make sense of it. And the fact that he was now doing things in _private, _just so that Merlin wouldn't find out his identity, annoyed him to no end. He knew that 'A' would have reasons, even if he wasn't very willing to discuss them, but it was still annoying, knowing that someone so funny, so charming, so _perfect, _existed out there, and Merlin kept _just _missing him. It was infuriating, to know that he was _just _out of his reach, like a toy being dangled on a string.

**~ Monday, 21:00 ~**

_Well, how was your day? Figure out who I am yet? - A_

It was good, thanks. But no, I haven't. To be honest, I completely forgot to look out for you. It's not that I wasn't thinking of you, though. I was too side-tracked trying to think of a way to pay you back for the books. I'm presuming that was you? - Merlin

_You would be right. But you don't have to pay me back Merlin, I promise. I told you, my father has more money than he needs, he, nor I, are bothered what it is spent on. - A_

If you say so, but I am still in your debt, whether you like it or not. I will make it up to you someday, though I'm not sure how, yet. - Merlin

_Getting to talk to you finally is good enough for me. So I ask again, how was your day? - A_

It was surprisingly good, actually, really, it was. Arthur and his friends left me alone today, which is very rare for them, but I appreciate the freedom, because I have no idea how long it's going to be before they start again. - Merlin

_You always hurt the ones you love. - A_

What's that supposed to mean? - Merlin

_Forget it, Merlin. So, I know that you like books, would you recommend any? - A_

Oh . . . . so many! It really depends on what kind of books you're into, though I like them all. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, that's a good one, um . . . Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens, if you think you can handle a classic. Or if you want something a little simpler, there's always Animal Farm by George Orwell. I'm sorry they're all quite old, but they're some of my favourites. And I think some of the other books I've read might be a little to advanced for you. - Merlin ;)

_Lucky for you, I'm going to try not to take offence from that, Emrys! - A_

You know you love me. - Merlin ;)

_You wish. - A_

* * *

**Well? I know it was short, but . . . I hope it was good enough! Don't worry, there is plenty more to come! There was only really one main event in this chapter, so I tried to make it as long as I could. Review please!**


	4. Chapter Four

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've just got back at school, and I'm writing another story at the same time, and I know these aren't very good excuses, but . . . yeah. On the day I've actually started this, it's already been a while since the last update, and I have no idea what day this will be uploaded! But I promise I'll try and keep it more regular next time!**

**I still don't know exactly how many chapters this is going to be, but it's still around fifteen if I'm taking a guess. And Merlin will only find out towards the end, so . . . it's gonna be a while, guys!**

**Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, so enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

Three days later, Merlin walked into his Science class, a wide grin on his face. All week, he'd been talking to 'A', and every night they would stay up until about one o'clock in the morning, not wanting the conversation to end. Of course, Merlin was aware that other people could see the conversation, but he didn't care. Besides, he knew that the site had a "private chat" setting, where himself and 'A' could talk freely. He'd been thinking about suggesting that all week, but wondered if it would be "appropriate". Then again, the things that they had shared, were far too personal for them not to at least be friends by now.

Merlin had talked about his father, something he didn't tell many people about, and how he'd left Merlin's mother when Merlin was very young. He'd talked about how neither he, nor his mother knew why he'd left, and still wondered about it to this day. Merlin's greatest fear was that it had been because of him. He wondered if, if he'd never been born, would his father have stayed with his mother? He knew it was stupid, and that it wasn't really his fault, as no one could help being _born, _but it scared him all the same. Because his mother had been so in love with her husband, it was obvious from the pictures that hung from the walls of his home in Ealdor.

While Merlin had talked about his father, 'A' had also spoken about his. He'd told Merlin of how his father often disapproved of him, and how 'A' often wondered if he even wanted him at all. Merlin told him to never think that, though he knew it must be hard. 'A' said that his father always treated his sister much better than him, as if she were precious. Merlin said it was probably because fathers were often more protective of their daughters, and tended to push their sons a lot more, it couldn't be helped, it was a natural instinct. Still, 'A' insisted that it was more than that. Whatever he did, it was never _quite _good enough for his father, and Merlin had felt quite sorry for his internet friend.

Whilst they often talked about personal and emotional subjects, they also shared small facts about themselves as well. After almost a week of long conversation, Merlin now knew that 'A''s favourite colour was red, he was particularly good at English, his favourite TV show was Doctor Who (the same as Merlin), and he had actually already read all the books that Merlin had suggested. When he'd said that, Merlin immediately felt embarrassed for assuming that 'A' was some illiterate idiot. He'd apologized immediately, and whilst being slightly arrogant about it at first, 'A' said that it didn't matter. After all, Merlin didn't even know who he was, so it was natural that he'd make at least some assumptions.

Walking into the class, Merlin's smile slipped. This was his first Science class of the year, and the rules pretty much went that wherever you sat on the first day, that was your seat for the rest of the year. He cursed out loud, for not remembering and arriving earlier. And it only took Merlin a couple of seconds to notice that, because he was a few minutes later than everyone else, there was only one seat left. And that one seat happened to be right at the back, with the one and only, Arthur Pendragon.

Merlin's shoulders slumped, as he walked towards his new seat. Prat-dragon had already noticed that Merlin was to be his new partner, and seemed to be enjoying the idea a lot more than he was. Merlin couldn't tell whether the smile on Arthur's face was sarcastic, or if he was actually looking forward to torturing Merlin for the rest of the year. His bets were on the second. Letting his bag fall slowly off his shoulder, and placing it under the table, Merlin slid into the seat cautiously.

He tried not to look at the blonde, as he pulled his books out of his bag. He was going to move as close to the table edge as possible, but thought that might be a little too extreme. Plus, something in him had been given hope from the fact that Arthur hadn't insulted him yet, even if it had only been a few seconds, that was good for him. But, his hopes were dashed, when Arthur turned to him, and a smile that Merlin knew all too well began to form on his smug face. It was his "I'm-going-to-make-the-next-hour-of-your-life-a-living-Hell" smile. Arthur tilted his head to the side, and Merlin could tell the insults were already forming in his mind, and before he could stop himself, Merlin turned towards Prat-dragon, and spat;

"Don't think too hard, you might give yourself an aneurysm."

Arthur's smile fell momentarily, and he looked genuinely shocked. But it was only for a moment, and his usual arrogant smirk was back.

"My father could get you expelled with a click of his finger, you know," Arthur shot back, but Merlin didn't even flinch. There was something about that that just annoyed him even more. Because, had he said that to anyone else, they would have done one of three things; shut up immediately ran away, or begged for his forgiveness. Merlin was doing any of these things, it just didn't make any sense.

"Getting your father to fight your battles for you, how honourable of you." Merlin replied, and Arthur had to agree with him. It had been a mediocre comeback, at best, and he knew really that his father would never listen to him anyway. He didn't care for Arthurs "petty problems", as he called them, and Arthur knew it.

"When are you going to learn? You can't talk to me like that." Arthur gave a dark laugh, and Merlin glared at him.

"When you learn to stop being a prat,"

Arthur's laugh faltered, and he reached for Merlin's books, about to throw them on the floor, but Merlin got there at the same time. They fought for the books, pulling them between them. Arthur may have been stronger, but Merlin wasn't letting go. It must have been quite a hilarious display, had anyone actually seen it, though the two bickering boys didn't notice Morgana giggling at the back of the classroom. Suddenly, Arthur had an idea, and let go of the books, causing them to fall on Merlin's lap, and for some of them to spring back and hit the raven-haired boy in the face. Arthur roared with laughter, as Merlin tried to pick up his books.

Merlin leaned backwards in his chair to pick up some of the books that had fallen behind him, and Arthur had another idea. He kicked the front of Merlin's chair, lightly, but with enough strength to send the chair, and the clumsy boy sat on it, flying backwards. As Merlin fell, his head his the empty table behind with a bang, and he fell to the floor, the books he had actually managed to gather falling all over him.

When Merlin didn't get up, Arthur cursed to himself, and leaned back in his chair to check on the other boy. Merlin's eyes were closed, and his lips were slightly parted in a groan.

"Shit," Arthur cursed, and leaned further back to look at Merlin. And in a blur, Merlin's eyes shot open, and he looped his hand around the back of Arthur's chair, pulling him backwards to join him. Arthur's arms flailed comically, but he only ended up falling anyway. Luckily, his head missed the table, but he still ended up lying on his back, Merlin beside him, and before they could stop themselves, they both burst out laughing.

Merlin's shoulders shook with laughter, and tears formed in his eyes. He picked up one of the books lying on his stomach, and threw it at the blonde gently. It hit Arthur's arm, but not hard, and he laughed, throwing it back.

Picking themselves up off the floor, and gathering Merlin's books, they sat back in their chairs, and continued to laugh at their own stupidity. The rest of the class had obviously missed the moment they'd shared, as they were all talking and writing in their exercise books. Arthur sighed, and hit Merlin on the arm playfully. Merlin knew it was weird, and that it wasn't something that normally happened with the two of them, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Idiot," Arthur muttered.

"Prat," Merlin replied, almost automatically.

* * *

That night, Arthur dumped his bags on the floor of his bedroom, and flopped onto the bed. His laptop sat there already, just waiting for him. He'd gotten back from school about two hours ago, but had only just managed to escape his father and Morgana. His father always insisted that they eat dinner together, sat around the dining room table. Although his father was very particular about it, most of the meals were spent in silence, the only other alternative being Arthur getting the third degree about, well, anything, really. His father never approved of him. This dinner had consisted of the latter.

He just wanted to talk to Merlin. Somehow, that always made him feel better, as Merlin was the only person that never judged him. He let Arthur be himself, and didn't question him or his actions like his father did. He didn't expect anything of him, and never pushed him. Of course, the only downside being that Merlin didn't know who he was, but that didn't matter to Arthur so much. He'd gotten to know Merlin more in the past few weeks than he had for the first few years that he'd known him. But whilst he didn't want Merlin to know who he was, the thought of telling him eventually, scared him more than it should have.

He feared that Merlin would be mad, and would never speak to him again, or that he would just be disgusted. In a way, it almost felt as if he was sneaking into enemy lines, unearthing his secrets and innermost thoughts. It felt like he was lying to Merlin about who he was, even though he had never actually lied to him when he was 'A'. He was living a lie, and he knew it, though he'd have to tell Merlin eventually, whether he liked it or not, he couldn't hide in the shadows forever. But he was still scared.

Because, telling Merlin that he was 'A', would mean he had to explain why he'd never told him in the first place, _and _why he'd carried on teasing him despite their growing friendship that only Arthur knew about. And Arthur was afraid to admit those things, even to himself. Because he really didn't know why he was so drawn to Merlin, so fascinated. Really, to the human eye, he wasn't really anything special, but . . . he was. There was just something about him, something that couldn't be seen, or heard, or imagined. He was just . . . different, and Arthur liked that.

Opening up the laptop, Arthur signed in quickly, his hands actually shaking in anticipation. Thinking of talking to Merlin, it was the only thing that got him through the day, and it was all he thought of. He noticed that AskMe was already open from the night before, and almost laughed at how stupid he was being, over a _guy. _It was absurd. But still, he didn't seem to be able to stop himself.

**~ Thursday, 18:05 ~**

_You there? - A_

Where else would I be? - Merlin

_You have a point there. I bet you just sit, don't you, waiting for me, for hours and hours and hours . . . - A_

You wish.

So, I was thinking, would it be too forward of me, if I asked to move this conversation to 'Private'? It's just, some of this is getting a little personal, and I don't mind discussing it with you, it's just other people seeing it that bothers me. - Merlin

_Of course, I don't mind in the slightest. - A_

**_- _****The conversation settings have been changed to 'Private'.**

That's better. - Merlin

_Much. So how was your day? - A_

It was good, surprisingly. What about yours? - Merlin

_It was alright, I guess. - A_

Okay, what's wrong? - Merlin

_Are you sure you want to know? I don't want to bore you with my problems. - A_

Are you kidding me? That's what friends are for. - Merlin

_We're friends? - A_

Well . . . . I guess I just assumed. You don't have to be, not if you don't want to. - Merlin

_And why on Earth wouldn't I want to? Friends it is. - A_

Friends it is. So, back to where we left off, what's wrong? - Merlin

_You really want to know? I just don't want to waste your time . . . - A_

Any amount of time spent talking to you could never be a waste. - Merlin ;)

_Thank you._

_It's just . . . my father. He never approves of anything I do, and nothing's ever quite good enough for him. He wants me to be rich, and successful like him, possibly even famous, but that's not what _I _want. I want to do something that's going to actually make a difference, you know? But he doesn't approve, I know he doesn't. I only ever told him about that once, and after that, I never mentioned it again, because it wasn't what _he _wanted. I even dropped my old friends for him, because he wanted me to be popular, and a leader, like him. He wanted me to make friends for power, and status, not for real friendship. He wants me to share the same beliefs as him, but to be honest, I think his ways are corrupt, and wrong._

_If he even knew the real me, if anybody did, for that matter, I doubt they would like what they saw. Because I'm really not the person that they think I am, I swear. All my life, all I've wanted is to make him proud of me, but I'm never good enough. - A_

I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to understand how hard that must be for you. But have you tried talking to your father about how you feel? Maybe he'd understand, if you explained it to him like you just did to me? What did you mean though, about them not knowing the real you? - Merlin

_I just . . . I don't know. It always feel like I have to become a completely different person, in order to fit in with my "friends". In order to be accepted. It doesn't feel real. Not to mention the fact that I'm quite insecure about myself as it is. - A_

Why? - Merlin

_Merlin, I . . . I think I might be gay. - A_

Oh. So you're not 100% sure, or . . . ? Has there been any guys before? - Merlin

_Not guys, just . . . guy. I think I might like him, but . . . I can't be sure. I don't know what it is, but I'm just kind of . . . drawn to him, you know? I don't know what it is about him, but I just can't pull myself away. I don't know whether the reason I'm not sure is just because I'm scared, or what, but my father would never approve. - A_

I think you need someone to talk to, to be honest, and I'll be that person for you, if you want. But I also think you need to stand up to your father. You can't keep worrying about what he thinks, it's not healthy. You need to do what's best for you, and if he doesn't support that, then he's not worth your time, frankly. A father should love his son no matter what, and if he can't accept your decisions, then he's really not worth it. And everyone else, you don't need to worry about what they think, either, because if they're really your friends, then they'll stick by you. If not, then they were never really worth having in the first place. - Merlin

_Thanks, Merlin. But I've tried to talk to him before, he just doesn't understand, and I always end up agreeing with him anyway, even if I don't, really. And I promise you, I will tell my friends eventually, I just need a little time. - A_

I understand. If your father won't listen, though, then you should stand up to him. Tell him that you're not going to listen to him anymore, and it's time you made your own decisions. You're old enough to know what you want, and you don't need him to tell you otherwise. - Merlin

_Thank you, really. - A_

You're more than welcome. - Merlin

* * *

**Well? I know it was kind of short, but I hope you liked it anyway. Review please! ;)**


	5. Chapter Five

**Hey guys!**

**So I had a few more reviews on the last chapter, so thank you for them! This story now has 67 followers, so that's got to be a good sign! I'm not going to keep you much longer, I just wanted to say thank you, really!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

The next night, Merlin sat on Gwen's bed, laughing until his eyes filled with tears. A tub of cookie-dough ice cream sat between them, as they took turns eating spoonfulls. Gwen was laughing as well, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she did so. She'd invited Merlin over to stay the night, saying that they had lots to catch up on. Merlin wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but he never passed up an invitation to Gwen's, as there was usually ice cream involved. He'd only been there about half an hour, and already he'd eaten more ice cream than he thought was humanly possible.

He loved having Gwen as a friend, because she always knew exactly what to say, and always knew exactly what he needed to hear. But not only that, she never failed to make him laugh. Take right now, for example. Merlin's sides were splitting with peals of laughter, and he wasn't even sure what had made him laugh in the first place.

Gwen wiped a happy tear from her eye, and took another spoonful of ice cream, looking thoughtful for a moment.

"So . . . ." she began, and Merlin knew where the conversation was going. Whenever Gwen's voice took on that particular tone, he knew that he wasn't really going to like the question that followed. "Is there anyone you're . . . interested in at the moment?"

Merlin just glared at her. Gwen always assumed that he was "_interested" _in someone, and practically _lived _to talk about boys. She just liked the gossip, he supposed. Although he complained about her always asking him about it, he did like having someone to talk to about that kind of stuff. Because, if he didn't talk to Gwen, he doubted there was actually anyone else he could talk to about it. Of course, there was always Gwaine, but it wasn't really the same.

"I was only asking . . . " Gwen mumbled, but Merlin could tell that she wasn't about to drop the subject that quickly. She took another spoonful of ice cream, again, looking very thoughtful as she did so. Then, her eyes lit up. "Gwaine?"

"No, Gwen."

"Leon?"

"No."

"Percival?"

"No."

"Elyan?"

"Guinevere! He's your brother! No, of course not!" Merlin yelled, picking up a _very _large, fluffy pillow from behind him, and throwing it at her head. But Gwen saw it coming and ducked skilfully. Merlin envied her sometimes, as he did most people, for how agile she was. He, himself, was incredibly clumsy, and constantly tripping over _everything. _Had it been him that the pillow had been aimed at, not only would it have hit him, but it probably would have knocked him off the bed altogether. _That's _how bad he was.

"Well, you never know," Gwen replied, grinning smugly, bringing the pillow to rest in her lap, and bringing her arms around it.

"Anyway, there's no need to ask who it is that _you're _interested in," Merlin teased, and Gwen faked confusion, claiming to not have a clue what he was talking about. Taking the spoon out of the ice cream, Merlin ate the ice cream on the spoon, and then raised it to his mouth once more, using it as a kind of microphone. "Lance, how I love you, Lance how I dooooo. _When we're apart, my heart beats ooooonly for yoooooooooooou!"_

Gwen just glared at him, trying her hardest not to laugh, but Merlin could see her smiling anyway. Gwen's attraction to Lancelot had been clear from the first day Merlin had met her, and it turned out that everyone else had noticed it too. Well, everyone but Lancelot himself, it seemed, though he appeared to be just as infatuated with Gwen as she was with him.

"Oh shut up," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "So there's really no one?"

"Nope," Merlin replied, without a moment's hesitation, though, to be perfectly honest, he wasn't sure. Him and 'A' had been getting pretty close recently, and though he knew it was stupid, Merlin was actually getting quite attached to the mysterious stranger. He knew it was bad, as he'd never actually met the guy before, but he felt like they had . . . . a connection. Still, he wasn't going to tell anyone about it. Not yet, anyway. Not until he was sure.

"Oh really?" Gwen asked smugly, raising her eyebrows. Merlin wasn't sure what she knew, but from the look on her face, she knew _something. _"So what was that, between you and Arthur, that I witnessed, yesterday? You two seemed very . . . happy."

"And . . . ?" Merlin asked, suddenly getting very defensive, and his heart was suddenly beating very fast. He wasn't sure why, but he put it down to the fact that Gwen was accusing him of having feelings for that prat. "Am I not allowed to be happy anymore?"

"I'm not saying that, it's just . . . I've never seen you two have a conversation that didn't involve an argument. It just . . . seemed a little odd, don't you think?"

"Don't get your hopes up, Gwen," Merlin said, shaking his head, and looking down at the tub of ice cream. His heartbeat slowed back down to normal, and even he could detect a hint of sadness in his voice. "He was probably just having a good day, and didn't feel like picking on me. It was nothing more than that."

"If you say so," Gwen whispered, realizing she'd struck a nerve. It was clearly something Merlin had been thinking about for a while now, and obviously something that he didn't feel like talking about, so she left it there, changing the subject to something more light-hearted. Merlin would talk about it when he was ready.

* * *

It was a few hours later, when the doorbell rang. Gwen and Merlin's laughing ceased immediately, both wondering who could be coming to Gwen's door at this time. Her parents were out, as was Elyan, so it was just the two of them. The house was quiet, and most of it was in darkness. Merlin knew it was stupid to be scared, but he could see the same fear reflected in Gwen's face. It was like something out of a bad horror move; two teenagers, alone in a dark house, at midnight, and an uninvited stranger shows up at the door.

_Diiiiiiiiing-doooooooooong._

Merlin gestured for Gwen to go and get the door, as the bell rung out again, but she shook her head. Standing up, she pulled Merlin with her. As they made their way towards the stairs, a flash of lightening caused Gwen to grab his hand, but Merlin didn't complain, as he himself had let out a . . . very _manly _shriek at the lightening. Clearing his throat, Merlin lead the rest of the way down the stairs, stopping when the front door came into view, a few steps before the bottom.

_Diiiiiiiing-doooooooooong._

Gwen's front door was the kind that had a window of frosted-glass, the kind that you can't see through very well, just outlines. Merlin could hear the sounds of the wind, and rain outside, as well as the thunder, and see the flashes of lightening. And the shadow he saw through the window was just as frightening. It was tall, and slim, and was dressed in all-black, with a hood up. If he wasn't scared before, he _definitely _was now.

_Diiiiiiing-doooooooooong._

The two teenagers stood, looking at the door, unsure of what to do. It was clear by now that the visitor wasn't going away, judging by the amount of times that they'd rung the bell, they obviously knew that they were in there. The only thing they _could _do, was to open the door. Deep down, they knew they were being stupid, and it was probably just Elyan, or Gwen's parents, but, at the same time, they were still incredibly scared, especially as they'd been watching some horror movies a few hours before.

_Diiiiiiing-doooooooooong._

Merlin looked at Gwen, and she nodded. He moved slowly towards the door, trying not to make any noise, whilst pulling Gwen behind him. He reached for the lock on the door, and pushed it across carefully. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, and his palms were beginning to sweat. What if it was an axe-murderer? Or a gunman? Or . . . . or - _Stop it! _he thought to himself, pausing for a moment, _just open the damn door!_

_Diiiiiiing-doooooooooong._

_On three . . . . _his hand reached for the handle, shaking as it closed around the cold metal.

_Two . . . . . _he looked behind him at Gwen, giving her a nervous smile.

_One._

And before he could stop himself, Merlin flung the door open with a flick of his wrist, to reveal . . . . . .

Morgana.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he stepped aside, so that Gwen could see who it was. The same look of relief washed over her face as well, as they both stepped aside to let Morgana in. She was soaked to the skin, and only wearing a very thin hooded top and jeans. And when she pulled down her hood, Merlin could see her face more clearly, and could tell that she'd been crying. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and make-up was running down her face. She was shivering, and her breathing was erratic, though from crying, or the cold, Merlin couldn't tell.

Closing the door behind her, without a word, Merlin brought the cold, shivering girl into his arms, as she cried into his shirt. Whenever Morgana cried, then there was something seriously wrong, that much was obvious. He kept one arm around her waist, and used the other to rub her back soothingly. Over her shoulder, he mouthed for Gwen to get her some towels. Nodding, the brunette scurried off, in search of some.

Morgana pulled herself out of Merlin's embrace slowly, brushing her damp hair away from her face. She gave him a sad, thankful smile, while he looked at her quizzically.

"Do you think Gwen would mind if I stayed the night here?" Morgana asked, her voice coming out sounding very hoarse. Merlin wondered for a moment how long she'd been crying for, but that wasn't important right now.

"Not at all," he replied, still looking very concerned and confused. "But why? If you don't mind my asking?"

"Arthur and Uther got into a fight," Morgana answered shortly, looking down at the floor. If Merlin didn't know any better, he'd say she almost looked . . . guilty.

"Why, what happened?" Merlin asked, wanting to find out more, but it was too late, Gwen was back with the towels. Morgana smiled at her thankfully, and Gwen lead her into the living room to get herself cleaned up. And after a moment, Merlin followed.

* * *

**I know . . . it's very short, and not very good, I'm sorry, but I PROMISE you, the best is yet to come! So please, please, please review!**

**:)**


	6. Chapter Six

**Hey guys! **

**I know, the last chapter was kind of short, but I'll try and make this one longer, I promise. Although it will only consist of one scene . . . still, we'll see how it goes. Even if it is short, the updates are coming a lot faster now, so, hopefully, it will be alright. **

**But, before we begin, some of you had a few questions;**

**Sam83 - "Does Morgana know?"**

**Morgana does know that Merlin and Arthur have been talking, as she was the one that introduced Arthur to the site, saying he could talk to Merlin on it. Also, the conversation at first was public, and everyone would have been able to see it. Although I haven't mentioned it yet, both Morgan and Gwen have read the conversation, but Morgana is the only one that knows it's Arthur. It's complicated, I know, but I'll get it into the story somewhere, I promise. That'll probably make it a lot clearer.**

**Adnarim Neko - "What happened? Why is Morgana looking guilty?"**

**Basically, what happened, is that Arthur and Uther got into an argument because Merlin told 'A' to stand up to his father. Arthur did stand up to him, and it resulted in an argument. Morgana was looking guilty simply because she knows that Arthur is 'A', and knows that it's because Merlin gave Arthur advice, that they got into an argument in the first place. So it's not really anything that bad, it's just because she knows about Arthur, and Merlin's her best friend, so she feels bad not being able to tell him.**

**That's all for now, enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

Sat in Science class, Merlin tapped his pen on his book impatiently. He glanced at the clock, watching the seconds tick by, and waiting for the lesson to be over. It was his last lesson of the day, and all he wanted was to go home, and wait for 'A' to come online. He wasn't really aware of it at first, but he'd become very attached to talking to 'A', and it was now becoming a big part of his daily routine. 'A' became all he thought about, and, if someone else knew about it, it probably would have been all he talked about too.

He could sense Arthur tensing beside him, and Merlin could tell that the pen-tapping was annoying him. He set it down on the table slowly, casting him an apologetic look. Arthur just nodded, turning his attention back to the teacher, for once. It was strange, because normally, Merlin was the one paying attention to the teacher, and Arthur would just be messing around. But now, Merlin just couldn't bring himself to focus. Every time he tried, thoughts of 'A' just crept back into his mind. Because he was with him, right that second, and he had no idea who it was.

Taking the opportunity to look around the classroom, Merlin took the time to observe all the boys individually. First, sat at the very back of the room, was Cedric. He was a skinny, rat of a boy, with long, greasy hair. He was what Merlin liked to call a "sheep". He followed anyone with the slightest hint of popularity, floating around them like an annoying ghost. Merlin had never really spoken to Cedric directly, but he'd seen him around other people. The way he followed people, grovelling for their approval, or attention, it was ridiculous. No, 'A' could never be Cedric. Even if the whole thing was a joke, Cedric wasn't capable of either.

Sat in front of Cedric, his most recent idols, were Cenred and Valiant. Cenred was one of the most popular boys in school, but for all the wrong reasons. Whilst most people feared Arthur and his "knights", they feared Cenred and Valiant _much _more. Arthur's gang were more men of words, than men of action. Cenred and Valiant were _definitely _men of action. Most of the time, they stayed silent, and just exchanged looks with each other than seemed to say more than a thousand words. People mostly just stayed away from them, and Merlin had no idea how Cedric had lasted so long at their side. They were probably just liking having someone to carry their books for them. Eventually, they'd get bored, and _then _Cedric would be in trouble. No, 'A' could never be one of them.

Then there was Percival, sat a few rows in front of Cenred and Valiant. Percival had never really talked much, but Merlin knew he wasn't like the rest of Arthur's "knights". To be honest, most of them weren't that bad. Well, the ones that he knew the names of, anyway. But while Percival was considered the "muscle" of the group, Merlin could also tell that he was probably one of the kindest. If it were Percival, and Merlin doubted it was, then he couldn't say he would mind.

Sat next to Percival, was Gwaine. Merlin and Gwaine had been friends for years, even before Merlin had moved school. They hadn't lived in the same village like his best friend Will, but their mothers had been friends since high school. They'd seen each other a lot as children, and had kept in touch. While Merlin and Gwaine were quite close, they didn't talk that much anymore, and Merlin knew that Gwaine was definitely, 100% straight. And even if he wasn't, Merlin wouldn't be interested, and he doubted Gwaine would either. No, they were like brothers.

There were only five other guys left in the class that he hadn't considered; Gilli, Leon, Lancelot, Mordred, and _Arthur, _and he knew it would be none of them. Gilli, because yes, he was quiet, but he'd never even shown the slightest interest in anyone, let alone _Merlin. _He was far too interested in his schoolwork, and didn't really have any friends. Merlin used to pity him, until he found out that Gilli liked it that way. It couldn't be Leon, because he and Merlin had never even exchanged glances in the hallway, let alone had an actual conversation. And it couldn't be Lancelot, because he was far too interested in Gwen. Not that Merlin was jealous, of course not, they were perfect for each other. Besides, Lancelot could be a little . . . dumb sometimes._  
_

That left Mordred and Arthur. And those were the two he was _certain _about. First of all, Mordred. Mordred was the one that had started teasing Merlin in the first place. If it wasn't for him, he doubted Arthur and the other "knights" would have even noticed his existence. And out of everyone else, Mordred had always been the one that picked on Merlin the most. While the others stuck to words, little jokes, and teasing, Mordred would use violence. He would make it so that Merlin no longer felt safe. So that he was constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for another beating. Of course, this usually only lasted a few weeks, until Mordred got bored. But he always came back for more.

And _Arthur. _

Merlin turned to look at the strangely quiet blonde sat next to him. It was unusual for Arthur to stay so quiet. He hadn't even welcomed Merlin with an insult when he walked into the classroom. Merlin was beginning to wonder if something was wrong. Of course, he knew that Arthur had had a fight with his father over the weekend, and that was probably all it was.

It couldn't be Arthur, either. It just couldn't, simple as.

So that left . . . no one. The more Merlin thought about it, the more he began to worry that 'A' didn't actually exist. And that scared him more than anything. That the whole thing might just be a joke. Something made up by one of the "knights", just so they could make fun of him behind his back. Make him reveal secrets that they could use against him. Because more than anything, he _needed _'A' to be real. He needed to know that good people still existed, that there was someone out there, who might _actually _care for him. He just needed that _one _person.

Suddenly, Arthur's head snapped to the side, catching Merlin in the act of his staring. Merlin looked away quickly, but it was too late, Arthur had already noticed. And by the looks of things, he wasn't planning on letting it go. He looked at Merlin, confused. And when a few awkward seconds had passed, Merlin looked back, seeing Arthur was glaring at him.

"What are you looking at, Emrys?" Arthur spat, and Merlin flinched at his harsh tone. Just last lesson, they'd been on the floor, laughing with each other, and smiling. And now, well, it seemed they were back to normal.

Now, Merlin was never usually one to get angry, but, after the last lesson, Merlin had honestly thought that something had changed. In that small moment they'd shared, Arthur had actually been _himself, _something Merlin had never really seen before. And some small part of him had hoped that would last. But no, Arthur Prat-dragon was right back to treating him like dirt under his shoe, and Merlin wasn't going to stand for it any longer. Not after he'd actually let him believe something was different.

"Just because your father is ashamed of you, doesn't mean that you have to take it out on me!" Merlin spat back, between gritted teeth. He saw the shock and hurt on Arthur's face, but he didn't seem to be able to stop himself. Once the words were out, it didn't seem like they were going to stop. "And to be honest, I can't say I blame him. You're a bully, and a terrible person! You treat other people like dirt, and yet still expect them to worship the ground you walk on. Well, I'm telling you now, sunshine, people don't work like that! You want people to respect you, to treat you with kindness, and gratitude? Then treat them the same. You're never going to connect with anyone the way you're going.

And the people you call 'friends'? They're only with you, because they're either scared of you, or they want to be popular. I'd like to see what happens, when one day, someone gives you a taste of your own medicine, who'll stick around to actually listen to you. I'd like to see you go through the kind of pain you've been inflicting on me for years, and see how you handle it, because I sure as Hell can't anymore! I've had enough of you, Arthur bloody-Pendragon. I don't care who you are, or what your name means. I don't care who your father is, or how rich you are. I don't care if your father could get me expelled in an instant, because I'm _tired._

I'm tired of pretending that what you do to people is okay. I'm tired of seeing people give you respect that you don't _deserve. _If you want to gain people's respect, you have to _earn _it. It shouldn't be about who your father is, it should be about who _you _are, as a person. You disgust me, and I'm sure your father would say the same. And I'm willing to bet he probably did."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was a mistake. His breathing was heavy, and he hadn't even realized he'd been shouting, until he saw that all eyes in the classroom were on him. Even the teacher was looking at him with a shocked expression. He opened his mouth to apologize, but it was met with a fist colliding with his cheek.

The force of the punch sent him tumbling to the floor, and he scrambled to get up quickly, looking Arthur in the eyes. _Now, _he could see the hurt. There were tears of anger in Arthur's eyes, and his hands were curled into fists. He was trembling with rage, and Merlin honestly wondered whether he was going to hit him again. But instead, Arthur pushed past him, knocking him down again when they bumped shoulders, adding extra force.

And from where he sat on the cold classroom floor, Merlin watched as Arthur stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

**Well? I know it was short again, but . . . the next chapter will be a lot longer, I can actually guarantee that. But please, REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Hey guys!**

**So, I know that last chapter was also very short, but this one, I GUARANTEE you, will be longer. Thank you for all of your kind reviews and support, it really does mean a lot. This fic has already almost reached 100 reviews, and is almost at 100 followers, and that means a lot!**

**These were some questions that were asked;**

**Tallulah Edwards - "How long till Merlin figures out that Arthur's A?"**

**xPrinceArthurx - "How long until Merlin finds out it's Arthur?"**

**I can't really say for sure, but the fic will be longer than 15 chapters, I know that for certain now. Merlin will find out/figure it out in the last few chapters of the story. When I know for sure how long that will be, I'll tell you.**

**- "I want to know what the fight between Arthur and his dad was about."**

**It was just that Arthur finally stood up for himself, telling his father that he can make his own decisions, and he's not going to be ordered around anymore. And, well, Uther didn't take that so well. If you want, I could do a flashback, showing you what happened, if that's what you guys want. But I prefer the mystery.**

**WishIwasthere - "A little overboard there, huh?"**

**I know, but Merlin's words needed to _really_ needed to hurt Arthur, and that was the only way I could think of to do it. It probably wouldn't have seemed as bad as it did, if I'd introduced Arthur bullying Merlin a little more, showed you the pain he caused him for all those years. But, don't we all go a little overboard sometimes, and say things that we don't really mean? :)**

**Cloud9 - "Why didn't the teacher do anything?"**

**I think because, first of all, it happened kind of fast, and also, because they were just so shocked that someone was actually standing up to Arthur.**

**That's all for now, I think, but if any of you have any other questions, let me know, because I love to answer them!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

The next day, Merlin was sat in Science class again, waiting for the minute the lesson would be over, so he could go to lunch. Arthur hadn't showed up to any of the lessons that day, and Merlin was beginning to worry. He knew he'd gone too far, he knew that, and the moment Arthur returned, he was going to apologize straight away, and beg for his forgiveness. But it was unlike Arthur not to come to class. For one of the most popular boys in school, Arthur was one of the only ones that attended every class, and never skipped school. So that made it even worse.

He already regretted everything he'd said to Arthur, no matter how true some of it had been, it was uncalled for. But that was what happened to Merlin sometimes, and it was his own fault, really. He spent all his time bottling up his pain, keeping it inside, and never telling anyone, or letting it out. And then, in one single moment, it would all come spilling out in a furious rage. And he was often unable to control it.

Arthur had bullied him for years, and it had taken this long for Merlin to tell him even a small part of how it felt. There were so many times he'd wanted Arthur to _understand. _Thinking that, maybe, if he did, he wouldn't be so cruel. From the day that they first met, Arthur had picked on Merlin, and his friends had followed. It had taken a while for Merlin to make friends, because of how insecure Arthur and his friends had made him feel. But, over time, Gwen and Morgana had been able to patch him back together. And it seemed, on the outside, that Arthur's words no longer hurt him. But they did.

Still, it hadn't been as bad recently. Arthur wasn't bullying him as much, and it seemed that maybe he and his friends had gotten bored. That was less likely to happen now. After what Merlin had said to him, things were almost guaranteed to go back to normal, probably even worse. Even if Arthur never spoke to him again, even if he never even told his friends what happened, most of them had heard Merlin's outburst anyway, or at least seen the punch, they would know that he'd hurt Arthur somehow. It would only be a few days before they acted.

No one had said a word to him all day, not even Morgana and Gwen. He could tell they were mad at him, or, at least, Morgana was. He was waiting until lunch to explain himself. He knew he shouldn't have mentioned Arthur's father. That had definitely taken it too far, and Morgana in particular wouldn't be happy about that. But they didn't _know. _They didn't know how much words could hurt, especially over that length of time. And just because he'd stopped talking to them about it, it didn't mean the pain wasn't still there.

Looking around the classroom, he tried to find someone, anyone, who would actually look him in the eye. Yet, he could find none. Not even the teacher would look at him, he just kept turning back to the board, or switching his gaze to another student. Morgana and Gwen were facing the front stiffly, refusing to turn around, and Merlin wanted to shout out to them, but he couldn't really say he blamed them.

The clock ticked, and Merlin's eyes flitted to it quickly. _Five more minutes. _He looked down at his book, seeing the only thing he'd actually written was the date. Turning back a few pages, he hadn't been doing that much work recently. And when he thought about it, he hadn't done much in other classes, either. Sooner or later, his teachers were going to notice, and then he'd be in _real _trouble. His mother had had to do a lot of grovelling to get him into Camelot High in the first place, and all he was doing was setting himself up to get sent back to Ealdor. And he didn't want that, not anymore.

Just as the hands on the clock moved again, _four more minutes, _Merlin heard the classroom door slam. Still, he didn't move his gaze from the clock. Tapping his foot impatiently, he heard the teacher say;

"Ah, Mr Pendragon, so nice of you to grace us with your presence."

Merlin's eyes snapped over to the door, seeing Arthur nod at the teacher half-heartedly. He kept his head low, and made his way over to his seat. Instantly, Merlin's heart began to hammer in his chest, and he was engulfed in the scent of him. He'd never noticed until now, how intoxicating Arthur's smell was. As the class continued, Merlin turned in his seat to look at the blonde. He was looking down at the table, refusing to meet Merlin's eyes, and swinging his feet under the stool anxiously. Merlin could tell he wanted the lesson to finish as early as possible, just as he had, a few minutes ago.

"Arthur, I - " he began, whispering so as their conversation wouldn't be overheard. Not this time.

"It's fine, Merlin." Arthur replied shortly, still looking at the table. "Just leave it, okay? It doesn't matter."

"It's not fine, I shouldn't have said those things, and I'm sorr -"

"Stop," Arthur interrupted again, looking at Merlin this time. He paused for a moment, as the shrill sound of the school bell rang through the classroom. He looked right into Merlin's eyes, fixing him with a stony glare. Somehow, though, Merlin found it hard to look away. Arthur stood up, getting his bag, and throwing it back over his shoulder. Merlin stood with him. "I told you, leave it. It's not important."

And with that, he stormed out of the classroom for the second time in two days, and Merlin just stood, watching him walk away.

* * *

Later that day, a few hours after school had finished, Merlin found himself walking to the Pendragon's house in the rain. He was already soaked to the skin, but was determined to carry on walking. After Science class, the teacher had called him over, asking if he could talk to him about something. Merlin knew what it was about, it was obvious. A student couldn't just have a giant outburst in class, and not be expected to be punished for it. Except, he _wasn't _punished for it. The teacher explained to him that Arthur had come to see him after school yesterday, and "explained the whole thing". He'd told the teacher that it was all his fault, and that Merlin was in no way to blame. Arthur had a detention that night, for punching Merlin.

He couldn't believe it. After everything he'd said to him, Arthur had _stuck _up for Merlin, and got him out of trouble. And that was why, Merlin was walking to his house in the rain. Arthur deserved an apology, and a thanks, for getting Merlin out of trouble. He'd already explained to Morgana and Gwen _most _of what had happened, and whilst they hadn't _completely _forgiven him, they'd still all eaten lunch together, which was good enough for now.

Looking up through his eyelashes and the rain, Merlin finally found himself at the Pendragon's house. It never ceased to amaze him how big it was. He'd been there thousands of times, when Morgana invited him over, but he'd never get used to its size. House was probably the wrong word, it was more of a mansion, with a grand, circular driveway, with a small patch of grass in the middle. He made his way up to the door, and rang the bell. He heard it ring throughout the house, and heard a clack of heels running to the door.

The door was thrown open, and there stood Morgana. He saw the confusion fall across her face, and a slight hint of anger still lay behind her eyes. But, seeing Merlin stood on her doorstep, shivering and wet, she sighed, stepping aside to let him in. It almost mirrored the situation from the other night perfectly, when she'd shown up at Gwen's doorstep. Giving him a small smile, she ran upstairs to get some towels, while Merlin swung his arms awkwardly, awaiting her return.

He kept going over in his head what he'd say to Arthur, and how he'd get him to forgive him, eventually. He wasn't sure why he wanted his forgiveness so much, but he put it down to the fact that he just never liked to see people in pain. Emotional, or physical. He just wished he could say the same for Arthur. Still, he wanted him to forgive him, then he wouldn't feel so bad about what he'd done.

Morgana came running back down the stairs, and threw a towel at Merlin. And in just a few minutes, the two of them managed to get him moderately dry. His hair was still damp, and his clothes were a mess, but it was an improvement. Turning to look at Morgana, who laughed, when he gave his hair a shake like a wet dog, he went to speak, but she interrupted him. She always knew exactly what he was going to say. He never knew how, but she just did.

"He's upstairs."

Merlin nodded at her, and she pulled him in for a quick hug, before sending him up the stairs. Taking it one step at a time, Merlin wrung his hands, and took deep breaths. He passed walls of neatly placed, modern art, and tread carefully on the expensive, Egyptian carpet. He never understood why Morgana and Arthur went to Camelot High. Yes, their father was the Headmaster, and he pretty much _owned _the school, but everyone knew Uther could afford to send them to any of the top grammar schools in the country. God knows both of them were smart enough.

Not that there was anything wrong with Camelot High, of course not, Merlin loved it there, it's just, there were _better _schools. And since Uther seemed to give his children the best of _everything, _it made no sense to Merlin why that wouldn't include the best education.

He passed countless doors, and counted his way along. He'd come up with a number system for the Pendragon's house, as there were so many doors, he often got confused. It was not unlike the hallway of a hotel, just an endless string of doors on each side, except none were labelled, which made it harder. _One to the left, Uther's room, one to the right, bathroom, two to the left, Morgana's room, two to the right, Morgana's wardrobe, three to the left, second living room, three to the right, Uther's study, four to the left, first guest room, four to the right, second guest room, five to the left, second bathroom, five to the right, second kitchen, six to the left, games room, aaaaaaand six to the right . . . _Arthur's room.

Morgana had told Merlin once that Arthur had asked specifically for his room to be at the end of the hallway. He was quite closed off at home, and often spent most of his time _in _his room, as he didn't like being around his father. Morgana often spent time with him in there, as he only ever came out to go in the games room, or to use the second kitchen. And as there was a duplicate of everything he might have needed downstairs, upstairs, he never really needed to leave the second floor. And Merlin couldn't say he blamed him.

Raising his hand to the door, he knocked lightly, half-hoping that Arthur wouldn't hear it. He didn't know why he was suddenly nervous, but the feeling didn't seem to be going away any time soon. He held his breath, as if, somehow, Arthur would hear his erratic breathing through the door.

"Whoever it is, go away." came the sharp reply, and Merlin couldn't help but feel a little offended, even if it was his fault that Arthur was angry and upset. Still, he gritted his teeth, clenched his fists, and opened the door slowly.

He'd never been in Arthur's room before, and it took him a moment to adjust, as it was not at all what he had expected. Merlin had been expecting a white, pristine room, with everything being very symmetrical and simple, though grand in size. And while it was just as grand, it was not at all like he had thought. In the middle of the room, was Arthur's bed, which was a perfect rectangle, with dark crimson sheets. Behind it, the wallpaper was a photograph of what Merlin could only guess was New York city. A bookcase was next to Arthur's bed, with more books than Merlin could even dream of owning, although the Pendragons had a small room that they used as a library downstairs.

The other walls were painted red, with posters of various bands that Merlin had never heard of, and different guitars. In one corner, facing the window, was a desk, and chair, which Arthur was now currently occupying. His laptop sat at the side of the desk, with the rest of it being covered with paper that Arthur had scribbled on. On the other side of the room, was a small, black sofa. Merlin walked over to it, looking a lot more confident than he felt, and sat down carefully.

"We need to talk," he whispered. Whether Arthur had noticed his presence before he spoke, Merlin couldn't tell, but he turned casually to face him nonetheless.

"There's nothing to talk about, it's done." Arthur replied numbly. He wasn't even looking at Merlin properly, it was more like he was looking _through _him. He didn't even say anything about the fact that Merlin had come into his room without really asking to.

"No, we have to talk about this, I -" Merlin paused, clasping his hands together in his lap, and leaning forward. "I'm sorry, about what I said to you, I . . . I'm sorry about all of it. I never meant any of it, I was just . . . I was angry. I shouldn't have said the things that I did, I know that now. I took it too far, and it became too personal, and you have no idea how bad I feel right now. I-"

"Merlin, I've told you, just leave it."

"I can't, I shouldn't have said that to you, I was wrong, and I'm sorry. You can say it doesn't matter all you want, but it's obvious that it does, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this. Just . . . say something? Something about how you really feel, and not what you think I, or anybody else wants to hear. Just tell me that what I said did have some kind of an impact on you, because I can tell that it did! You want everyone to think that you're numbed to that kind of pain, that you don't feel hurt, fine, but just be real with me, at least?"

"You want me to be real with you?" Arthur asked, a hint of anger in his voice as he stood. He dragged his chair over to where Merlin was, and sat facing him. "Fine, I'll be real. What you said, it hurt. You know it did, so I don't know why you're asking. But it hurt so much because . . . everything that you said, it's true, and you and I both know it."

Merlin was taken aback. "How can you think that, even for a second?" he asked, looking into the blonde's eyes. "Of course it's not true, none of it's true, okay? I said some terrible things to you, things that were private, things that were personal, it was my fault, not yours."

"But I hurt you, Merlin," Arthur sighed, burying his head in his hands. "I hurt you, and I never even gave it a second thought. All those things I said, everything I did, making fun of you, taunting you, I never stopped to think about what it might have been doing to you. I was selfish, and only thought about myself, and how I was feeling. I'm so sorry, Merlin. _So, _incredibly sorry. No one deserves to be treated the way that I treated you."

"Arthur, you're missing the point," Merlin was the one to sigh this time, thinking of some way he might be able to get through to him. "You're not a bad person, I know you're not. You've made some bad choices, sure, but it happens to everyone. Everything you've done to me, if you never do it again, I'm sure I'd be able to find it in myself to forgive you."

"How could you?" Arthur asked, clasping his hands in his lap, but looking at the floor. And suddenly, without warning, Merlin found himself reaching out for those hands. He placed his small, paint-covered hand over both of Arthur's causing him to finally look him in the eye.

"Because, despite what everyone else may believe, you're just another human being, Arthur. You make mistakes, you have regrets, you laugh, you cry, you love, you feel alone, just as everybody else does. Sometimes people forget that. And just like any other human being, you deserve to be forgiven for your mistakes, so that you can move on from them. So that you can become the better person that I now _know _you can be."

"Thank you, Merlin." Arthur whispered, using one of his hands to pat the other boy's lightly.

"What did I do?" Merlin asked, tilting his head to one side.

"You didn't do anything, you just . . . " Arthur paused for a second, as his warm, blue eyes met Merlin's icy ones. "You taught me something."

* * *

Merlin's last few minutes with Arthur had passed in a comfortable silence, before he'd decided to leave. He'd left with nothing more than a goodbye, but neither of them minded. It had stopped raining now, as Merlin walked home, and the sun was just peeking out from behind the clouds. And Merlin didn't usually believe in that type of thing, but he took it as a sign. A sign that things were going to get better, were going to _be _better from now on.

Walking confidently down the street, Merlin was hit by a sudden thought, that made him stop in his tracks.

Had he just spent half an hour, _defending _Arthur Pendragon?

He guessed he had. Because, sitting with Arthur in that room, he'd realized some things that he'd never really thought about before. And although it seemed he'd had no control over most of the things he'd said, they'd come quite naturally, and, if Merlin was being honest with himself, he had probably never spoken truer words in his life.

There was no point holding a grudge against Arthur. Because, in the end, he _was _just another human being, and he _did _make mistakes. He was sorry, and that was all that mattered.

Because everyone deserved to be forgiven.

* * *

**Well? I'm not so sure about this chapter, but let me know what you thought, anyway. REVIEW! :)**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Hey guys!**

**So I think the last chapter was one of my better ones, and hopefully this one can carry on from that! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and I'm not going to keep you too long, I promise.**

**This story is now only 5 reviews away from 100! If it does make it to 100, I'll . . . well, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll think of something!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

**~ Wednesday, 17:00 ~**

_You there? - A_

Yeah, I'm here. I'm so sorry, the past few days have been kind of . . . hectic. I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you? - Merlin

_Not at all, I completely understand. - A_

Thanks. - Merlin

_Nothing to thank me for. How are you, anyway? - A_

I'm fine now, thanks. And you? - Merlin

_Great, thank you. - A_

How's . . . everything coming along? Have you figured things out yet? About . . . - Merlin

_About whether I'm gay or not? - A_

Yeah. - Merlin

_You don't need to skirt around the subject, Merlin. You're the only person I actually feel comfortable talking about this with. - A_

Okay. But have you? - Merlin

_I . . . yes. I'm gay, or at least bisexual. - A_

I'm proud of you, you know. I know that sounds really weird and everything, but I am. - Merlin

_Why? - A_

Because it takes a lot of courage, to admit that to someone, and even more courage to admit it to yourself. When I first realized I was gay, I tried to deny it for so long, tried to fight it, to try and find some way to _make _myself interested in girls, but in the end, I just had to admit it. - Merlin

_How did you . . . tell people, though? - A_

I just . . . I remember, I sat them down, in a private space, just the two of us, and . . . I just told them. I just said it, "I'm gay," and that was it. There really isn't anything else you need to say, after that, they either accept it, or they don't, but in the end, you just have to say two little words, and that's it. - Merlin

_And what do you do if they don't accept it? - A_

Then you move on. Because that means they're not accepting you for who you are, and you can't have those kinds of people in your life. It's not good for you. - Merlin

_Thanks, Merlin. - A_

You're more than welcome. And honestly, if there's ever anything else you want to talk about, I'm always here, okay? - Merlin

_Okay. - A :)_

:) - Merlin

_So what happened anyway? In your "hectic" few days? - A_

I don't really want to talk about it. - Merlin

* * *

Arthur's hands paused, held over the keyboard in shock. Why would Merlin not want to talk about it? Merlin had talked about Arthur plenty of times before to 'A', and been happy to, it seemed, so why wouldn't he talk about what happened between them? Arthur had shared so much with Merlin as 'A', things that he never would have told anybody else, and yet, Merlin wasn't willing to share what had happened between them? In a way though, Arthur was happy, because it meant that Merlin wouldn't go telling anybody that asked what'd happened, because he definitely didn't want that. But at the same time, he was insulted that Merlin wouldn't share it with him.

He knew it was stupid, because he already knew, of course, but all the same . . . He shook his head, and placed his hands back on the keyboard. It wasn't really that important, but Arthur had thought they'd actually had a moment or that there had, even if only for a second, been something between them. That moment had been something Arthur had dreamed of for so long, and he just wanted to know that it had meant as much to Merlin as it had to him.

* * *

**~ Wednesday, 19:00 ~**

_Who was the first person you told, when you came out? - A_

I . . . I think it was Gaius, my uncle. I didn't actually realize I was gay until I came here. I used to live in Ealdor with my mother, but she didn't have enough money to support the both of us, so I came here. - Merlin

_What was it though, that made you realize you were gay? - A_

It was my friend, well, my best friend, Will. Back in Ealdor, we'd always been really close, except for the last few weeks. Because I'd started to think I had feelings for him. I was confused, and angry, but I took it all out on Will. We got into a lot of fights, but I never told him what had made me so angry. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him . . . A few weeks into coming here, I got a call from my mother, telling me that Will had been hit by a car, and he hadn't made it. I cried until my voice was hoarse. And that was when I knew. - Merlin

_I'm sorry, about what happened to Will. - A_

It's not your fault. It took me a while to get over, and a while to realize that it wasn't _anybody's _fault. I blamed myself for quite a while, thinking if I'd just stayed a little longer, that I could have . . . But I know now that I couldn't. What happened to Will was a tragic accident, but an accident nonetheless. - Merlin

_I often wish I was more like you, you know. - A_

What do you mean? - Merlin

_You're just . . . you're always so sure about things, so composed, so level-headed. I just wish I was more like that. You really think things through, and don't let them affect you. - A_

I wasn't always like this though. - Merlin

_Neither was I. - A_

**~ Wednesday, 20:00 ~**

Are you ever going to tell me who you are? - Merlin

_I . . . I think so, yes. - A_

Just not right now? - Merlin

_No, not right now. Do you think you can handle that? - A_

I think so, yes. - Merlin

_Oh thank God, because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to at the moment. - A_

Why, what's wrong? - Merlin

_I . . . I stood up to my father. - A_

Oh my God. What did he say? - Merlin

_Not much really . . . . ._

* * *

_"I'm only doing what's best for you!" Uther yelled, as he watched Arthur pace back and forth in front of him. But while his son was obviously getting more and more agitated, he continued to sit, legs crossed, in his favourite armchair. But while his body language said 'relaxed', his tone of voice was entirely different._

_"You mean what you _think _is best for me." Arthur muttered, running a shaking had through his hair._

_"Look, if I left these things to you, you'd only end up regretting it later in life." Uther replied, lower his voice._

_"And so what if I did?" Arthur asked, stopping his pacing to look his father in the eye. "At least then I'd know that it was my decision!"_

_"I just want you to be the kind of man I know you have the potential to be?"_

_"And what kind of man is that? One who only does what his father tells him to? Who only acts when his father gives the word? Or do you want me to be like you? Cynical, cold, and set in your ways. You can never accept anything new, you're too closed minded for that. In your mind, there are only two sides; your side, and the wrong one. The _last _thing I want to become is the kind of man that you are."_

_"Arthur -" his father began, but he was interrupted._

_"Wait, no. You're not a man." Arthur snapped. "You're not even worthy of the title. You're just a -"_

_"Arthur!" he yelled, interrupted his son, and the blonde's eyes shot to the floor. He jumped up from his chair, and stood in front of Arthur, his breathing becoming uneven with anger. And Arthur suddenly felt like a little boy who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "How _dare _you speak to me that way? What has gotten into you? You never come downstairs any more, never speak to me. The only person you allow in your room is Morgana and that stupid idiot of a boy that came here last night -"_

_"Don't you dare speak about him like that!" Arthur yelled, meeting his father's eyes once more. Unbeknownst to him, Morgana was leaning against the door frame just outside, listening to every word they said, and grinning. She knew Arthur cared._

_"I will speak about him however I see fit," Uther said through gritted teeth. "He's nothing more than a poor, scrawny village boy. He's _nothing, _Arthur. Not to us. He's _beneath _us, don't you see?"_

_"How can you even say that?" Arthur shouted back, suddenly becoming angrier than he had ever felt. His hands were now shaking with anger, and not fear, as he balled them into fists. "You don't even know him! You really shouldn't base your opinion of people on how much money they have, or where they come from. Merlin is a far better person, and more of a man than you'll ever be!"_

_"I doubt it." Uther scoffed, and Arthur was really fighting the urge to hit him._

_"One more word about Merlin, and I swear to God, I'll -"_

_"You'll what, leave? Go ahead! At least then I won't have to feel so ashamed anymore. Because that's all you've brought me, shame. Ever since the day you were born!" Uther yelled._

_The two men stood there in shock, neither believing what had just been said. As soon as Uther had said it, he knew he'd gone too fair. Ygraine had always said he let his temper get the better of him. But even she wouldn't have been able to forgive him this time._

_"Well I'm sorry to be such a disappointment," Arthur said in a small voice, and stormed out of the room, passing a tearful Morgana as he did so._

* * *

As Arthur sat in his room, eagerly typing to Merlin, Morgana and Gwen sat, just down the hall, discussing aforementioned boys. Morgana had since told Gwen what was going on with Arthur. She'd told her on the night she'd shown up at Gwen's house, when Merlin had gone to the bathroom. Gwen had been quite shocked, but afterwards had admitted that she thought it was quite cute. Though she still didn't approve of the way Arthur treated Merlin at school.

"Do you think he has any idea?" Gwen whispered, and Morgana looked at her, confused. "Merlin! Do you think he has any suspicions about who 'A' is?"

"Of course he'll have ideas," Morgana replied, crossing her legs, and leaning closer, to be sure they weren't heard. "But I don't think he's even taken Arthur into consideration. In his mind, when it comes to 'A', Arthur probably doesn't even come into the equation."

Gwen nodded, and then leaned forward again. "When do you think Arthur will tell him?"

"When he's ready." Morgana replied shortly, and Gwen nodded again, before asking another question. Morgana was happy to talk about it with Gwen, as she'd kept it to herself for so long. Arthur wouldn't talk about it, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to ask Merlin about it without smirking.

"Do you think Arthur . . . loves him?"

Morgana paused for a moment. She'd never really talked to Arthur about his feelings for Merlin. Every time she tried to bring it up, he just got all awkward and mumbly, and it was hard to get anything out of him. She knew he liked him, that much was obvious, but as for loving him? She had no idea. But then . . . there was the fight with Uther. It had wound Arthur up pretty badly when he'd insulted Merlin. Was it possible that the infamous, cold hearted Arthur Pendragon could be falling in love with Merlin, the small, sarcastic village boy that he'd picked on for so many years?

"You know what? I think he might."

* * *

**Well? I know it was short, but I had a few different things to get in there. Let me know what you thought, REVIEW!**


	9. Chapter Nine

**Hey guys!**

**So, the last chapter was kind of short, I know, and there wasn't a lot to it, but hopefully, this one will be better. Thanks to everybody that reviewed though, I really do appreciate it! :)**

**Also . . . this story now has over 100 reviews! Thank you so much guys! I really want to make it up to you, so if anyone has any ideas of how I can do that, please, just say so.**

**I'm also sorry for what you're about to read, not because I think it's bad or anything, it's just . . . it's unlike anything that's happened in the story so far. It's quite angsty, and has a lot of swearing, so, you have been warned! Also, about Mordred . . . he was one of my favourite characters in the show, at least, in Series 5 anyway. I know he wasn't at all like this, but I needed a villain for this fic, and . . . he was just the one that sprung to mind.**

**Just one thing I have to say before I carry on . . . there won't be any more updates of this story for a week. I'm going away with my family to the Forest of Dean, so I won't be able to update for five days. But, I'm super excited to go, as mostly every episode of Merlin had one scene that was filmed there! Anyway, I'll be writing while I'm there, so hopefully, when I get back, I'll have some stuff to upload!**

**But, enjoy, and I'll see you in a few days!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

**!TRIGGER WARNING!**

**DARK AND VIOLENT SCENES**

* * *

The next day, Merlin walked into Science class, smiling widely. He'd finally managed to get 'A' to open up to him, _and _to stand up to his father. He just hoped that, wherever he was, or whoever he was, that he was alright. Merlin didn't really know the situation that 'A' was in with his father. For all he knew, he could be violent, and 'A' could be hurt. But since he'd never really mentioned it before, Merlin chose not to think that. If anything, 'A' standing up to his father would only make their relationship better, or worse. Merlin just hoped for the latter.

But not only that, he'd earned Arthur's forgiveness. Merlin hated feeling bad, or knowing that someone was in pain because of him. He didn't like to be the cause of that, knowing what he himself had been through. He'd meant none of the things that he said, and he was glad that Arthur had finally accepted that. Clearly, the things he'd said had struck a nerve, and Merlin really hadn't meant to cause any _real _damage. Still, that was no excuse. He shouldn't have said the things that he had, and he knew that. And all he wanted now, was for Arthur to know how truly sorry he was. Because, although he'd already accepted his apology, Merlin still doubted he knew how much he really meant it.

Still, he was determined to make it up to him, no matter what it took. The only thing that still confused him, however, was how quickly he'd jumped in to defend Arthur, when he'd started beating himself up about all of it. As far as he was aware, he'd hated Arthur all through the few years that they'd known each other . . . so what changed? He'd of Arthur in that way before. As an actual human being, with feelings. He'd never thought about the person he was _inside, _instead of the cold exterior he projected to everyone else.

When he'd been saying the words, though, they just felt so . . . right. Because, to be honest, Merlin had probably been thinking that stuff for a while now. He knew deep down, that Arthur really could be a better person, if he tried. He knew that he was truly sorry for all the things he'd done to him in the past, and he knew that he was already trying to be that better person. He hadn't teased or taunted Merlin for at least a week now, and that was good for him. It was that kind of thinking that gave Merlin hope. Hope that it might finally be over. Hope that he could now finally move on with his life.

Walking over to his desk, he swung into his seat next to Arthur, and smiled at the blonde. A few weeks ago, this very gesture probably would have ended with a blow to the face for Merlin, or just a look of disgust, if it was a good day. But now, Arthur beamed back at him. It was weird to think it, but it felt _right. _Almost . . . _natural._

"Hi, Arthur," Merlin said, getting his books out of his bag, ready for the lesson. Arthur did the same, but still watched Merlin out of the corner of his eye. It had only been a few seconds, and already, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the other boy!

"Hi, Merlin," he replied, nodding at him. He hoped that he seemed casual, but even he heard the slight tentative nervousness in his voice. He covered it up with a cough, hoping Merlin hadn't noticed.

"Look, I know I already said this the other night . . ." Merlin began, but Arthur held up his hand to stop him. The stern look in his eye made Merlin close his mouth instantly. And suddenly, Arthur's confidence had returned. He didn't want Merlin apologizing again, it wasn't worth it. He'd already forgiven him, and it hadn't even been Merlin's fault in the first place. Not a single word of what he'd said had been a lie.

"Merlin, stop." Arthur said, his voice just as stern as the look in his eyes. But there was an underlying tone of thankfulness that did not go unnoticed. "You don't have to apologize anymore. It wasn't your fault, and I've already forgiven you, okay?

"Okay," Merlin sighed, looking down at the table for a second. But then, he looked as if he remembered something, and his eyes shot back up to Arthur once more. "But, I want to make it up to you somehow. I . . . I don't know how yet, but I just want you to know how _truly _sorry I am. Because . . . I don't think I've made it all that clear. I hate seeing people in pain, and knowing that I'm the cause of it is even worse. I know how I feel, or, felt, when things like that used to be said to me every day. I kept hoping that someone would come along, and help me. Or that they'd realize what they were doing to me. That it hurt, and that it was wrong. But deep down, I . . . part of me thought I deserved it. And I know that that's exactly how you're feeling right now.

And no one should ever have to feel that way. Because you didn't deserve that, Arthur. No matter what anybody tells you, you didn't deserve any of the things that I said to you. They were unfair, untrue, and unjustified. I should not have said those things, and I want you to know that it will _never _happen again. I am truly, sincerely, completely sorry, and if there's any way that I can _possibly _make it up to you, then let me know."

Arthur just sat there, shocked. People were filing into the room now, all taking their seats, getting ready for the lesson. Still, as the room buzzed with excitement, as people shouted to their friends, or laughed with their classmates, Arthur sat completely still. For a while, Merlin feared he'd gone into some sort of coma. He didn't say anything though, deciding he should probably wait a few more minutes before saying something, just in case.

Then, Arthur turned his head to the side, and shook his head, smiling to himself. It was like he had some sort of private joke that Merlin didn't know about. But he was eager to find out.

"What?" he asked, smiling. There was something about Arthur's smile that was contagious. Whenever Merlin saw it, he couldn't help but smile back. His smirk, however, was an entirely different story, and it irritated Merlin to no end. But his smile was . . . it was _real. _It was . . . it was something he couldn't fake. And it just made Merlin smile, because it was just . . . Arthur. It was the only time he let his walls down completely.

"I'll never understand you Merlin," Arthur replied, still shaking his head. And now it was Merlin's turn to look confused. "You really are an enigma."

"What do you mean?"

"Just when I think I've got you pegged, when I think I've figured you out . . . you go and change the rules completely. I always thought you were just an idiot. That you simply existed just to get on my nerves. You annoyed me . . . irritated me more than I could even explain. I never knew why, but now I do. Because I didn't _understand _you. So I beat you, and tormented you, because I didn't know what else to do. I'd never been faced with . . . someone like you before. You didn't make any _sense _to me. And then you said those things to me, and . . . it was like you understood completely. You said things that, deep down, I'd known, but didn't want to admit. Even to myself.

And you had every reason to hate me. You still do. Yet . . . you came to me . . . to _apologize. _Of all things . . . . After everything I'd done to you. Everything I said, every ounce of pain that I caused you . . . you had every right to hate me, you really did. And yet _you _were the one to apologize. After all that. It just . . . it shocked me. And it still does."

"Why?" Merlin rasped, his mouth suddenly very dry. He cleared his throat, and tried again. "Why shouldn't I forgive you?"

"Because I never even said sorry. Because I never once thought about how it might affect you. But . . . in truth, I've never met anyone like you before, Merlin. You're always so . . . selfless. You never take your own feelings into account, and you should, once in a while, you know. You shouldn't let people like me trample all over you. You want to know why you shouldn't forgive me? Because I don't deserve it."

"Arthur, don't say that." he replied, looking directly into the blonde's eyes. "No one deserves my forgiveness more."

* * *

Later that day, Merlin sat in the school canteen, with Morgana and Gwen. They were sat, at their usual table, in the back corner. They preferred to stay as far out of sight as possible. To go unnoticed. And it always worked. Merlin laughed, as he watched Morgana drink a glass of water, only to have Gwen flick the bottom slightly, causing the water to go all over the dark-haired Pendragon. She glared at Gwen, but there was no anger behind it. She tried to dap at her chest, to dry out her shirt, but to no success. Still, Gwen seemed to find it highly amusing.

As he continued to laugh, Merlin's eye was drawn to what was referred to as the "round table". This was where Arthur and his "knights" sat. It was all the way in the middle of the room, quite far from their table, but not out of Merlin's eyesight. Sat around the table, were Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Mordred, Lancelot, and of course, Arthur. There were others gathered around the table, mostly just girls that were fawning over Arthur. Merlin quickly recognized a handful of them to be Vivian, Sophia, Elena, and Mithian. But Merlin was surprised to find that Arthur was not even giving them a second glance.

Instead, his gaze was focused entirely on Merlin.

What lay behind those warm, blue eyes, this time, Merlin could not be sure. But still, he found himself unable to look away. And when his eyes met with Arthur's, Merlin felt his heart skip several beats. He suddenly felt very fidgety and nervous, and began twirling his neglected spaghetti round his fork, unsure what to do with his hands anymore. He hoped that Morgana and Gwen hadn't noticed his nervousness, but when he tuned back into their conversation, he heard Morgana continuing to complain about her ruined shirt.

He tore his eyes away from Arthur's, reluctantly, and focused back on his friends. Morgana was still trying to dry her shirt, to no success, and before Merlin had even realized what he was saying, he was offering to get her napkins.

"Thanks, Merlin," Morgana nodded, as he stood up to go and get some. He could feel Arthur's eyes watching him from across the canteen, and tried desperately not to look at him.

He made his way to the napkin dispenser slowly, thought it was all the way on the other side of the room. Merlin realized with a sigh that it would mean he'd have to walk past Arthur and his "knights". He kept his head down, and didn't look at any of them as he passed. Still, he heard them all muttering and laughing as he walked. Choosing to ignore it, he got to the napkin dispenser, and took more than was probably necessary. Well, he didn't want to go back.

Once again, Merlin kept his head down as he walked by Arthur's table. The napkins were clutched tightly in his hands, as he clenched his fists, trying not to retort to their mutterings. Still, despite having his eyes trained to the floor, he missed the quick placement of a foot in his path. Before he even knew what his him, he was on the floor, and the napkins were sprawled out all around him.

He didn't even hear the laughter coming from the nearby table, there was just a dull roaring in his ears. He picked up the napkins, clutching them in his fist again as he stood. As he was facing away from the table, he could see Morgana and Gwen looking at him with worried expressions. Obviously, his fall had not gone unnoticed, and everyone else in the canteen was also now looking at him. Morgana shook her head, her eyes pleading with him not to say anything, to just come back to the table, but Merlin just turned on his heel to face the table of laughing boys.

And to his surprise, Arthur was laughing with them.

What didn't surprise him, however, was the realization of who'd tripped him. Sat at the edge of the table, feet still sticking out casually, was Mordred. He was smirking at Merlin confidently, his hands placed behind his head. Merlin looked at the other boys. Some of them, the nicer ones, seemed to be laughing a little nervously, and some obviously hadn't realized that Merlin had tripped. They knew he was naturally clumsy, so they just thought it was all goodhearted fun. It wasn't.

But instead of looking at them, or facing Mordred, Merlin walked over to where Arthur was sat, his eyes filled with a fury that only Arthur could see.

"Are you going to say anything?" he said, between gritted teeth. He heard the laughter die down, and he hadn't meant to say it quite so loudly, but it was too late now. The whole canteen had stopped to watch the exchange.

"About what?" Arthur asked nervously, swallowing hard. But it seemed that no one, not even Merlin, detected the nervousness. Arthur noted bitterly that he really was getting better at this, hiding his true emotions.

"About your pet sheep that just tripped me," Merlin spat, not even turning, nor caring about Mordred's reaction to his description. Under any other circumstance, Arthur would have laughed, because that description fit most of his friends perfectly. But in front of them, he could do nothing except what was expected of him.

"Why should I?" Arthur replied, choosing to look at the ground, instead of at Merlin's hurt expression. He hated to see Merlin hurt, and he'd seen the tears beginning to form in the raven-haired boy's eyes. He didn't want to see Merlin cry.

"You know why," he muttered, and Arthur felt a slight tug at his heart. He heard the break in his voice, and it seemed Mordred had too, as he scoffed.

"What's he talking about, Arthur?" Mordred asked, turning back in to the table, and leaning across to talk to Arthur. The blonde felt his judgmental gaze, and the weight of the tension in the room. All eyes were now turned on him, and he desperately hoped that he didn't look as guilty as he felt, and that Morgana and Merlin could forgive him for what he was about to do.

"I have no idea," Arthur replied, more to the ground than to Mordred. Still, the smirking boy continued.

"Then why don't you tell him that?" Mordred replied, leaning back in his chair, and placing his hands behind his head again.

Whilst everyone on the outside thought that Arthur was the leader of the group, the knights themselves knew that it was really Mordred. It wasn't that he was the tallest, the most powerful, or even the strongest. He just had a lot more bad in his heart than the rest of them. He could be extremely scary and manipulative at times, and the other knights feared him more than they could even express. He was the kind of person that nobody wanted to be on the wrong side of, and that was the main reason why most of them were friends with him in the first place.

And if it wasn't for Mordred, most of them probably wouldn't have even ever _considered _half the things he'd made them do. Like bullying Merlin. It was certainly something none of them had wanted to do at first, but they'd almost had no choice. Mordred knew people. He had gangs outside of school. _Real _gangs. The kind that wandered alleyways at night time. The kind that carried knives, or guns. So they did it, because they felt they had to. And most of them felt terrible about it. But Mordred seemed to enjoy it. He _enjoyed _the pain of others.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Arthur muttered, again, not meeting Merlin's eyes. Still, it was obvious that Merlin had not noticed the blackmail and tyranny taking over Arthur's social circle, as he took in a few deep breaths.

Arthur forced himself to look at Merlin, and felt his heart break. Tears were now streaming down his face, and his hands were shaking. The sounds of his "friends" laughter was drowned out by the sound of Merlin's ragged breathing, and Arthur's racing heartbeat. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to apologize, or something. But then he remembered where he was, and who he was with, and closed his mouth immediately.

"I never knew you were such a dick," Merlin muttered, and the occupants of the table gasped, before starting another chorus of laughter. And Arthur sat, watching helplessly, as Merlin stormed out of the canteen.

* * *

Watching Merlin disappear through the crowds of people, Arthur finally came to his senses, and realized what he'd done. When he'd said those things, it's like it'd been almost automatically. He hadn't even realized what he'd been saying. That was, until he saw Merlin's tears. After everything they'd been through in the past few days, everything they'd shared, Arthur had gone and screwed it all up in the space of five minutes. Merlin had been in pain, he'd needed some _help, _someone to stick up for him, and Arthur had just sat there.

Merlin had needed someone to save him, someone to step in, to be the hero, and to save the day. And he'd expected Arthur to be that person. What he didn't know, though, was how much Arthur _wanted _to be that person. He wanted to be that person to rescue Merlin. He wanted to be the hero, the knight in shining armour . . . whatever. He just wanted to be whatever Merlin _needed _him to be. And he hadn't been.

When Merlin had needed him to be there for him, had needed his _help, _even _asked _for it, Arthur had let him down. He hadn't been able to live up to his expectations. Because he wasn't a hero. He wasn't one of the good guys, not really, no matter how hard he tried. He would always be tainted by darkness. He would always do the wrong thing. He wasn't Merlin's knight in shining armour, he wasn't his saviour. He wasn't the person whose arms Merlin could cry in, couldn't be his sanctuary to run to.

But he _wanted _to be.

Arthur stood up from his chair, and thanked the Lord that the rest of the canteen had gone back to their earlier activities. The show was over for them, but Arthur had yet to understand his part. Whether he was to be the dashing hero, or the hated villain. It was up to him now, and Arthur knew what he had to do. He glanced around the table at the people he'd once called friends, but the events of the past few minutes had caused him to doubt that title now. In some of their eyes, he saw understanding. In others, he just saw blank confusion, and arrogance.

"I . . . I have to go . . . " he mumbled, and some of them understood, and nodded. Others, like Mordred, for example, seemed to get the entirely wrong idea. Obviously, instead of him going to comfort Merlin, they thought he was going to beat him up. Or "finish him off", was probably the way that they would have put it.

"Give him a good blow from me!" Mordred shouted behind him, as Arthur turned to walk away, and he grinned, at the sound of someone's hand colliding with Mordred's head.

"What the fuck, Mordred?" he heard Percival say, and Arthur guessed that he was probably the one that'd hit Mordred. It wasn't often that one of them stood up to Mordred, but Percival was usually the one to do so, when Mordred had gone too far. And Arthur made a note to tell him later that it was not unappreciated. "You've had your fun, now shut up."

When he was sure he could no longer be seen, Arthur broke into a slight jog, desperate to catch up with Merlin. He made it out of the canteen, and down the hallway, before breaking into a full-on run. He ran as fast as his legs could carry them, and even when it felt like they were about to give way, he carried on. He _had _to find Merlin.

Still, the hallways seemed too quiet, and Merlin was nowhere to be found. But that didn't stop Arthur. He looked around every corner, and in every door. And as he ran, he felt like every footstep was imprinting Merlin's words further and further into his mind. He'd _just _managed to make Merlin forgive him for everything that he'd done in the past, and he knew it had been hard for him to accept his apology. And then, he'd just gone back to doing exactly what he'd had to apologize for in the first place. Arthur just hoped Merlin was one for giving second chances.

Because, even though he knew he didn't deserve Merlin's forgiveness . . . he almost felt like he _needed _it. Having Merlin in his life, it just felt . . . _right _somehow. Even if Merlin still had no idea of the true extent of their friendship, Arthur had hoped to have the same relationship with Merlin in real life, that he had as 'A'. Now, all his hopes of that were gone, unless he could find Merlin and apologize. But he'd have to make some pretty serious promises.

He knew he couldn't carry on doing what he'd just done, and be friends with Merlin at the same time. He'd have to ditch Mordred, and tell all of his other friends to leave Merlin alone. But that was something he was more than willing to do, if it meant he could be closer to Merlin. Because that was all he'd wanted from the beginning, was to be closer to Merlin, to get to know him better, to _understand _him. Still, Arthur was no closer to understanding Merlin than he was to finding him.

As he came round another corner, and realizing he was right back where he started, outside the canteen, he realized that he wasn't going to find him. He sighed in frustration, and kicked over one of the Healthy Eating signs to his right, muttering to himself. His hands flew up to his hair, and he shook his head.

_"Shit."_

* * *

After school, Merlin clutched some more books to his chest, as he walked towards the school gates. He'd been avoiding Morgana and Gwen since Lunch, and just hoped that he could get out of school before they saw him. He didn't want any of their questions. He knew that they meant well, but sometimes, when he was hurting, he just needed to be by himself. And this was one of those times. He didn't want to have to explain the whole thing with Arthur, when he couldn't even explain it himself. It wasn't as if he hadn't been expecting it. He'd always known how extremely unlikely it was that they could ever be friends.

Still, it hurt that Arthur didn't stand up for him, especially after everything he'd said that morning. But he couldn't explain exactly _why _it hurt him. He didn't care about Arthur, he was just a heartless bully, who obviously didn't care about Merlin either. No, he didn't care about Arthur . . . did he?

Merlin's thoughts were interrupted, by a hand pulling him by the shirt, into an empty classroom. The gesture was rough, and Merlin knew what he was in for, before he even had time to turn and identify his attacker. And when he did, he wasn't at all surprised to find that it was Mordred.

Pain shot up his spine, as Mordred threw him against the wall, keeping his hands fisted in Merlin's shirt. Merlin was several feet taller than Mordred, but a lot skinnier. He knew that Mordred could take him apart with one blow. There was no point in fighting back, or resisting. So he didn't. He could see the anger in Mordred's eyes, though he'd never be able to understand where it came from. He could feel the other boy's breath on his face, he was that close. Their noses were almost touching, and the close proximity sent chilling shivers down Merlin's spine.

Mordred was like a ticking time bomb; obviously dangerous and deadly, except you never knew when he was going to go off.

"I know what that was about, you know," Mordred spat, and Merlin tried to shrink as far back into the wall as he could. "In the canteen, I know what's going on with you and Arthur."

"You . . . . you do?" Merlin mumbled, confused. How could he _possibly _know that?

"You like him," Mordred replied, sneering at the taller boy. "I can see it, the way you look at him. How you're always _watching _him, and _smiling _at him. You're obsessed, Merlin, it's not _healthy. _You're obsessed with someone who couldn't care less about you, don't you see how _sick _that is? He's not interested! I hate to break it to you Merlin, but he likes girls. And even if he didn't, he'd probably just use you for a one night-stand, if he thinks you're even worth that. Personally, I don't think you are. He'd never be interested in someone like _you. _You . . . are nothing."

Merlin closed his eyes. He could _feel _Mordred's breath on his cheek and his slow, calm heartbeat against his chest. He just hoped that the other boy couldn't sense how scared he was. Because once Mordred knew you were scared, he played on it, and found a way to make it even worse. He loved to be feared, to feel like he was superior. And Merlin didn't want to give him that satisfaction. Still, he knew what Mordred was capable of. He'd seen it before, and it was definitely something to be scared of.

"Stop wasting your time Merlin, I'm only trying help you out here." he continued, and Merlin tried desperately to slow his breathing, but to no success. But it seemed that Mordred wasn't feeling in the mood for violence today. Otherwise, he would have hit Merlin already. It seemed he just wanted to get inside his head instead, and it was working. "And I'm only telling you what you already know to be true. Why would someone like _Arthur, _popular, smart, rich, powerful, he could have anything, and _anyone _he wanted . . . be interested in someone like you? He doesn't even notice your existence unless he needs someone to take his anger out on, much like the rest of us, really.

Because you make it too _easy. _You don't even try to fight back anymore, it used to be so much more _fun. _Not that I'm done trying, because don't you worry, Emrys, I've gotten _so _much better at this, you have no idea what I've got planned for you."

And with that, Mordred let go of Merlin, and he took a step back. Merlin attempted to move away from the wall, only to have Mordred slam him back into it again. He held his arm against Merlin's throat, and used his other hand to point at him.

"Mention this to anyone, and you'll pay a handsome price," he said through gritted teeth, and used his finger to stroke along Merlin's jaw. Merlin shuddered, as he remembered the scars that Mordred had once covered it with. "But I'm sure you remembered that from the last time?"

Merlin nodded, and swallowed hard. Mordred stepped back again, holding up his hands in a mock surrender. Merlin kept his back against the wall this time, too scared to move. Mordred pointed at him again, this time slightly less threatening, as a smirk covered his face.

"I'll be seeing you," he said, laughing loudly, before stepping out of the room, leaving Merlin to himself.

Breathing raggedly, Merlin let himself slide down the wall, and brought his knees up to his chest. His hands flew up to his hair, unknowingly perfectly mirroring the action that Arthur had done earlier. Tears slid down his cheeks once more, but less rapidly this time. He felt cold, and violated. He felt like he wanted to tear his hair out, or scratch at his skin until it was raw. He wanted to run to the rooftop, and scream at the world far below. He wanted to punch something until his knuckles bled. He wanted to . . . he just wanted it all to stop. The pain, he just wanted it to stop. But deep down, he knew . . . .

It was only just beginning.

* * *

**Well? I'm sorry, I really am, but . . . let me know what you thought? Review!**


	10. Chapter Ten

**Hey guys!**

**So, I know the story's getting kind of heavy now, and I can only apologize, because it's not quite over yet. Don't worry though, we all know that sooner or later, Arthur will be Merlin's knight in shining armour and save him from evil Mordred.**

**Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, so enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

**!TRIGGER WARNING! **

**DARK AND VIOLENT SCENES**

* * *

Merlin walked to school, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. It had been a week since the incident in the canteen, and a week since Mordred had started tormenting him again. It had also been a week, since the last time he'd spoken to any of his friends. He knew he shouldn't distance them the way he was, but it was like an instinct. He didn't like other people having to share in his pain. It was his to deal with, and his alone. Morgana and Gwen had tried to help, of course, but it was almost too easy for Merlin to deny their comfort. So eventually, having no idea what was wrong with him, they'd just given up, because there wasn't much more that they could do, if Merlin wasn't going to tell them anything. Any time they tried to start a conversation with him, he'd just stare blankly ahead, until they left.

Arthur had not been as easy to ignore, though Merlin wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if they'd ever really been close or anything. The first thing Arthur had said to him when he'd walked into Science on Friday, had been an apology, but Merlin hadn't said anything. It wasn't that he was angry at Arthur, or that he couldn't forgive him, because he could. He completely understood what'd happened on Thursday in the canteen, and perhaps that was the problem. He could understand why Arthur wouldn't stand up for him, for someone _like _him. Arthur was one of the most popular boys in school, and Merlin was nothing more than dirt under his shoe. He understood completely.

Most of Merlin's days in the past week had been spent in numb loneliness. He would go to school, sit in his classes, waiting for his lessons to be over. He would speak to no one, and no one would speak to him. The only conversations he had were with Mordred, and they tended not to last very long. Just long enough to push Merlin further onto the brink of something . . . though he didn't know what. At lunch, he would sit by himself, as far into the corner as he could get. He wouldn't look at the others around him, living their happy lives, instead, he would stare out of the window, and he would think of nothing in particular. More, of trivial things. Unimportant and small things. To take his mind off of everything.

He would walk home alone, provided Mordred didn't get to him first, and he would go straight up to his room when he got there. And then, he would throw himself onto his bed, where he would lie, for hours on end, staring up at the ceiling. The only time he rose was when Gaius called him down for dinner. Merlin could tell the older man was worried about him, but if he wasn't going to talk about it, then he had a feeling that Gaius wouldn't either. He wouldn't go anywhere near his laptop, completely unaware of the messages stocking up on his AskMe account, asking what was wrong.

He wasn't even talking to Alice anymore. He'd stopped getting books from her, and didn't step one foot into the library, which even Merlin himself found strange. Usually, when he was feeling the way he was, the library would be his sanctuary, a safe place that he could get away from it all. But now, he just didn't see the point.

Suddenly, a hand was in his shirt, pulling him into a darkened alleyway. Merlin was hardly even surprised, and it took him less than a second to identify who his attacker was. He winced, as he was pinned against a cold, steel fence, and he felt it digging into his back. And when he opened his eyes, he found himself staring into the equally cold eyes of Mordred.

"You know, you're not looking so good, Merlin," Mordred began, and Merlin didn't say anything, because he'd learned by this point that Mordred only got worse when he replied. It was far better to just stand there and take it. He deserved it, after all. After everything he'd said to Arthur, and after everything that'd happened with Will. "Where's your precious Arthur now? He's not coming to save you, Merlin. And do you want to know why? Because he doesn't _care. _He doesn't care about you, no matter what you might have deluded yourself into believing. Look around! He's not here, is he? He hasn't asked about you, and I doubt he'd even notice if you weren't to come into school today . . ."

Merlin caught the sinister look in Mordred's eye, and for a split second, he wondered if that last bit had been a threat. But surely . . . no. Mordred had done some terrible things to Merlin, but he would never go that far, at least, he never had before. Then again, Merlin wouldn't really be surprised. He knew of Mordred's reputation outside school, and had heard of the terrible things he'd done, the fights he'd been involved in. It wouldn't be completely beyond him to take his torment of Merlin one step further.

"But that would be too easy!" Mordred laughed, and Merlin felt himself sigh with relief, though he knew the worst was still yet to come. "We wouldn't want the fun to be over that _soon, _now, would we? I've had fun, this past week, and for it to be over so soon, we were just getting to know each other again! Though I'm sure you haven't forgotten the last time, now have you? I like to think I leave _some_ kind of an impression on people . . ."

Merlin still refused to say anything. Mordred liked to talk, and usually, if Merlin didn't reply, Mordred would eventually run out of things to say, and leave. So he just stood there, and took it most of the time. He'd had to live with Mordred tormenting him for long enough now, he knew how it worked. But, there was something different this time. Mordred was being a lot more personal about it this time, and a lot more vicious.

"Well? _SAY SOMETHING!"_ Mordred yelled, making his point by slamming his fist into the fence behind Merlin. Merlin winced again, trying to pull himself as far away from Mordred as he could, squirming against the fence, but to no success. Mordred kept his fist at Merlin's side, and his other hand fisted in his shirt, and Merlin knew that there was no getting away. Still, he didn't want to give Mordred the satisfaction. He thought that's what it was, thought he was being strong, by not bending to his will, but the truth was, that Merlin was trembling with so much fear that he didn't think he _could _speak even if he tried.

"Merlin, I'm _not _going to ask again," Mordred spat, and Merlin could feel his whole body shaking, no matter how much he tried to calm his nerves. He'd thought that he knew exactly what Mordred was capable of, thought he knew him, but this time had already been so much worse, and Mordred hadn't shown any signs of stopping anytime soon. And the truth was, Merlin really didn't know how far he was going to take it this time. Mordred's words from the week before were being chanted in his mind like a sick mantra; _"You have no idea what I've got planned for you."._

"Oh, I see . . . ." he continued, tilting his head to the side, a thoughtful look crossing his face. "You think that if you don't say anything, that I'll eventually stop, and leave you alone. Nice try, Emrys, but all you've done now, is show me how much I'm getting under your skin. Don't worry though, we're nowhere near done here. In _fact," _Merlin began to squirm again, when he say Mordred fumbling in his pocket for something. He pulled it out of his pocket, holding it up triumphantly, and Merlin gasped at the pocket knife in Mordred's hand. "Let's take it up a notch, shall we?"

Mordred hadn't been lying, Merlin really hadn't expected _this. _Normally, Mordred simply tormented Merlin, occasionally shoving him a little, but never anything serious. He mostly liked to stick to psychological torment, getting into Merlin's head, and Merlin had to admit, he was surprisingly good at that. Obviously though, Mordred had really thought it through this time. And Merlin really had no idea what to expect anymore, which scared him more than anything. Because if Mordred was willing to pull a knife on him, then there was no telling how far he'd take it this time.

"I'm just trying to _help _you, Merlin," he continued, his voice turning scarily soft, as he ran the blunt end of the knife along Merlin's pale neck. "You're not well, and you need to realize that pining after Arthur isn't healthy. He's _never_ going to be interested in you, when are you going to get that into your _thick _head? It's sick, your obsession with him. I see you, watching him, I know how you feel about him, even if you won't admit it. And it freaks him out, Merlin, he's just too polite to say so. You just . . . you need to _learn."_

Mordred made sure to put extra emphasis on the word "learn", by quickly turning the knife around, and slashing Merlin's neck. The taller boy winced again, kicking out, but Mordred held him still, he was surprisingly strong for someone of his height and build, and fighting back was pointless. He barely even felt the sharp sting of the knife the second time, and didn't even react. Mordred had obviously already grown bored of that particular activity, and brought the knife up to Merlin's cheek. That was when Merlin really started to squirm.

He thought he deserved Mordred's torture, that, somehow, he'd been asking for it. Maybe he'd done something, said something that he shouldn't have, or done something to anger Mordred in some way? Maybe he'd been "flaunting his sexuality", or something? Maybe he'd somehow made Mordred uncomfortable? It was his own fault that he was treated like this, it had to be. To think that Mordred did it for no reason at all didn't make any sense.

He wasn't going to tell anyone about what Mordred did to him, he was too embarrassed for other people to find out. So he would let Mordred hurt him, just not in places that people could see. Most of Merlin's pain inflicted by Mordred was internal, so it was easy to hide. But now Mordred was trying to mark him in places that people would actually _see. _There would be no hiding a giant gash on the side of his face, Merlin knew that.

Still, it wasn't like he could stop him. Once Mordred had an idea, he followed through on it, and there was no stopping him them. He held the blade to Merlin's cheek, and slid it down the pale skin slowly, applying just a little pressure. The cut it produced was thin, and shallow, but it was still noticeable. Luckily for Merlin, he wasn't bleeding that much, and it wouldn't take long to clean the cuts. That was no comfort to him, though, as he was finally beginning to feel the sting of the open wounds.

"I just want to remind you, Merlin," Mordred said, taking one step back from Merlin, and calmly wiping the bloodied knife on his blazer. He flicked it again, and put it back in his pocket, straightening his clothes. "I just wanted to remind you, of who you really are. And now, every time you look into a mirror, you'll see those scars, and you'll remember. Because I fear you're in danger of forgetting your place in this world. You are _not _equal to us, do you understand me? Not to me, not to Arthur, none of us. And while Arthur allows you to talk to him now, allows you to delude yourself into thinking that you've got even the _smallest _chance with him, you can't, and you don't. Okay? Because you're not like us. You're not popular, you're not rich, and you're certainly not attractive, especially now you've got those ugly scars.

Do you understand now? Do you see? Arthur's not interested, and eventually, he'll drop you on your head, and you'll realize that I was right. He's playing a game with you, because that's what he _does, _he plays _games. _He gets inside people's heads, people like you, and lets them believe that he's interested in them. He makes them believe that there might finally be hope for them, like they have a chance to be something else, to rise up from their status. But that's all it is, a game. And it will never be anything more.

You're nothing, worthless. And I can't understand how Morgana can stand to be near you. Someone of her standing, being friends with someone like you, it doesn't make any sense. But then again, I guess she always was a little messed up. And _Gwen, _well, I guess Morgana just wants to look after the needy and desperate -"

"You can talk about me however you want, I don't care," Merlin said sternly, taking a threatening step towards Mordred, and trying to look as tall as possible. He knew the cuts were now beginning to bleed, but resolved to clean them when Mordred had left. He didn't want to appear weak, although it was a little too late for that now. "But if you _ever _talk about my friends like that again, I'll -"

"You'll what?" Mordred laughed bitterly, closing the space between him and Merlin, and looking up at him menacingly. And Merlin honestly didn't know what he'd been thinking. He'd just become so overcome with anger, but now he knew it had been a mistake, and Mordred was going to make him pay. "I think you misunderstand who's in charge here, Merlin. I've tried to explain, but clearly, you're just not getting it. Maybe this will get through to you . . ."

And before Merlin even knew that was going on, he felt Mordred's fist collide with his face. The blow sent him tumbling to the ground in a crumbled heap, and Merlin kept his eyes glued to the floor. His cheek was now stinging even more than before, as it was on the same side as the cut from Mordred's knife. It was going to be hard to draw attention away from _that. _Not that he was talking to anyone anyway, so it didn't really matter. Plus, half the school probably wouldn't notice if he was on _fire._

"Do you _understand _now?" Mordred emphasized the word "understand", with a sharp kick to Merlin's side, causing him to curl his body in pain.

The pale boy on the floor nodded slowly, and Mordred grinned, wiping down his clothes, before strolling out of the alleyway, as if nothing had happened. Merlin wiped the blood off of his face with the back of his hand, and hoped and prayed that he could just get to school without being stopped by anyone.

* * *

A few hours later, Merlin walked into Science. He tried to ignore the gasps at his colourful bruises, and made his way to his seat, where Arthur was already waiting for him. He flung his bag down in silence, and started pulling out his books. Arthur now knew that Merlin didn't want to talk to anyone, but he was getting worried, and when he saw Merlin turn to look out of the window, his voice caught in his throat.

There was a long, thin cut down the side of Merlin's face, and all around it were dark, quite intense bruises. Merlin quickly looked away when he noticed Arthur's eyes widen, and winced, as he'd tried to turn too quickly, and his side was still hurting. Arthur noticed the wince and the hand that flew to his bruised side. Something was definitely wrong with Merlin. He'd suspected it the past week, but he'd thought it was just about what had happened in the canteen, and that Merlin was angry at him. But it was becoming clear now that it was more than that. Someone was hurting Merlin, and Arthur was going to find out who.

And as Merlin loosened his tie, Arthur suddenly felt a flash of powerful anger, as he saw more cuts dashed around Merlin's scrawny neck. These were a little deeper, but obviously, the person who'd done it, had known _exactly _what he was doing, as he'd avoided all of Merlin's major arteries. Arthur wasn't sure whether that made him angrier or not. Because, clearly, the person had wanted to cause Merlin as much pain as possible, but not kill him. It was more an act of torture than anything else, so they'd obviously done it before.

"Merlin, who did this to you?" Arthur asked, concern in his eyes. Usually, Merlin would have ignored him, but this was different. He rubbed his neck self-consciously, and pulled his tie back up. Still, he didn't look at Arthur. He feared that if he looked back into those kind, comforting blue eyes, that he might break. And he couldn't let that happen, he _wouldn't _let that happen. Arthur didn't really care about him, it was all just a game. _Just a game._

"It's nothing, Arthur." he muttered, and realized with surprise, that those were the first words he'd uttered to Arthur in weeks. He doubted the blonde had noticed the difference.

"_That, _is not nothing," Arthur replied sternly, pointing to Merlin's neck. He'd managed to clean the cuts, and make them slightly less raw-looking, but they were no less noticeable, and no less intense.

"I fell, okay?" Merlin lied, and he could tell that Arthur didn't believe him. Hell, he wouldn't even believe it himself if he'd been told the same thing. It might have explained the bruising on his face, but the cuts were clearly from a knife, nothing else.

Merlin felt his breathing hitch, as Arthur cupped his face in his hand. He guided Merlin's face to look at him, and Merlin was so close to breaking, when he saw the earnest look in Arthur's eyes. He wanted nothing more than to break down and cry, as Arthur held him. He'd tell him that it was all going to be okay, and that Mordred had been wrong. In a perfect world, that's what would happen. But Merlin was already fully aware that he didn't live in a perfect world.

"Merlin,_ please_, I-" Arthur began, and Merlin desperately tried to ignore the break in his voice. Shaking his head, he pulled away from Arthur's comforting touch. His heart sunk at the loss of contact, but he continued to stare straight ahead, waiting for the lesson to start.

"Leave it, please."

* * *

"I'm telling you, Morgana, I'm really worried about him," Arthur said, holding his phone to his ear as he casually walked out of school. The school day had just ended, and Arthur was making his way home, on the phone to his sister. As soon as the bell had gone, he'd told Morgana about Merlin's cuts and bruises, as, instead of being in Science class, she'd been off in a secluded hallway, doing unspeakable things with Leon. And she'd been just as shocked as he was.

"So am I, Arthur, but I don't know what else we can do. I've never seen it this bad before."

"You mean this has happened before?" Arthur asked, getting out of the gates, and leaning against it. He was waiting for Morgana to get out of school, so they could walk back together.

"A couple of times. He'd stop talking to us for a few days, and completely shut off, and then he'd be back. But he's never explained it to us. Gwen thinks that someone's tormenting him, and to be honest, after what you've just told me, I agree with her."

"So do I, but we have to do _something. _I can't just sit and watch him suffer like this," Arthur sighed, and he could practically _hear _Morgana's smile through the phone. "What?"

"You really do care about him, don't you? I mean, I always knew you cared, but . . . he means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

"Yes, yes he does," Arthur replied, and Morgana could hear the sincerity in his voice, and knew that he wasn't lying. She was glad though, because there was no one more deserving of Merlin than Arthur, and vice-versa. "So now you see, why I can't just stand by and not do anything. I know I haven't exactly been that . . . involved with him before, but I want to help _now. _I'm tired of being someone that I'm not, if these are the consequences. I need to start thinking about other people, and I realize that now. I'm sorry."

"Arthur . . . you were never a bad person, you know that. Yes, you made some bad choices, but deep down, I know you still cared. The person you pretended to be just wasn't you, and I never lost sight of that fact, I never stopped believing in you. You just didn't stand up, that's all I ever wanted you to do. To just stand up for what you believe, and what _you _wanted."

"I know, I should have tried harder, I just . . . " Arthur's voice trailed off, as he saw Merlin come out of school. His cuts and bruises looked even worse in daylight, a startling comparison to his pale and pasty skin. He made his way towards the gate that Arthur stood outside, and the blonde tried to keep his voice low. "Morgana, I have to go, Merlin's coming, and I want to see if I can sort this out once and for all. Will you be alright by yourself?"

"I'll be fine, Leon was going to walk with me anyway," Arthur rolled his eyes, "But what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to follow him, see if I can find out who it is that's been doing this to him," Arthur replied, keeping his eyes on the ground, as Merlin walked past. The other boy didn't even glance at him, and carried on walking. Arthur waited about a minute, before walking after Merlin.

"Okay, just . . . be careful?"

"Oh, you know me Morgana, I'm -"

"Yes, I do know you, Arthur Pendragon. That's the problem."

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**Well? Let me know what you thought, please? REVIEW! :D**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Hey guys!**

**So, once again, I realize the last chapter was quite heavy. But, as you've probably guessed, Arthur's about to find out, and you know he'll have something to say about it! Hopefully, this chapter won't be as bad, and it will get better for Merlin, I promise. I just wanted to make it clear about his past, and the stuff that he gets put through. I was going to make it homophobic bullying, but I couldn't bear to write it.**

**I tried to write this chapter a couple of times, and changed it quite a lot. I'm still not that happy with the second half of it, but I hope you guys like it anyway.**

**Guest - "Why didn't Merlin talk to 'A' while he was depressed?"**

**I think just because Merlin likes to keep his troubles to himself, he doesn't like to bother other people with them. He could've talked to quite a few people, to Gwaine, Morgana, Gwen, Gaius, or 'A', but he didn't. I think Merlin from the show was a bit like that as well, he kept a lot of things to himself.**

**One more thing, this story will _definitely _be 20 chapters. I have it all planned out now, and I'm probably not going to make any changes now. So, nine chapters left, everyone!**

**Anyway, I won't keep you any longer!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**A bit of language in this chapter, so I have to warn you, just in case.**

* * *

**!TRIGGER WARNING!**

**DARK AND VIOLENT SCENES**

* * *

For a while, Arthur thought that nothing was going to happen. He thought he'd missed his opportunity, and that Merlin's attacker was never going to reveal himself, at least not tonight. He didn't know whether to be relieved, or disappointed. But then, by some stroke of luck, or, misfortune, in Merlin's case, Arthur saw him turn into an alleyway, as he suddenly spotted someone. Arthur knew that this wasn't Merlin's route home, so he followed him. How he knew that, he wasn't sure, but he didn't really want to think about that right now. He hung a bit behind Merlin, and saw him walk over to a figure with his back to both of them, and stopped in his tracks, hiding behind a bush. He wasn't going to reveal himself just yet.

When the person turned, Arthur couldn't say he was surprised to see that it was Mordred. Mordred was always so much harder on Merlin than the rest of them, and Arthur was almost disappointed in himself for not thinking of that sooner. It made perfect sense, and he almost felt as if he'd let Merlin down somehow, especially after what'd happened in the canteen. But Arthur knew, for certain, that after today, Mordred wouldn't be bothering Merlin anymore. Ever. He'd make sure of that.

He watched, as Merlin took a few steps back, Mordred pushing him against the fence. Arthur felt his hands clenching into fists, but still, he held himself back, listening to every word the bastard was saying. He knew, when the timing was right, he'd step out, and confront Mordred, but he wanted to know exactly _what _he'd been doing or saying to Merlin. He'd never seen the sarcastic village boy so . . . broken, and he wanted to make Mordred pay for what he'd done to him.

"You didn't tell anyone, did you?" Mordred asked, and Merlin shook his head quickly, trembling with fear. Arthur may have been stood a distance away, but even he could see Merlin shaking. "Good, because if you _did . . . . _well, I don't have to tell you do I? You already know. If you tell anyone, I'll just find new ways to get to you. Much more . . . _inventive _ways. And believe you me, what happened this morning, was just the tip of the iceberg. So if you step even a _toe _out of line, well . . . . am I making myself clear?"

"Y-yes . . ." Merlin managed to get out, and Arthur could swear he felt his heart break at the tone of Merlin's voice. He sounded so helpless, so choked, so . . . lost, and alone. It only increased Arthur's anger, not only at Mordred, but at himself. For almost a week now, Merlin had been put through terrible suffering, and Arthur had done nothing about it. He knew it was stupid to blame himself, as he hadn't known, but he could have tried harder. "No one can know, and . . . no one will, I . . . I swear."

"And no one saw the cuts? You made excuses for the bruising on your face, I'm sure . . ." Mordred asked, and trailed off, when he felt Merlin squirm. He could tell, by the way that he was reacting to his words, that someone had found out. Or, at least noticed. Merlin was no longer willing to look him in the eye, and Mordred began to clench his fist that wasn't now in Merlin's shirt. "There's something you're not telling me, Emrys, what is it?"

"I . . . I didn't mean . . . . I tried, to hide it, I swear, I did . . ." Merlin began, and Arthur knew exactly what he was talking about. _He'd _noticed, him, Arthur. And now Merlin was going to get beaten up for it. He didn't like to think that it was his fault, but, in a way, it was, even if not intentionally. "It . . . it was Arthur. He asked about my face, but . . . I told him . . . . I told him that I fell, but . . . he . . . he didn't believe me. But then, he . . . he saw my neck, when I was adjusting my tie, and . . . well, there was nothing I could say about it . . . I . . . I told him it was nothing, but . . . I don't think he's going to let it go."

"You really are _pathetic, _Merlin!" Mordred laughed bitterly, pushing himself away from Merlin, and pacing. _Now _Merlin looked scared. There was a manic look on Mordred's face that struck fear into even Arthur's heart. "You . . . you _honestly _think that he cares? What, do you think he's not going to _sleep, _until he finds out what's been done to you? He's probably laughing about it right now. I bet he's _glad _I've done this, saved him the job, as it were."

"You're wrong, he's . . . he's not like that," Merlin muttered, not really sure where the words had come from, but instantly regretting them.

"Merlin, we've already been _over _this!" he continued, throwing his hands up in the air. "He _doesn't care. _Especially not about _you . . . ._ and he never will. Do we have to go through that lesson again? Because, honestly, I'm ready to move on. I only hope that our time together won't be cut short, not like . . . last time. I'm sure you remember how _that _ended? Last year?"

"I . . . I tried to kill myself," Merlin replied, as if in a sort of daze, and Arthur was taken aback. He'd never known about any of this, least of all that Mordred had done this to Merlin _before._

When Arthur thought about it though, he distinctly remembered Merlin being in hospital for some weeks last year. He'd worried, of course he had, but Morgana had told him it was nothing serious. Deep down though, he'd known that it was. He'd heard Morgana crying in her room the night Merlin was taken in to hospital, and had known something was wrong. Still, he'd let himself be lied to. Because, at the time, Merlin hadn't meant much to him. He was his sister's friend, and someone he occasionally picked on, nothing more. And when he saw Merlin at the house a few weeks later, hugging Morgana and Gwen, he couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of relief that he was okay. He'd had no idea how bad it had been.

"Yes, you did," Mordred replied, stopping his pacing, and standing directly in front of Merlin. He was so close, that their shoes were touching, and Arthur clenched his fists again. If Mordred took even one step closer . . . "Well maybe next time, you should try _harder."_

That was it for Arthur, and he could no longer control his anger. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was right in front of Mordred, and hit him as hard as he could, sending the smaller boy crashing to the floor. Once Mordred was a crumpled heap on the floor, Arthur took a few seconds to look over to Merlin, and the expression on his face hit him like a ton of bricks. There were tears in his eyes, but Arthur was surprised to see slight appreciation and thankfulness that he'd been saved.

Before he could stop himself, Arthur took a step towards Merlin, and placed a hand on his cheek. He carefully traced along the cut on his cheek with his thumb, and wiped the tears from his eyes. He never wanted to see Merlin cry again, it was too heart-breaking. Still, it seemed the reason for Merlin's tears wasn't quite finished yet, and Arthur groaned, as Mordred dealt a sickening blow to his stomach. He whirled around and . . .

* * *

What happened after that, Arthur wasn't entirely sure. He remembered hitting Mordred a few times, and Mordred fighting back, but after that, he kind of blacked out. The next thing he knew, Mordred was on the floor again, with what appeared to be a broken arm, and Arthur was stood over him. Looking down, Arthur realized he had bruised knuckles, so he must have punched Mordred pretty hard. Still, Mordred must have put up a good fight, because Arthur's knees were beginning to feel weak. But he held his ground, at least while he was still within Mordred's eyesight.

"If you _ever _touch him again," Arthur spat, leaning over Mordred. "You don't even want to know what I'll do to you. My father will deal with you from now on, because I don't even think I can bear to _look _at you anymore. What you have done to Merlin is disgusting, and you _will _pay. My father will expel you, and the police will deal with you from then on. Don't come near me, or Merlin again, because next time, you might not be so lucky."

Mordred scoffed, but he looked slightly less threatening when he was unable to get up. Arthur gestured for Merlin to follow him out of the alleyway, and Merlin was more than happy to oblige. Leaving Mordred behind, they made it out of the alleyway, before Arthur's legs gave way. He would have fallen straight to the floor, had it not been for Merlin. Somehow, he'd anticipated Arthur falling, and grabbed the blonde by the waist, holding him up.

"Thanks," Arthur whispered, smiling up at Merlin, as he led him to a bench across the street.

Arthur sat down with a sigh, the pain of his injuries finally kicking in. He'd completely underestimated Mordred's strength, as he'd never really seen him been so . . . violent before, or so twisted. He knew about Mordred's past, and about the gangs he was part of outside school. When he'd first met Mordred, Arthur had just though he'd fallen in with the wrong crowd. He'd thought his behaviour could be corrected, that he could _change. _Arthur always tried to look for the best in people. But it seemed, when it came to Mordred, he'd been wrong.

It had started to become evident, over the last year, that he'd been wrong. But, by then of course, it had been too late. Mordred had already taken control of the group, and had them doing his bidding, with most of them not even realizing they were doing it. Mordred had ways of manipulating people, ways of getting inside your head, that even Arthur couldn't understand. It had been his idea to bully Merlin in the first place. Because he was _weak, _because he was _alone. _That just showed how little of a man he was, that he had to pick on the weak, and innocent. Rather than, for lack of a better phrase, pick on someone his own size.

It was clear to Arthur now of course, who Mordred really was. He was dark, and twisted. He was a dictator, and a bully, and Arthur couldn't believe how long it had taken him to realize it. He'd treated Mordred as a _friend. _As someone he could _trust. _And yet, all this time, he'd been terrorizing Merlin, to the point where he'd tried to _kill _himself. Mordred was sick. He was a sick, twisted human being, who was going to pay for what he'd done. Arthur had no doubt that once the Police got involved, they'd find plenty more stuff on Mordred, stuff that could get him locked up for _years._

That alone, should have given Arthur _some _kind of satisfaction. But it didn't. He felt ill, and his stomach was churning. The realization of who Mordred really was, still made him feel sick. Because he was _demented._ He'd have to be, to do something like that to someone like _Merlin. _He was one of the kindest, humblest, funniest people Arthur had ever met, and he simply couldn't understand why anybody would want to say a bad word against him. _You did, once, _Arthur thought to himself, but he shook the thought away. Things were different now. _He _was different.

"You can go home, if you want," Merlin said, not even turning to look at Arthur. He just looked across the road, at nothing in particular. He felt nothing. He didn't feel the sting of his cuts, or the hope he should feel, for Mordred finally being caught. He felt nothing. He felt numb. "I'll be fine."

"Merlin, you're _not _fine," Arthur replied sternly, and Merlin turned to look at him. Then his wall crumbled. He didn't want Arthur to go _anywhere. _He didn't know what he'd do, if he was left by himself. He didn't know what he _would _have done, if Arthur hadn't shown up in the first place. Arthur could tell that Merlin didn't want him to go_. _Which was good, because he didn't particularly want to.

"Arthur, you don't have to stay," he continued, but his voice was shaky. Even he could tell he didn't mean it. Something about the concern in Arthur's eyes, though, made him want to break. And he was _so _close to breaking. For weeks, he'd been holding it all in, not wanting to give Mordred the satisfaction. But there was just something about Arthur that meant Merlin couldn't lie to him. He couldn't pretend he was okay, when he wasn't. "I . . . I really appreciate what you did for me, I do, but . . . I know it didn't mean anything. You said so yourself, the . . . the things I let him to do me, were disgusting . . . I'm disgusting."

"Don't say that," Arthur replied, his voice turning incredibly soft. Merlin touched his cuts absentmindedly and winced. They'd still hurt, of course they would, it'd only happened yesterday. Still, scars and all, Arthur didn't think he'd ever seen anyone more beautiful. A few weeks ago, he would've mentally slapped himself for even _thinking _that. But it was true. Merlin was the most beautiful human being Arthur had ever met, inside, and out. He couldn't exactly tell _him _that though. "Don't even _think _that, Merlin."

"It's true though, I'm not . . ." Merlin trailed off, not knowing how exactly to put it. He knew he was clutching at straws now. He wanted nothing more than to tell Arthur the truth, and to just let himself be held. But he wanted to give Arthur the opportunity to walk away, to make sure he knew what he was getting into. Still, that didn't make the words he was saying any less true. At least . . . not in Merlin's opinion. "I'm not like you, I'm not important, I'm . . . I'm beneath you. Even Mordred knows it. I just can't see why you're wasting your time on me."

"Merlin, you know none of that's true. You said it yourself, I'm not like that." Arthur sighed, seeing that he clearly wasn't getting through to Merlin. It hurt, to see how little confidence Merlin had, compared to a few weeks ago, when he'd been fine. It just made him want to hurt Mordred even more. "You _are _important . . . more important than you'll probably ever know. You're essential. After all, I need someone around to deflate my massive ego, don't I?"

That brought a smile to Merlin's lips, and Arthur couldn't help but smile back. There was just something about Merlin's smile, that was oddly contagious, even when it was swamped behind waves of sorrow and pain. Arthur just hoped that, over time, he'd be able to help Merlin heal his scars. Not just his physical ones, but his emotional ones, too. He couldn't even begin to imagine what the things Mordred had said had done to Merlin. All he knew was that, no matter how long it took, he'd stay with Merlin through all of it, until he was himself again. It would all be worth it in the end, if he got to see that smile again.

"See, that's what I want," Arthur said, pointing to Merlin, and the other boy blushed slightly, looking down at the floor. The intensity of Arthur's gaze was blinding him. He said the strangest things sometimes, and Merlin often found himself wondering about his intentions . . . "I want to see more of that smile, okay? I'm so sorry you had to be put through all of that, and that it took me this long to notice. But I _promise _you, nothing like this will _ever _happen again, alright? And scars will fade, all that matters, is that you're okay."

"What if I'm not?" Merlin replied, his voice breaking, and tears forming in his eyes. Arthur's resolve weakened, and he found himself reaching out to Merlin. And just like that, he broke.

_"Merlin," _Arthur sighed, gathering the scrawny boy in his arms, and stroking his hair as he sobbed into his shirt.

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	12. Chapter Twelve

**Hey guys!**

**I have no idea what happened with this chapter the first time I posted it. It got extremely messed up, and the first half of it went missing. I've tried to replace it, and hopefully this time, it will work. I think when I copied and pasted it, the first half mustn't have been selected. I apologize for that mistake, and am glad that nannily pointed it out, thank you!**

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**Megz**

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Merlin made his way out of History class as fast as he could, eager to get to the canteen, and, to Morgana and Gwen. He hadn't seen them since last night, and he wanted things to be back to normal now. After Arthur had held Merlin for a few minutes, he'd taken him back to his house, and asked for Morgana and Gwen to meet them there. Once everyone was present, Arthur had told them what Mordred had done to him. He conveniently left out the part where he'd saved him, but Merlin added it at the end. And when he did, he could swear he saw an emotion almost akin to pride in Morgana's eyes.

Gwen had cried of course, unable to believe that she hadn't noticed that was going on the whole time. Merlin had said though, that it wasn't her fault. Of course it wasn't. Neither her, nor Morgana could've known that anything was going on. Once Gwen was done crying, and Merlin had hugged both of them, he was left alone with Arthur, saying he'd join the girls upstairs in a minute.

Left alone together, Merlin made his way over to Arthur, offering a handshake. But instead, Arthur had scoffed, brushing the hand away, and pulled Merlin into a hug. After all, it was ridiculous to think that they could just go back to the way they were before, after everything they'd been through. Merlin had relaxed into the hug, before pulling away, and mumbling a 'thanks'. He pretended not to be aware that Arthur had watched him walk away.

Merlin shook his head, trying to make himself think of anything _but _Arthur Pendragon. Arthur was, quite literally, all he'd thought about, since last night. He was just so _confused. _Not only about his . . . relationship with Arthur, but about the . . . feelings he was beginning to have for him. It didn't make any sense. He'd never felt this way before, the way he felt with Arthur, it was . . . different. And he had no idea what it was, and that scared him.

Just as he was _so close _to forgetting about Arthur, even if only for a second, the boy himself appeared, barging his way through the crowds. He spotted Merlin instantly, and made his way over to him. The crowds parted like the red sea, and Arthur reached him within minutes. Merlin would love to have said that he was annoyed by this, that he'd been so close to forgetting about Arthur, and now here he was, but he wasn't. His heart skipped several beats, and his breathing became shaky. It didn't make _sense. _What was it about this guy that made him so nervous, yet so excited, at the same time?

As Arthur turned on his heel to walk with Merlin, the brunette couldn't help but revel in the gasps that came with people realizing _Arthur _was walking with _him. _People just couldn't believe it, and Merlin could see it, the disbelief, painted across every face they passed. For a moment, Merlin wondered whether Arthur was going to say anything at all, or whether they were just going to walk in complete silence, but then the blonde began to speak.

"So how are you today?" Arthur asked, and Merlin was surprised for a moment. He was the first person to ask that question, and actually sound like they wanted to know. Everyone else, expected a lie, because they didn't care. They didn't ask the question because they genuinely wanted to know, they asked it out of habit. But it seemed Arthur really did want to know.

"I'm fine, really. I can't thank you enough, Arthur, for what you did," Merlin replied, trying to keep his voice low. He didn't know whether Arthur would want people to know about what had happened between him, Merlin and Mordred. For now, it had stayed between the three of them. But Merlin knew Arthur intended to tell his father about it. "And what you're still doing."

"Merlin, you don't have to thank me," the other boy interrupted. "I just hope my father will be able to do what I ask of him. While I'll try to do what I can for you, and keep Mordred away from you, that probably won't work all of the time. I just hope my father won't disappoint me as he has done in the past. Not for me, but for you. I don't want you to ever have to go through any of that ever again, Merlin. You don't deserve it."

"I don't think anybody does," Merlin replied solemnly, and Arthur felt so compelled to comfort him, that he reached over, and took Merlin's hand in his. He gave it a reassuring squeeze, before letting go carefully. Merlin gave him a small smile of thanks.

"Of course not." Arthur nodded, and for a while, a silence passed between them. Merlin wondered whether Arthur was eventually going to join his friends, and see him later. But he didn't. Instead, he continued to walk with Merlin, despite the lack of conversation. As they walked past Arthur's friends, Merlin heard himself take a sharp intake of breath, yet Arthur didn't even blink. He just offered them a curt nod, and carried on walking. It was then that Merlin had to ask.

"Why are you still walking with me?" he asked, and then quickly added; "Not that I don't want you to, of course. I was just wondering, because, well . . . you know I don't -"

"Merlin, you're rambling," Arthur smirked, and Merlin glared at him, but his heart wasn't in it, and Arthur could see the amusement in his eyes. Arthur shook his head, and looked thoughtful for a moment. "I don't know, really. I guess I just got tired of being surrounded by fakes. You were right, none of them are my real friends, and I see that now. I can't trust any of them, especially after what Mordred did to you. In fact, I think _you, _Merlin, are the only person I can trust. Besides, if any of them were my real friends in the first place, they'll respect my decision, and join me. If that doesn't bother you, of course."

"Wait, so are you saying . . . are we friends now?" Merlin asked, confused. He wasn't sure what Arthur was hinting at, but his heart sped up several beats. Not that he'd ever let on.

"If you'll have me," Arthur replied, giving Merlin what could only be referred to as the "abandoned-puppy-eyes". And he couldn't help but laugh. There was something about Arthur that never failed to make him extremely happy. At least since he'd stopped bullying him. "It wouldn't bother you, though? Having me, and possibly some of my friends sitting with you?"

"Not at all, as long as Morgana and Gwen were okay with it," Merlin replied, and Arthur couldn't help but grin. He couldn't believe it had only taken a few seconds, to get what he'd wanted for so long, even if he'd only just realized it; to be friends with Merlin. And even though he knew he wanted a lot more than just friendship, he'd take whatever he could get.

* * *

About a half an hour later, Morgana, Gwen, and Merlin sat at their usual lunch-table, with one unexpected addition; Arthur. Morgana and Gwen sat on one side of the table, whilst Merlin and Arthur sat on the other. And while the two girls had raised an eyebrow at Arthur sitting with them at first, nothing was said about it. Morgana knew that her brother wanted to get to know Merlin, and she was glad that he was finally making an effort. Merlin had been slightly worried, at first, that it would be awkward with Arthur there. He was best friends with Morgana and Gwen, and good friends with Arthur now, he supposed, but he had no idea if they'd even get on.

Still, it seemed to be going well, and Merlin had never felt more relaxed. And it helped to reassure him that, every so often, Arthur's thigh would graze against his under the table, it brought a smile to his face. It was weird, to watch Arthur interact with his friends, but, at the same time, it felt so . . . natural. Obviously, as Morgana and Arthur were siblings, they saw each other all the time. But Merlin had never really imagined the two of them having a proper conversation, though Morgana still talked about Arthur quite a bit.

"So how come you're not sitting with the _knights _anymore?" Morgana turned to Arthur, putting extra emphasis on the 'knights', as if she were mocking him. Still, there was nothing really behind it, anyone could see that.

"Knights?" Arthur asked, looking puzzled. And it suddenly dawned on Merlin that he probably didn't know that's the way everybody referred to them. Most of the knights themselves just wandered around with their head in the clouds most of the time, they didn't tend to notice what was going on around them that often. Still, it made sense that nobody would have told them about the nickname. It probably would have resulted in a severe beating.

"That's what . . . never mind. Why aren't you sitting with your . . . _friends?" _Morgana asked again, rephrasing the question. It was probably best that Arthur didn't know about the nickname. It wasn't likely he'd do anything about it, but it was something . . . private. Something that was shared between others. To mention it to Arthur just felt wrong.

"I would have thought that was obvious, Morgana. After last night and everything . . ." Arthur replied, not sure whether he should bring it up again, especially in front of Merlin. But Merlin seemed just as curious as Morgana, even though Arthur had already explained it to him. "I don't feel as if I can trust any of them anymore. I had no idea that Mordred was doing that to Merlin, or that he was even _capable _of something like that. It's just . . . it's made me reconsider a lot of things."

"And how are we supposed to know that this isn't a trick?" Gwen cut in, suddenly looking very concerned. She'd always been like that, when it came to Merlin, and he loved her for it. Whilst his mother was back in Ealdor, it was nice to have someone else caring for him in such a way. "That you're just looking for a way to manipulate Merlin, or to hurt him again?"

"I . . . I know I've done some terrible things to Merlin in the past, and you have to know that . . . I'm truly sorry for them. I still can't really explain why I did what I did, but I know that I regret it now. I don't expect you to trust me straight away, but I hope you can learn to understand that . . . I _care _about Merlin. I don't know why, or how, all I know is that I do. And I'm sorry he had to get hurt for me to realize it."

Both of the girls nodded slowly, seeming to approve of Arthur's answers. They knew he would never hurt Merlin, not really, they just wanted to see how much he would reveal in front of him. It was quite funny really, they knew about Arthur's feelings for Merlin, but Arthur didn't know that _Gwen _knew, and they both knew he was 'A', but, again, he didn't know that Gwen knew about it. And then Merlin had no idea about any of it. He'd find out sooner or later though, and that knowledge was what made Morgana and Gwen keep it from him. They only hoped that after the "big reveal", Arthur got the reaction he wanted. The reaction that they _all _wanted.

Because if Merlin rejected him now, Morgana didn't know if Arthur would be able to come back from that. After everything he'd done for him, and after the time it had taken them to get to know each other _properly, _it was clear how much Arthur cared for him. And if Merlin didn't feel the same . . . Morgana couldn't even bear to think about what it would do to Arthur. It would _destroy _him. Merlin was the only person Arthur had ever shown any kind of _real _affection for, and if he rejected him, Arthur would close himself off again. He'd pretend not to feel anymore, and Morgana didn't know if she'd be able to get through to him this time. Arthur took rejection harder than most. She put it down to Uther's _constant _rejection of him.

Suddenly, the bell rang out for the end of lunch, and the room sprang to life. Everyone made their way towards the doors, and the group in the back corner stood up together. Merlin slung his bag over his shoulder, and gestured for Arthur to lead the way. They were in almost all of each other's classes, so it only made sense that they'd walk together. Morgana and Gwen, however, were going in the opposite direction. Arthur gave them a curt nod, and waited for Merlin to say goodbye. He hugged his friends, and then jogged over to the door, where Arthur was waiting.

"I think they like you," Merlin said cheerily, as they walked to class. Arthur raised an eyebrow questioningly. Clearly, they hadn't been sat at the same table just then. Merlin sighed, rolling his eyes. "They _did. _Besides the third-degree that they were giving you towards the end. They just . . . they don't want me to get hurt again, I guess. After what happened with Will, whenever I get close to someone, they just want to be sure that . . . "

"I understand. You've been through a lot Merlin, it only makes sense that they want to protect you," Arthur replied, not wanting Merlin to have to explain himself if he didn't want to. Besides, he had a habit of rambling, and Arthur often wondered how long Merlin would talk for, if he went uninterrupted. "And I like them too. It's . . . strange, not to have to wonder whether they're only being nice to you for your money. It's . . . different."

"They do like you though, I can tell. Obviously, Morgana does, because she's your sister and everything, but Gwen . . . she's a little harder to convince. I'm not saying she cares more than Morgana or anything, she's just a lot more . . . protective. A bit like a bulldog, no . . . maybe that's the wrong description to use . . . "

"_Merlin, _it's okay, I get it." Arthur interrupted again. He didn't want Merlin to hurt himself. "I must admit though, it's not their opinion that matters to me."

"Oh really?" Merlin swallowed hard, trying not to let his voice betray him. His heart was beating so fast, he was amazed that Arthur couldn't hear it, even over the crowds around them. "And whose opinion is it that matters so much to you?"

"You may be an idiot Merlin, but surely I don't have to tell you that?" Merlin shivered, as his fingers brushed Arthur's. The feeling when their bodies came into contact with each other . . . it was like nothing Merlin had ever experienced before. It wasn't like in books, or movies, where he felt a jolt of electricity. It was like he was . . . on fire. And he just ached to touch him again. But it scared him, so he didn't. Because when you play with fire, you always get burned.

"Of course I like you, you prat." Merlin replied, grinning at the other boy. He liked that he was the only person that was able to call Arthur Pendragon a prat, and get away with it. Normally, he would've been thrown on the floor at this point, and beaten within an inch of his life. But instead, Arthur just feigned mock offence, and held a hand over his "wounded heart".

"Now I don't know who taught you how to make friends Merlin, but you're definitely not going about it-" Arthur said, sarcastically, as Merlin rolled his eyes. Only to be interrupted, when Merlin opened a door, and turned to him. There was just something about those eyes, that, when they looked at him, he just froze.

_"Shut up."_

* * *

Later that day, Arthur waited outside school, across the street. He'd gotten a text from Lance just as he was about to go home, telling him to wait outside school, and that they needed to "talk". If he didn't know any better, he'd think Lance was breaking up with him or something. Still, Arthur had a feeling he already knew what it was about, and he'd been meaning to talk about it with his friends anyway. He only hoped that Lance had brought the others with him. He didn't want to be having this conversation more than once.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to keep them warm, as he waited. Literally _every _other student had already left the school. Merlin had offered to wait with him until Lance got there, but Arthur had said he was best off going home. He didn't want Merlin to get involved or anything, especially if Lance brought Mordred with him. It had to be about twenty minutes since the end of school now, and Arthur was just about ready to give up and go home, when he saw Lance coming round the corner. And he wasn't alone.

Trailing behind him, were Gwaine, Percival, Ewan, Owain, Elyan, Leon, William, Tristan, Edwin, and _Mordred. _Even seeing him now, Arthur wanted nothing more than to slam him into the wall and beat him half to death. For what he'd done to Merlin, he deserved nothing less. But thinking about what Merlin would think of him afterwards, was the only thing stopping Arthur from doing just that. Doing to Mordred what he'd done to Merlin, would not make Arthur any better than him. So he just had to try making any eye contact with the bastard. Because one word from him, and he might just have to go back on the promise he'd just made for himself.

The group, when they got close enough, stopped just in front of Arthur, almost surrounding him. And their presence no longer comforted Arthur. Instead, it was more threatening, than it was friendly. He felt like he was being cornered, and suffocated. It was strange to think that he could feel that way about people who, just yesterday, he'd spent more of his time with. But most of that, it seemed, had been smoke and mirrors. And he now saw them for what they really were. He only hoped that, among them, he might still have found _some_ true friends.

"I know why you're here," Arthur said, loud enough so that he was addressing all of them. "And I'm telling you now; I'm not going to change my mind."

"But _why, _Arthur?" asked Edwin, stepping out from the crowd. "It just doesn't make sense, why you're hanging out with those . . . losers. They're not like us, you have to understand that, and we're not like them. They're _beneath _us."

"I'm sorry, _Edwin," _Arthur spat, causing the shorter boy to take a few steps back. "But you seem to be forgetting that my _sister _is one of those so-called "losers". And Elyan's sister, Gwen, too. You know nothing about these people, what they've been through, or what they're like. So don't, for a _second, _think that you can judge them. Most of them are better people now than you'll _ever _be, so don't you dare even think that you have the _right _to even _think _that they're _beneath _you.

And that goes for the rest of you, as well. I'm not coming back, I've told you this already, but that doesn't mean that you can't make the same choice as me. I'm giving you the _choice. _I know most of you were only ever friends with me for my money, I can see that now, but I only hope that, I really _did _find some true friends among you, and that some of you really are the people I thought you were. If you choose not to, then I'll understand. I won't judge you, though I'll pity you. Because you don't have the _strength _to stand up for what's _right._

I've found out recently, that I can no longer trust my previous judgement. I was wrong, about some of you. You weren't who I thought you were, and I can't believe it took me this long to realize. But if any of you are _really _my friends, then you'll stick by me. I know I shouldn't be forcing this decision on you, but I really don't see any other way to do this. So . . . are there _any _of you that think you _might _be able to do the right thing, and join me?"

Arthur stood back, and watched their reactions. Most of them scoffed, and he tried his hardest not to look at Mordred. He knew that just looking once at that _irritatingly smug _face, would cause him to lose control. And he didn't want that to happen, for Merlin's sake. But, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mordred shrug his shoulders, and shake his head, looking slightly disappointed. He gestured for the others to follow him, as he walked away slowly. After a few moments, he stopped, turned, and looked.

It was then, that their decision was made, and Arthur watched, as "friend" after "friend" trailed after Mordred, too ashamed of themselves to even look him in the eye. And felt he was losing them all, then and there. He'd been wrong, about all of them, and there had been no point in even _trying _to persuade any of them. The only thing that mattered to them, was the money, and the power. It made them feel safe, made them feel protected. But to rebel against _Mordred, _of all people, well, that was one of the most dangerous things that a person could do.

And to be honest, Arthur was disgusted by them. By _all _of them. Until he saw the crowd begin to split. He looked first, over to where Mordred stood, with about five others. He wanted to hit them, he wanted to scream at them, ask them what they thought they were doing. But he didn't. Because he knew now, who his real friends were. So he simply nodded at them, and wished them luck in his thoughts. Because he really did pity them. All they cared about, was their own safety, but Arthur knew that, sooner or later, Mordred would turn on them too.

So he watched, as Ewan, William, Tristan, Owain and Edwin followed after Mordred, and he could honestly say, he felt nothing for them anymore. They were _nothing _to him. He didn't feel hate, or betrayal, he didn't feel sad, or angry. He felt nothing. Because, stood before him, were the five people who'd been his _true _friends all along. And he was so grateful for them, that he couldn't even put it into words.

Stood before him, were Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan and Leon, and Arthur could not have been happier. He looked around at his friends, and felt a great surge of pride. Because, despite everything that had just happened, and the events that would most likely follow, they'd stuck by him. And that was what true friendship was. And Arthur was glad that, at least _now, _he knew that some people weren't friends with him just for his money.

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	13. Chapter Thirteen

**IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ!**

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**So some of you may know this already, but I'm just going to tell you anyway, just in case. Something went wrong with the last chapter, and the beginning of it was cut off. Where it began from, didn't make any sense. Luckily, a few people pointed it out to me, and I managed to fix it. I couldn't find the original part, but I think I got it pretty close. Anyway, if any of you read it before I fixed the problem, then maybe you just want to go back and re-read it? Only quickly, it was just missing a few paragraphs.**

**Some of you were asking if Merlin's ever going to find out who 'A' is, and don't worry, he will, I promise. I'm sorry it's dragging out for so long, but it's the way I've planned the story. I just have one question, because I'm still not sure about the ending. Well, two questions actually.**

**Would you rather Merlin found out in the last chapters, or have a few chapters still going, _after _he finds out?**

**And, do you think he should find out, be told by Arthur, be told by someone else, or figure it out himself?**

**Please, let me know which one you'd prefer, because I'm really still not sure of which direction to go with the ending. Everything up to that point though, is completely planned.**

**Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

The next day, Merlin was sat, watching TV with Gaius. It was a Saturday afternoon, and he'd just gotten back from helping his uncle with the shopping, and they were sitting down to watch their favourite show, _Doctor Who_. Merlin had been surprised at first, that Gaius even had a _TV, _for one thing. Merlin loved his uncle, but sometimes, he could be _incredibly _old-fashioned. The fact that he had a TV was nothing short of a miracle. And the fact that Gaius watched _Doctor Who, _as well. Merlin had watched it every Saturday, back in Ealdor. And every time it came on, Will would come over to his house, so they could watch it together.

Merlin would be lying if he said he didn't miss Will. He missed him more than anything in the whole world, and watching _their _favourite show always reminded him of what his life now was missing. Most of the memories he had of his best friend, were built around that show. The first time Will had put his arm around him, had been watching that show_. _And the first time they'd kissed, had not been long after. Every strand of their relationship/friendship, whatever it had been, was connected to a _stupid TV show, _and it made Merlin so angry to watch it sometimes. But then others, he was glad, that he still had this small part of Will to hold on to. It made him feel like he was still a part of his life, even if he wasn't around anymore.

Gaius carefully put his glasses on, and Merlin settled into his chair. And surprisingly, for once, Merlin wasn't thinking about Will anymore. As the title sequence played, and he watched the Doctor energetically running round the Tardis, all he could think about, was _Arthur. _And Merlin felt like slapping himself. It was like he was living his life in a daze, an Arthur-filled daze. That arrogant, stupid, lovable _prat, _was all he could think about, _all the time. _Even now, when he was watching _their _show, he was thinking about _Arthur._

His mind was just filled with memories of his scent, the sound of his voice, the way his eyes lit up when he smiled . . . And even when he _tried _to think about Will, he morphed back into the sarcastic, blonde pretty boy. It wasn't Will watching TV with him, or running to school because they were late. It wasn't Will sharing a bed with him that night when he was scared, it wasn't Will with his arms around him. And it wasn't Will _kissing _him. Merlin shook himself.

He didn't want Arthur to _kiss _him . . . did he? _No, of course not! _Merlin thought, trying to focus on the show, sinking lower into his seat. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the image of Arthur kissing him out of his mind. And he couldn't help but wonder . . . what _would _it be like to kiss Arthur? _No! _Merlin's brain snapped at him, and he squirmed in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable again. Thinking of Arthur's lips on his, of his hands in Arthur's hair . . . _Stop it! _No matter how hard he tried though, the image would just not go away. Like it was branded behind his eyes.

Just as he was about to give up, and let his mind run free, the phone rang. Gaius was about to get up, sighing as he did so, but Merlin pushed him back down gently. It would do him some good to answer the phone, it might distract him from the _extremely _inappropriate thoughts he was having about Arthur. Gaius smiled, and sat back down, as Merlin ran to the phone in the kitchen.

"Hello?" he said, pushing himself up onto the kitchen counter, the phone held expertly between his head and shoulder.

"Merlin?" the person on the other side of the phone asked, and Merlin knew he recognized that voice instantly. He'd like to have said he was annoyed, but secretly, he was thrilled. More than he could explain. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house?"

"You do realize that Doctor Who's on, right? Do you have _any _idea what I'd be sacrificing for this?" Merlin replied teasingly, and he could practically _hear _Arthur rolling his eyes. "You'll have to be a lot more convincing than that if you want me to -"

"Merlin Emyrs, get your lazy arse over here!" Arthur snapped, but Merlin could hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'll be over in half an hour, is that good enough for his Royal Highness?"

"Shut up,"

"You know that's no way to treat someone when you're trying to get them to come over to -"

"Shut up,"

"I'm just saying, you could be a _little _friendlier with your approach, you know -"

"Shut _up, _Merlin!"

* * *

Less than an hour later, Merlin was up in Arthur's room, for the _second _time in a _month. _And it was now occurring to him that agreeing to come over to Arthur's house, after the thoughts he'd been having about him, probably hadn't been the best idea. Still, all of his common sense had clearly flown out the window the moment he'd picked up the phone. There was something about Arthur that he just couldn't say no to. He refused to put it down to attraction, though. It was just hormones, that's all it was. There was no _way _he was attracted to _Arthur. _No, he couldn't be. He hadn't felt like that since Will.

Arthur had said that Morgana and Gwen would be back soon. He'd said that they could all hang out together, which made Merlin slightly calmer. He hoped that maybe he'd be able to stop thinking about Arthur in . . . _that way, _if Morgana and Gwen were there too. But while Merlin had thought at first that being alone with Arthur would've been awkward, he couldn't have been more wrong. In fact, it just felt . . . natural. And while Merlin had thought there would be nothing for them to talk about, the two of them had hardly paused for breath.

"I don't know why we never did this before," Arthur said suddenly, cocking his head to the side in thought. Merlin looked at him questioningly from across the room, enjoying the comfort of Arthur's sofa. He was currently lay across it on his stomach, watching Arthur with curious eyes. "You know . . . _this. _Talked, properly."

"Because you were a stupid prat who couldn't see past his own prejudices?" Merlin asked sarcastically, and expertly dodged the pillow that came flying his way. Although, he did end up almost falling off of the sofa instead. Still, he caught himself, grabbing the back of the sofa, and pulling himself back. He wasn't going to give Arthur the satisfaction. And so, he reached behind him, and threw the pillow right back. Arthur was entirely unsuspecting, doubled over with laughter, and Merlin's throw was perfectly aimed. The pillow hit Arthur square on the head, and Merlin couldn't help but join in with his laughter.

"Or _maybe _it's because _somebody _could never simply just mind his own business?" Arthur replied, throwing the pillow back onto the bed, and following it shortly after. He lay on his back, looking straight up at the ceiling, and Merlin had a strange urge to join him. He didn't. "So you and Gwen . . ."

"Oh here we go," Merlin said, with a roll of his eyes. He pushed himself up on the sofa, and sat back, staring up at the ceiling as Arthur was.

Everyone always assumed that something was going on between him and Gwen. Most people though, by now, knew that Merlin was gay. The only person whoever even entertained the idea of him and Gwen being . . . an item, was Mr Sutton, the Drama teacher. He was quite old, and _very _stubborn. He was very sweet and everything, it's just that when Mr Sutton got an idea . . . he stuck with it. And he'd been convinced that something was going on between him and "Lady Guinevere" ever since Merlin had first arrived.

"I'm just asking," Arthur replied, but his voice still held the same, teasing tone. To be honest, he wasn't really sure _why _he was asking. He knew Merlin was gay, but perhaps he just liked the idea of pushing the other boy's buttons? Still, Arthur knew there was some _small _part of him, that still wasn't sure. Ever since a few weeks ago, there had always been this nagging, little doubt that the Merlin he was talking to online, was _not _the Merlin sat beside him. "Not even once, though?"

"Not even once," Merlin replied sharply, sounding a little bored by the subject. Though he just continued to glare at the ceiling, wondering when Gwen and Morgana would get there. Secretly though, he didn't want them to turn up, and ruin his time with Arthur. Even if they were his best friends.

"Why not?" Arthur continued. He was rather beginning to enjoy this, as he heard Merlin's exasperated sigh from across the room. "She's a sweet girl after all, very kind, _smart, _loyal. She's very pretty too -"

"And not my type,"

"Which would be?" Arthur asked, the teasing from his voice vanishing in an instant. He turned on to his side, and stared right at Merlin, resting his head on his hand. Merlin immediately felt Arthur's eyes on him, and his head snapped from the ceiling, to where Arthur lay on the bed. But the sincerity in his eyes forced the Emyrs boy to look away. He couldn't believe he was being made to discuss this, with _Arthur, _of all people.

"Well she's not . . ." he began, but he wasn't really sure what to say. He wasn't exactly going to come out to the most popular boy in school, was he? But then again, Arthur had already shown that he really did _care _about Merlin. So much so, that he was no longer hanging out with his friends, because of him. And Merlin could no longer judge him by the same standards that he had before. He'd changed. Still, that didn't make it any easier. "It's not that she's not attractive, and she is, _and _smart, it's just . . . she . . . I don't . . . she's not . . ."

"A guy?" Arthur asked, so bluntly that Merlin almost fell off of his seat again. But while Merlin blushed, and tried to look away, Arthur looked confident, and completely composed. Merlin wondered how he could be so calm about it. But the calm exterior that Arthur was showing, was completely the _opposite _of how he felt inside. Him and Merlin had never really talked about . . . feelings before, at least, not in the way they were now. Not face-to-face.

"W-w-what?"

"It's alright Merlin, you can tell me." he continued, and again, Merlin didn't see how he could be so calm. This was Merlin's _personal life _that they were talking about, not some trivial, little chatter. Still, the way that Arthur was handling it, gave him some hope. If he was talking about it so calmly, then he might be okay with it . . .

"It . . . it doesn't bother you?" Merlin asked, and Arthur shook his head in reply. And Merlin could tell he meant it. He wasn't just playing a game with him, at least not this time. "That I . . . that I'm . . ."

"Gay?" Arthur finished for him, and Merlin nodded, if a little shakily. It didn't bother him anymore, that Arthur had once been one of the most popular boys in school. It didn't matter, not now. It didn't matter that he'd made fun of him for so long. Because the Arthur he was seeing now, was a completely different person, and now, Merlin not only accepted him, but he _understood him. _He understood, having to pretend to be someone else, to live up to people's expectations, he understood, having to hide who you really were, and what you were really feeling. "Why should it?"

"I don't know, I guess I just thought . . . never mind," Merlin mumbled, suddenly feeling ashamed. He couldn't believe he'd ever thought that Arthur would judge him for being gay. At least not now.

Before Merlin could calm himself down enough to start asking questions of his own, the doorbell rang. And Merlin found himself a little disappointed that his time alone with Arthur was being cut short, already. There was something about the other boy, that he just found so intriguing and he found himself being almost drawn to him, desperate to know _more. _Still, he felt a small smile form on his face, when he heard a small sigh of Arthur's _own _disappointment.

It seemed he wasn't the only one that wanted them to have a little more time together.

* * *

Later that night, Morgana, Merlin, Gwen and Arthur, were sat in the Pendragon's upstairs living room, scattered across the sofa and floor. They had chosen the upstairs living room, as Uther was downstairs, watching TV, and Merlin and Gwen did not really want to have any awkward run-ins with their Headmaster. Well, any more than were absolutely necessary. The room that they were in, although it was slightly smaller than the downstairs living room, was a lot more comfortable, and homey. It had quite a large, flat-screen TV on one wall, and a large, U-shaped cream sofa, facing it. That was basically all that made up the room, besides a few small tables, and a window, covered by heavy curtains.

And although the TV was staring them right in the face, the four of them had stopped watching it a long while ago, and it was now turned off. Instead, they'd decided to get to know each other a little better. Even if two of them were siblings, and three of them were best friends. Morgana and Merlin were sat on the sofa, whilst Gwen and Arthur were on the floor. It wasn't that the sofa wasn't large enough for the four of them, which it absolutely was, it was just that it made it easier for them to talk. Morgana sat, cross-legged, like a small child, whereas Merlin was sat in the corner of the sofa, feet up. Gwen sat, mirroring Morgana's position almost completely, whilst Arthur lounged against the sofa, one knee up, resting his arm on it.

"Let's play 'Never Have I Ever'!" Morgana exclaimed suddenly, which resulted in groans from the boys, and Gwen looking a little confused.

"Morgana, Uther's just downstairs," she explained, and Morgana rolled her eyes.

"You're no fun, Gwen, honestly," the young Pendragon teased, before looking thoughtful for a moment. "Okay, so we'll just say that whoever gets taken out first, has to do a dare, of the group's choice?"

Gwen smiled then, and if Merlin didn't know any better, he could almost say that there was a hint of evil in that smile. Still, he chose to ignore it. Surely nothing _that_ bad could come of one of Morgana's silly games. He'd played 'Never Have I Ever', back in Ealdor, with Will and a few of his other friends, and was familiar with the rules. Basically, all the players have, as Merlin understood it, something like ten chances. They went around the circle, and each person had to say something that they'd never done before. If another player had done it before, they lost one of their chances. If they lost all ten, they were out of the game.

Merlin just desperately hoped that he didn't get out first. There was no _way _he wanted to be on the receiving end on one of Morgana's dares. It never ended well.

"Fine," Arthur sighed, and the girls grinned widely. The four of them held out their hands, and looked expectantly at each other. Morgana nodded in Arthur's direction, and he sighed again. Why did _he _have to go first? But then, he looked as if an idea had hit him, and he grinned at Morgana wickedly. "Never have I ever . . . had a crush on one of my parent's friends or colleagues."

Morgana glared at him, and slowly put one of her fingers down. Gwen and Merlin tried to hide their shock, but it obviously hadn't worked. Still, nothing was said about it, and Arthur continued to look smug, as Morgana looked like steam was about to begin coming out of her ears. As she was the next one in the circle, she smiled at Arthur, with a look so sweet, it was almost sickening.

"Never have I ever . . ." she began, and by the way her eyes were darting between him and Merlin, Arthur knew what she was going to say. Still, it wasn't like there was anything he could do about it now. He'd told them one of her darkest secrets, now it was her turn. He only hoped that no questions would be asked afterwards. "Fancied anyone in this room."

There was a sharp intake of breath, as everyone _but _Morgana put one of their fingers down. _Including _Gwen. As Merlin put his finger down, Arthur couldn't help but feel a small twinge of hope. But, even though Merlin was gay _now, _it didn't mean he'd always been. It could just as easily be Morgana or Gwen that he was thinking of. Little did he know though, Merlin felt the same twinge of hope, when he saw Arthur's finger go down. And while Morgana knew about Arthur and Merlin, she hadn't been expecting _Gwen _to lose out that time, at _all._

The game went on for a while, and the answers ranged from slightly weird, to absolutely ridiculous.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped," - Arthur and Morgana's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever been suspended from school," - Merlin and Arthur's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever lied about my age," - Merlin, Arthur and Morgana's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever been in love," - Merlin and Gwen's fingers went down.

"Never have I ever gotten a detention," - Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana's fingers went down.

In the end, Merlin and Arthur both had only two fingers left held up, while Morgana had five, and Gwen had seven. Already, they'd learned a little more about each other than they had previously, and, on occasion, a little _too _much. Then again, most of what they had heard, probably should have been expected. Merlin and Gwen knew that the younger Pendragons had reckless tendencies, whilst Arthur and Morgana knew that Merlin and Gwen were more thoughtful, caring types. Still, some of the things they heard, they still found rather surprising.

"Never have I ever . . ." Gwen began, and Merlin saw something shift in her eyes. She looked over at Morgana, and they shared . . . a _look. _A look that, for some reason, girls always understood, and guys had difficulty understanding. Morgana smirked back at Gwen, and Merlin hoped to God that they weren't planning something. "Fancied someone of the same sex."

Merlin sighed, as he put one of his two remaining fingers down. They were trying to get him out of the game, that much was becoming obvious. And they were going to dare him to do something extremely embarrassing. He loved Morgana, but sometimes, she could be so _wicked. _And he knew it'd all been Morgana's idea, because Gwen would never do something like -

_Hang on, _Merlin thought, as he saw Gwen looking over at Arthur, almost shocked. Arthur was putting one of his fingers down too. But Arthur wasn't - was he? He'd never mentioned it before, but then again, why would he? It had never really come up in conversation, to be fair, except when they were talking about Merlin. And maybe Arthur had been about to tell him, before the doorbell had rung?

"Never have I ever . . ." Morgana continued, and Merlin and Arthur took in a sharp intake of breath at the same time. She smiled evilly at them, and stated simply; "Lied about who I really am."

Now, Morgana had only really said that to tease Arthur. She'd known he'd have to put his finger down, and that he'd lose the game. What she hadn't been expecting, however, was for Merlin to do the same. Although rather tentatively at first, in the end, Merlin sighed in defeat, and let his hands fall to his lap. And he wasn't at all hindered by the fact that Arthur had put his hands down too. It made a lot of sense, in fact. Arthur was a completely different person now, compared to who he had been a mere few weeks ago. It only made sense that he'd had to lie about who he really was.

And Merlin could say what he liked about Morgana, she was over-confident, blunt, quick-thinking, sly, reckless, occasionally judgmental, and sometimes incredibly rude. But if there was one thing she wasn't, it was a liar. Morgana had always been honest with Merlin, from Day One, and with everyone else, for that matter. Morgana simply was who she was, and she didn't let anyone else try to change that. Merlin often wished he could be more like her sometimes.

* * *

Later that night, Merlin and Arthur, much to their dismay, made good on the dare that Morgana and Gwen had asked of them. They had to sleep in the same bed. At first, the idea hadn't seemed that bad, as they'd tried not to think about it too much. It obviously wasn't what they'd originally planned, but they'd thought they could make it work. It was only when it came to getting undressed, and actually getting in bed together, that it really occurred to them what they were being asked to do.

Stood on opposite sides of the bed, and both stripped to to the waist, Merlin and Arthur simply looked at each other, the idea of what they were about to do, finally dawning on them. Obviously, they could just back out of the dare, but Merlin knew Arthur wasn't one to back down. And he had to say, he didn't exactly want to either. There was no way that he was letting Morgana get the better of him. No way he was letting her win. He was going to complete this dare, whether he liked it or not.

They each took in a breath, before slowly getting into the bed. They were almost completely mirroring each other's actions, as they lay on their backs, looking up at the ceiling. They each brought up the sheets to cover their chests, but were probably only centimeters apart. And while Arthur's bed was extremely comfortable, neither of them had felt so incredibly awkward in their entire lives. And _that _was saying something.

"Arthur, when Gwen said that she'd never fancied someone of the same sex . . ." Merlin trailed off, not really knowing what else to say. He knew it probably wasn't the most appropriate time to be discussing Arthur's sexuality, but the words had just come tumbling out. And besides, conversation was the only way he could distract himself from the fact that there was a half-naked Arthur Pendragon lay next to him.

"Yes?" Arthur asked, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. And it honestly still stunned Merlin that he could be so cool about it. A few weeks ago, Arthur would never have been caught dead in the same _room _as Merlin. Let alone, lay in the same bed with him, half-naked, talking about his homosexuality. And yet, here they were, and Arthur wasn't in the slightest bit bothered, it seemed.

"Well, you said that you . . . are you . . ." he trailed off again. He didn't know what it was, but whenever he spoke to Arthur about anything _remotely _personal, he turned into a mumbling wreck. In any other situation, talking about anything else, he was fine. There was just something about the other boy that made him so _nervous._

"Gay? You can say it Merlin, it's not a bad word. You of all people should know that," Arthur replied, sounding a lot more confident than he sounded. He guessed it probably came from years of experience in lying. "And I am, if you must know. That's not a problem, is it?"

"N-no . . ." Merlin muttered, surprised at the snappish tone in Arthur's question. He could tell that he was getting the slightest bit frustrated now. "I . . . I'm sorry, I didn't . . . it's just . . . I don't really like to talk about . . . that sort of stuff, at least . . . I don't mind with Gwen and Morgana, and I know _we're_ kind of friends now, I guess, I just . . . I still don't know you that well, and . . . I'm just so used to having to lie about it. I . . ."

"Is that what you meant before? About having to lie about who you really were?" Arthur asked, turning onto his side, so he could look at Merlin, who was still staring intently at the ceiling.

"I . . . partly," Merlin replied, trying to force himself to answer honestly. He was feeling slightly more comfortable now, Arthur's now calm voice reassuring him. He turned onto his side as well, facing Arthur. "I've always had to pretend that I was . . . like other people. Yes, that I was straight, but also . . . that I was happy, because, most of the time, I wasn't. Will always tried to be there for me, but even he . . . I never really . . . I loved him, of course I did, I just never felt like I could . . . anyway, he . . . the accident happened before we could ever really talk about it.

Ever since then, I've just pretended to be happy. Mostly for Morgana and Gwen's sake. They worry about me, quite a lot, and I don't want to cause them any concern. But these past few weeks, minus everything in the middle, of course, have probably been the happiest I've felt in years. The only thing that bothers me, is that no one really noticed the difference."

Arthur sighed, and Merlin thought for a second that he was angry again, though he couldn't, for the life of him, think why. But instead of anger, he only saw sympathy, and kindness in Arthur's warm, blue eyes. The blonde boy reached over, and gently placed one of his hands on Merlin's cheek, gently stroking the pale, ivory skin with his thumb. Merlin felt his heart skip several beats, and he swore to God, that this boy would be the death of him. Causing him heart failure, if nothing else.

"I did."

* * *

**Cheesy, I know, but trust me, that was playing it down! Anyway, let me know what you thought, review!**


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Hey guys!**

**So, the last chapter was a little different, I hope you liked it though! It took a while for me to write the Never Have I Ever bit, but I got there in the end! And, this story has now reached over 200 reviews! Thank you _so _much! I don't know whether I've already mentioned that, but thanks! I honestly didn't think it would become as popular as it has.**

**Quite a few of you answered my questions about the 'A' reveal. Obviously, I don't want to give anything away, but what happens at the end will be slightly influenced by your answers. The ending that I already had planned though, is only slightly different to what most of you have said. I will be adding a few more chapters on after Merlin finds out, because most of you said that was what you wanted. As for how Merlin finds out, it will be something in between Arthur telling him, and Merlin figuring it out himself. I'll leave you to think about that one. ;)**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

* * *

The light streaming in from the gap in between the curtains woke Merlin from his peaceful sleep. He sighed, closing his eyes again. His eyes were hurting, and all he wanted was just five more minutes of sleep. Besides, it was a Sunday, and there was nothing to do on a Sunday anyway, besides homework, and Merlin had already done all of his. Gaius would probably want him to help out with the shop for a few hours, but that was easily done. It wouldn't require _much _effort.

It was only then, that Merlin remembered where he was, and what had happened last night. He slowly opened one eye, and then the other, to find himself wrapped in the arms of Arthur Pendragon. _Holy shit! _he thought, trying to break free. Unsurprisingly though, Arthur was incredibly strong, and he kept his arms wrapped tightly around Merlin's waist. There was no breaking free. Not that he was complaining. It was quite nice really, being close to someone again. It had been ages since him and Will had been together, and . . . _Stop it! _Merlin scolded himself. _You are not thinking about that now! And you're not enjoying this, not at all!_ Still, another part of Merlin seemed to think differently, and he stopped struggling.

He relaxed into Arthur's arms, finding that it really wasn't so bad after all. He was . . . warm and Merlin didn't think he'd ever had a better night's sleep than last night. There was something about just being in Arthur's _presence _that he found oddly comforting. He couldn't actually remember ever feeling like that before, it was . . . nice.

Since he couldn't really move, and couldn't go back to sleep now that he knew the position he was currently in, he decided to look around Arthur's room. Well, take a look at what he could see from the bed, anyway.

On the bedside table next to him, was a framed picture of Arthur and Morgana. It must only have been taken a few years ago, as they looked practically the same. It had been taken in Disneyland, and Arthur was giving Morgana a piggy-back. On top of Morgana's head, were a pair of Minnie-Mouse ears, and Arthur was wearing a Jack Sparrow pirate hat, with added dread-locks. In the picture, both of them were grinning from ear-to-ear. Merlin didn't quite know why, but it brought a smile to his own face, seeing Arthur happy.

The picture seemed to be one of the only _personal _items in the room. Of course, there were the band posters, the guitars, books and paper on the desk, but apart from that, the room was what you'd expect from a showroom at IKEA. And Merlin wondered if Arthur knew this, or perhaps if he did it on purpose. Arthur seemed like the type of person who didn't like to get too attached to things. His mother had died, though Merlin had never been told how, so it only made sense. He'd been made to deal with the cruelness of reality, from a very young age. It was only natural that he didn't want to feel that again.

Suddenly, Merlin heard Arthur shift behind him. He sighed, knowing that things were about to get increasingly awkward. He felt Arthur slowly remove his arms from Merlin's waist, and pull himself back slightly. But he didn't say a word, and didn't get out of the bed in disgust. Merlin took this as a good sign. He turned over, to see Arthur watching him curiously.

"Sorry about, um . . . that." Arthur said, running his fingers through his hair absentmindedly.

"S'okay," Merlin shrugged, leaning his head on his hand, and looking back at Arthur. He didn't know where this new-found confidence had come from. Maybe once you've shared a bed with someone, you can't really feel _that _uncomfortable around them anymore. After you've shared a bed with them, there isn't really much you can say or do, that could be more awkward than that.

"You didn't run off," Arthur stated, but there was a thoughtful tone to his voice.

"Well, you know me, never one to turn down a dare." Merlin joked, and Arthur cracked a small smile. Turning over onto his back, Merlin sighed. He clasped his hands behind his head, and looked up at the ceiling. He pretended he was completely unaware of Arthur still watching him. He'd noticed this recently, that Arthur seemed to watch him quite often. He wasn't particularly bothered by it though, as he did the same, when he thought Arthur wasn't looking. "So what are we doing today?"

"_I, _am going to football practice," Arthur began, and then he pointed to Merlin. "So that leaves _you, _to go dress shopping with Morgana and Gwen."

Merlin stared, open mouthed. Morgana and Gwen had been planning this trip for weeks, and somehow, Merlin had been roped into joining them. When it had first been mentioned, however, he'd made up some excuse as to why he couldn't go. What he hadn't realized yesterday, was that they'd been planning to go _today. _The night before, they'd been talking about it, and Arthur had, if a little begrudgingly, agreed to come as well, which meant it wouldn't have been so bad.

"You wouldn't." Merlin said, glaring at Arthur.

"Oh, but I have to," Arthur smirked, sitting up against the headboard of his bed. The blanket slipped down to reveal some of his bare chest. Arthur didn't do anything about it though. Merlin had to force himself not to look, or to think any thoughts that he definitely _should not _be thinking. "I got a text this morning from Lance, telling me that practice is early today. So, unfortunately for _you, _you have to spend the day watching Morgana and Gwen trying on _countless _dresses, giving your opinion on _every, single, one."_

"You sick, twisted man," Merlin spat, but there was no real venom behind his words.

Arthur laughed evilly, as he slid out of bed to get ready for football practice. He walked over to his wardrobe, and dug out his training gear, stuffing it all into a bag. Then, he took out his normal clothes, throwing them at the bottom of the bed. Merlin sighed, turning over to look at the clock. The numbers glowed, bold and clear, _9:00am. _Sighing again, he rolled onto his back again, giving out a (very manly) yelp, when he saw Arthur about to change his jeans.

"Not in here, you prat!" he yelled, reaching over to the other side of the bed, and grabbing a pillow. Using all the force that a man of his proportions possessed, he launched the pillow at Arthur, hitting him square in the head. Arthur laughed, pulling up his pants. "I wouldn't want you to spoil my innocence!"

"Merlin Emyrs, you are anything _but _innocent!"

* * *

Merlin sat, in what must have already been the fourth shop they'd been to. The shop was littered with dress racks, and Merlin sat, watching Morgana and Gwen walk up and down the changing rooms area in the most recent objects of their desire. There was nobody else in the shop at the moment, so Merlin felt extremely bored, especially as it had taken Morgana at least ten minutes to get _into _her dress. He had to admit though; the two of them did look _beautiful._

Morgana was wearing a short, lilac dress, with a lacy pattern, and it was slightly ruffled at the rim. Over the dress, she had a short, black blazer, and she was wearing, tall, black heels. Gwen, walking along beside her, was looking equally as beautiful. Her hair was hanging down in loose curls, and she was wearing short, red dress. The skirt stuck out slightly, and it had a thin, sheer layer over the top, with one short, sheer sleeve. With it, she also wore simple, black heels.

Although he was sure he already knew, Merlin had asked earlier, what the dresses were for. It turned out, they were for Uther's impending birthday party, which Merlin was invited to, apparently. To be honest, Merlin wasn't even aware that Uther knew he_ existed. _He'd been over to Morgana's house countless times, of course, but their house was so big, he never really came into contact with the oldest Pendragon. He'd been placing all his bets that Morgana had scored him the invite, but apparently, it had been Arthur. Still, they were friends now, so surely that was normal?

He was, of course, incredibly grateful, though. The fact that Arthur wanted him there _at all . . . _he still wasn't quite used to the two of them being . . . friends. It was strange, but in a good way. They had a great understanding, and Merlin liked that. But he couldn't help comparing it to what he and Will had been like at first. Of course, they'd had nothing of the banter that Arthur and Merlin had, or the drama. But the same attraction had been there. At least, on Merlin's part. He only hoped that this . . . friendship didn't end the same way.

"Well, Merlin?" Morgana asked, and Merlin snapped himself out of his thoughts. Morgana and Gwen stood before him, twirling dramatically in their dresses, and doing mock-model poses. "What do you think?"

"You both look beautiful," he replied, with a firm nod of the head, and a smile. He would've thought that would be enough, but it would appear not.

"You've said that to every dress, Merlin," Gwen sighed, as her and Morgana flopped into the sofa on either side of Merlin. It was clear that even the two of them were beginning to get tired, and Merlin's hopes of freedom were raised once more.

"I'm sorry, I just -"

"He wishes Arthur was here, don't you _Mer_lin?" Morgana interrupted him, copying Arthur's phrasing of his name perfectly. It was almost scary, how accurate she was. Merlin glared at her, which should have been a sign for her to stop. But, apparently, today just wasn't his day, and she carried on. "Merlin, when are you going to admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"Do we really have to spell it out for you, Merlin?" Gwen continued, and Merlin had to keep turning his head, back and forth, between the two of them. It was like watching tennis. "Honestly, the two of you are as bad as each other."

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." Merlin replied, though he was sure he knew _exactly _what they were talking about.

"Oh, for God's sake, Merlin!" Morgana cried, throwing her arms up in the air. And for one very scary moment, Merlin thought she was going to throw one of her tantrums. And he'd only been witness to Morgana's ragings before. They were _not _pretty. But then, all of a sudden, her voice got quieter, and slightly more sympathetic. "You _like _him."

"I do not!" Merlin objected, and suddenly, he didn't know where to look. It felt like his cheeks were on fire, but he tried to keep it together, trying to prove to them that they were wrong, and nothing was going on between him and Arthur.

"Merlin," Gwen said gently, and Merlin turned to her.

"What?" he snapped. He hadn't meant for it to come out so harshly, and was about to apologize, when he saw that both Gwen and Morgana were _laughing _at him.

"You're blushing!" Morgana laughed, and Merlin mumbled to himself, trying to hide his face from them behind his jacket. Merlin Emrys did not _blush._

"I am not!" he argued, trying to ignore how childish he looked and sounded. "And I don't like Arthur. Well, I _like _him, and everything . . . as a _friend! _But I don't . . . I don't _like-like _him . . . I don't . . . There's nothing going on between us, okay?"

"Whatever you say Merlin," Gwen said, again, with what Merlin now assumed was fake-sympathy. She patted his back gently, and got up to go back into the changing rooms. Morgana followed after her, going back into her own dressing room. Then, she popped her head round the corner, addressing Merlin again.

"Though you should know that Arthur blushed too,"

Before Merlin could ask what she meant, he heard Gwen roar with laughter, and Morgana ducked her head back round the corner. He sighed, sinking back into the seat. None of this would've happened, if he'd just stayed at home with Gaius, watching Doctor Who.

* * *

A few hours later, Arthur arrived back home from practice. It had been quite easy this morning, and he wasn't feeling at all tired this time. Instead, he felt rather refreshed. The morning air had done him some good. Coming through the front door, he dumped his training stuff on the floor by the entrance, and looked around. He could see, nor hear any sign of Morgana, Gwen, or Merlin, which must mean they were still out shopping. Arthur would've felt guilty for leaving Merlin, if the idea of him being stranded shopping with two girls wasn't so damn funny. Their absence, however, gave him the perfect opportunity to discuss a very important subject with his father.

Heading for the stairs, Arthur guessed his father would probably be in his study, this time of day. Uther Pendragon lived to a sort of day-to-day timetable. He had done for so long, that anyone who'd spent more than a week of their life with him, would know _exactly _where to find him, whenever they needed to. It was another thing that made Arthur's father so incredibly old-fashioned. He resented change.

Before he even had the time to think about what he was going to say, Arthur was at the door to his father's office. The door was closed, and there was no sound coming from inside at all. Still, it was like he could _sense _Uther's icy presence through the door. And he knew that if he didn't knock now, fear would consume him, and he'd end up backing down. He hadn't really spoken much to his father since their fight, but this was important. It was about Merlin's _safety. _And any childish arguments would have to wait. Swallowing a mix of pride and fear, Arthur raised his hand to the door, and knocked.

"Come in," came his father's cold voice from behind the door. Arthur took in a deep breath, before opening the door quickly. He didn't shut it behind him, nor did he enter the room. He simply stood in the doorway, looking across the room to his father. He was sat, as per usual, surrounded by documents, at his desk. Upon seeing Arthur, he slid off his reading glasses, placing them on a pile of papers, and clasped his hands in front of him, leaning forward eagerly. It reminded Arthur of films he'd seen, re-enactments of people watching someone being fed to a pack of lions in Roman times. "Ah, Arthur. What can I do for you?"

"I'm not here to apologize," Arthur stated, feeling he might as well get that out of the way straight away. Uther raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, simply gesturing for Arthur to enter the room. He did so, closing the door behind him, but did not sit. He hoped this conversation would be brief, and to the point. And he was surprised, at the strength in his own voice. Usually, his father instilled so much fear and resentment in him, that Arthur found it hard to even _attempt _to address him civilly, or _at all. _But this wasn't about him, it was about _Merlin. _Someone who mattered more to Arthur than he would care to admit. "I'm here because . . . I need to talk to you about something, something very important. And I need you to put all personal issues between us aside, because you're the only one who can deal with this properly."

"Fine, Arthur, what is it?" Uther asked, leaning back in his chair. Arthur ignored the slightly annoyed tone in his voice, and sat in the chair across from the desk.

"Someone's been . . . hurting my friend, and it's been going on for quite a while now," Arthur began, not really knowing what to say. At first, he'd had everything planned, but now, it seemed the words were just coming out of their own accord. "For how long, I'm not quite sure, possibly since he first came to this school. Apparently it's been happening on and off, but the most recent time . . . it got really bad. He pulled a knife on him, threatened him, and physically scarred him. I only found out about a week ago, and told him to back off, but . . . I don't really think it's enough. I'm worried for his safety, and I was hoping you'd be able to do something about it?"

"Arthur, if you want me to do anything about it, you're going to have to give me some names," Uther replied impassively.

"Mordred. Mordred Camlann. He's been hurting Merlin," Arthur replied shortly. He didn't realize he'd been looking at the floor, until he almost _heard _his father's jaw drop. Still, when he looked up, his father's expression was completely composed, and devoid of all emotion. He did, however, slightly raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"Merlin Emyrs?" he asked, his voice now sounding slightly shocked. Arthur nodded curtly, and his father couldn't help but be surprised. Arthur had never so much as batted an eyelid at the Emyrs boy, and yet, here he was, worried for his safety? Uther could tell though, that it was genuinely bothering his son, even if he didn't want to show it.

"I'm sure you're aware that most of the things he's done to Merlin are _crimes, _and definitely worth being expelled for. Not to mention the physiological damage he's done to him. I trust you will treat this situation with respect, and caution, and that you realize how serious this really is. If you neglect to do anything about it, and allow it to continue, you know I'll probably never forgive you."

"You really care for this boy."

"I don't really believe that's any of your business, at least, not anymore." Arthur replied, and Uther said nothing again. For once, the tables had been turned, and Arthur was now the one in control. Uther was unused to being challenged, or ordered around, though Arthur had to say he found it quite fun, being the boss for once. "Do I have your word, that you'll do your best to make sure Mordred _never _comes near Merlin again?"

"You have my word,"

* * *

**~ Sunday, 18:00pm ~**

I'm so sorry! - Merlin

_And what could you possibly have to apologize for? - A_

We haven't spoken in weeks! - Merlin

_You don't have to apologize Merlin, I understand. - A_

You do? - Merlin

_Yeah, I saw what happened in the canteen with Arthur and Mordred. - A_

Oh, you saw, huh? - Merlin

_Are you okay? Is that why you haven't spoken to me in a while? Or are you getting bored of me already? - A ;)_

No, of course not! - Merlin

_It's okay, Merlin, I was only joking. - A_

Sorry, it's just . . . there was a lot going on, with Arthur _and _Mordred. Things got pretty messed up, on the Mordred end of things. And Arthur . . . I think he may have saved my life, kind of. Mordred got pretty . . . intense. If Arthur hadn't stopped him, I don't know what he would've done . . . Sorry for being so vague, it's just, that's all I really want to say about it. - Merlin

_It's fine, honestly. So are you and Arthur friends now? I saw you sitting with him? - A_

You really weren't joking when you said you watched me sometimes, were you? - Merlin

_Does it bother you? - A_

Not really. It's nice, in a way. Shows that somebody cares, I guess. And about me and Arthur, yeah, I guess we kind of are. It's . . . a strange relationship. - Merlin

_Do you like him? - A_

Yeah, he's a good friend. - Merlin

_Merlin, you and I both know that's not what I meant. - A_

No, of course not! - Merlin

_He likes you, though. It's obvious, even to me. - A_

Are we talking about the same person? Arthur Pendragon, fancy _me, _of all people? - Merlin

_It wouldn't be _that _unusual. - A_

If you lived in a parallel universe! - Merlin

_Oh come off it! I've seen the way he looks at you. - A_

Yes, with annoyance, and slightly veiled contempt. - Merlin

_Merlin, why else would he have stopped Mordred? - A_

Common decency? - Merlin

_Fine, believe what you want, but he clearly likes you. The way he looks at you, I'm telling you. Signs like that just can't be misread. And you know I'm not the only one who thinks so. - A_

Well obviously, we're not looking at the same person. - Merlin

_Maybe one of us just isn't looking hard enough. - A_

* * *

**Well? Let me know what you thought, REVIEW! :D**


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Hey guys!**

**So I'm glad that you liked the last chapter, as it did take quite a while to write. I'm sorry about the slow update, but I had another story to update as well, and exams all week, so that's why the update's been a little slower this week.**

**Kelll made a very good point, that Merlin got over Arthur's bullying a little too fast. I completely agree with you, as I don't think I'd get over something that fast if it happened to me. I guess, the only explanation I can give for that is I wanted Merlin to be a very forgiving person. He saw that Arthur was truly sorry, and especially after he saved him from Mordred, he sort of couldn't not forgive him. I know that's still not a very good explanation, but I completely see where you're coming from, and I could have made their friendship a bit more gradual.**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris  
YouTube: MyNamesNotDorris  
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* * *

Merlin was walking home from school a few days later, when he got a text. He slowed to pull his phone out of his pocket, and glanced quickly at the screen. He sighed, looking around him.

_Come over?.x - Morgana_

_K. - Merlin_

He sighed, changing his route. He'd call Gaius later, depending on how long this was going to take. Obviously, Morgana wanted to talk to him about something. But about what, he didn't know. She'd seemed perfectly fine at school, so why she was asking him to come over now, he couldn't understand. Not that he was complaining. He had nothing to do tonight, so it wasn't as if she was interrupting anything. Still, he had a feeling already that whatever she wanted him for, it wouldn't be good.

All day, she'd been throwing him funny glances, Gwen too. He'd just turn around in a lesson, and there the two of them would be, just . . . _staring _at him. Then they'd do that perfectly synchronized evil grin that they'd been doing lately, and turn away. And Merlin didn't like it, he didn't like it one bit. Because he had a feeling that they had something planned, and whenever the two of them got together to plan something . . . it never ended well. The last time they'd planned something, him and Arthur had ended up sharing a bed. (Not that that experience had been _entirely _bad.)

Arthur had said he'd talked to his father about Mordred, and that Uther had said he'd look into it. He hadn't really said much more about it, and Merlin guessed it was probably because there wasn't much more to tell. From what he could see, Arthur and his father hadn't been talking much lately, if at all. It seemed like talking about Mordred was one of the few, if the only conversations they'd had in weeks. It was weird to think that Arthur cared about his safety that much, he'd stopped fighting with his father for it, even if only for a few moments. He knew how stubborn Arthur could be, so that was a big thing for him.

Merlin rounded the corner to the Pendragon's house, and it suddenly hit him that, ever since he'd become friends with Arthur, he was coming to their house more and more often. It was becoming almost like a second home. And he wasn't just going there for Morgana any more either, but he tried not to think about that too much. His . . . feelings for Arthur were getting very confusing. And Morgana and Gwen _really _weren't helping. Whatever they had planned, he hoped to _God _that it didn't involve Arthur, but he doubted it.

He made his way towards the door, hoping that it wouldn't be Uther that would answer. Too many questions, and he might even bring up the Mordred Thing, and Merlin _really _didn't want to talk about that, especially not with _Uther Pendragon, _of all people. He wanted it sorted out, of course, just with as little involvement from him as possible. And it seemed, so far, that Uther was keeping things on a need-to-know basis, which was good. He hadn't approached Merlin, or Mordred, as far as Merlin knew, and he was glad. But it could only mean one of two things; Uther was really thinking it through, and gathering information, or he didn't think it was worth his time, and had completely forgotten about it already. Merlin was hoping for the former.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, and upon his third knock, the door swung open dramatically to reveal . . .

_Arthur._

Alright, Morgana was definitely planning something. Merlin didn't know how, but he just _knew. _This was all part of Morgana and Gwen's weird plan to . . . well Merlin didn't really know _what _they were trying to do exactly. Although, since it involved him and Arthur, based on the events of a few nights ago, it wasn't hard to guess what they were trying to do. Merlin only hoped Arthur hadn't figured it out too. He didn't want things to be awkward between them.

"That _bitch," _Merlin muttered under his breath, laughing a little. Arthur raised an eyebrow, obviously having heard what he said and Merlin sighed. "Morgana . . . she's not here, is she?"

"She left about five minutes ago, said she had something _very important _to do. I _assume _that 'very important thing' is shacking up with Leon, but I try not to judge," Arthur replied sarcastically, and Merlin laughed. Morgana and Leon weren't exactly keeping their relationship quiet, to say the least.

"I thought as much," Merlin shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Well, sorry for wasting your time,"

Merlin turned on his heel, and hunched his shoulders a little, trying to keep himself from the cold. Arthur stood, confused for a moment, before shaking himself a little. He stepped out onto the driveway, shouting over to Merlin.

"Merlin, wait!" Arthur yelled, and Merlin couldn't help but notice his socks. They were purple, covered with small pictures of Spongebob Squarepants and Gary the Snail. They were just so . . . bright, and so . . . not-Arthur. Merlin couldn't help but laugh, and Arthur looked down at his feet, suddenly embarrassed. He shrugged; "I . . ."

"No," Merlin grinned, "I like them. It's good to know that even the infamous Arthur Pendragon has his weaknesses, even if one of them happens to be a certain yellow little sponge. It's nice to know that not everybody's perfect, even you."

Arthur laughed, and gestured towards the house; "I hate to think you've had a wasted journey . . . Do you, um . . . do you want to come in? My father's out, so he won't mind."

And so Merlin nodded, following those ridiculous socks into Arthur's house, and up towards his room.

* * *

"So . . . you think I'm perfect?" Arthur teased, glancing over to Merlin on the other side of the room. They'd decided to get something to eat, and were currently scouring the kitchen for something that Merlin _could _actually eat. It seemed the scrawny village boy was allergic to just about _every food that existed. _Not only that, but he was also a vegetarian, so finding something that Merlin could eat, was proving a difficult task.

"W-What?" Merlin stuttered, poking his head around the door of the fridge. Arthur had absolutely no idea what to look for, so Merlin had decided to look instead. The Pendragons just had _so _much food. It was more than him and Hunith had gotten in a week, back in Ealdor. Arthur was sat on the counter-top across the room, as Merlin piled boxes of food next to him.

"Before, you said; '_It's nice to know that not everybody's perfect, even you.'" _Arthur replied, sounding a _lot _more confident than he felt.

"I . . . that's not what I meant," Merlin said quickly, ducking his head back into the fridge, trying to hide his growing blush. This was uncharted territory for him and Arthur, and Merlin wasn't even entirely sure if Arthur knew what he was doing. It was obvious he was joking, but Merlin wondered if he wasn't just imagining the genuine curiosity in the young Pendragon's voice.

"And what _did_ you mean?" Arthur asked, hopping off the counter-top, and raising an eyebrow. Merlin resisted the urge to turn round. Arthur was getting incredibly close, and he didn't seem to be stopping. Just the idea of turning round, and feeling Arthur's breath on his face . . . It was too strange to even think about. Still, Merlin's heart skipped several beats at the thought.

"I . . ." Merlin began, when suddenly, Arthur was right behind him, and Merlin _had _to turn round. Otherwise, the situation would have gotten increasingly more awkward than it already was . . . for the _both _of them. He turned, closing the fridge, and backed up a little, so he was right up against it. It was the largest amount of distance he could put between him and Arthur, at that moment in time. "I just meant that . . . everyone perceives you as this perfect, flawless person, super-human almost. They treat you like a God, and worship the ground you walk on. I just think that's a little too much to expect of a person. Because people aren't like that. They're flawed, and they make mistakes. It's just nice to know that I was right."

"You got all that . . . from a pair of socks?" Arthur asked, looking slightly sceptical. Merlin shook his head, and cleared his throat. Something about having Arthur so . . . _close . . . _it was doing things to his mind. Very not good, scary, wonderful things.

"It's a theory I've had in progress for a while now," Merlin shrugged, and Arthur laughed a little. The sound sent shivers down Merlin's spine, reminding him again, of how close they were. They were so close now, that the tips of their shoes were touching, and Merlin actually _could _feel Arthur's breath on his face now.

"You really are a mystery, Merlin Emrys," he laughed again, pushing himself away from the fridge, and Merlin let out a breath he wasn't even aware he'd been holding. He gave a nervous laugh, as Arthur jumped back onto the counter-top again.

"A great puzzle for the mind, that's me,"

He winced at his own pathetic attempt at banter, and opened the fridge once more. As Arthur shook his head at his own stupidity, Merlin attempted to hide his blush among the contents of Arthur's fridge.

* * *

Later that night, Arthur and Merlin walked back to Merlin's house. They'd talked for a while, both of them becoming completely unaware of the time. Most of their time had been spend talking in Arthur's room. Morgana had come back a while later, but had only poked her head round the door, than ran away (what could only be described as) cackling. Uther had been in the house the whole time, but was completely unaware that he even had a guest. He was like that though, Merlin had learned. He doubted that, if he and Uther passed in the street, he would even know who he was. Even though he'd been friends with his daughter for a few years now at least.

"Have you solved it yet?" Merlin asked, hands back in his pockets. Arthur walked along beside him, a now appropriate amount of space between them, making it a lot easier for Merlin to think. It was dark now, but in the glow of the street-lamps, Arthur looked just as perfect as ever. And Merlin hoped to God that Arthur couldn't read minds. Wouldn't want his ego getting any bigger than it already was.

"Solved what?" Arthur asked, cocking his head to the side as they walked. They were nearing Merlin's house now, but neither of them quite wanted the conversation to end. It was ridiculous, they'd been with each other pretty much all day, in, and out of school, and yet they still didn't want it to end.

"The 'Great Mystery' that is me," Merlin said sarcastically, and gave a little laugh, accompanied by a grin from Arthur.

"No, not yet," Arthur replied, and they turned onto Merlin's street. Merlin's house was only a few down, and they were in front of it before they even had chance to end the conversation. So they didn't. They walked up to the door, but neither made any move to leave. They simply stood, on the doorstep. "And I don't think I ever will, I'm afraid. But maybe that's for the best."

"How so?" Merlin asked, and it was his turn to look confused. Arthur took a few steps closer, and Merlin's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't . . . he _wouldn't . . . _would he? Arthur lifted a hand to Merlin's face, brushing a hair out of his eyes.

"Because then I'd have to come up with a new reason to constantly be around you," Arthur whispered, and Merlin saw him lean in. He knew what was coming, they both did. But Merlin's brain went into overdrive, and he didn't seem to be able to stop the words tumbling out of his mouth.

"I thought you wanted to 'protect me'?" he asked, and Arthur pulled back for a moment. His hand was still on Merlin's face, and it was quite obvious what was going to happen. Still, Merlin wasn't pushing him away, so that must mean _something._

"Do you always have to be such a clotpole, Merlin?" Arthur teased, and Merlin looked confused again.

"You know, I'm not even sure that's a wo-"

Luckily, Merlin was cut off before he could carry on. By Arthur's lips on his.

* * *

**Well? I know it was short, but I was really stuck on this chapter for a while. I hope it was alright? REVIEW! :D**


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Hey guys!**

**I know the last chapter was a bit of a cliff-hanger, but at least it was a good one, right? I hope so, anyway. This might be a little later than usual, but that's only because I just finished another fic of mine, and have now started another one, but updates should be regular again from now on. And if not, you have permission to bug me about it as much as you want.**

**Thanks for all of your reviews, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

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tumblr: MyName'sNotDorris (you-cant-contain-my-awesomeness)  
Twitter: NamesNotDorris**

* * *

Merlin woke the next morning with a smile on his face. For the first time in . . . a _very _long time, he felt . . . great. As his vision began to get clearer, he remembered what had happened the night before, and his smile only got wider. Swinging his legs out of the bed, and sitting up, he ran a hand through his tangled hair, replaying the moment in his head as many times as he could. He never wanted to forget it.

Kissing Arthur had been everything he'd imagined - no, - _better. _It had been . . . Merlin didn't even think there were enough words in the English language to describe that kiss. And though it had only been a brief twelve seconds (yes, he'd counted), it had felt like it lasted for hours. Even just thinking about it, filled Merlin with a feeling of great happiness and pleasure. It hadn't been Merlin's first kiss, but it felt like it was. It felt like . . . like no other kiss could possibly compare to it, like they were on an entirely different level.

Arthur had pulled away first, keeping his hand on Merlin's cheek. Merlin felt for sure that they were going to be caught out by Gaius, but for some reason, he didn't particularly care. Any time spent with Arthur, was worth the risk of getting caught. Merlin had felt for sure that he was going to apologize, or say it was all Merlin's fault. He knew it was a stupid thing to think, but he'd seen these things happen before. A confused popular guy, who doesn't quite understand his sexuality, takes it out on another kid of the same sexuality who can't defend themselves. He felt for sure that that was how it was going to work out.

But nothing of the sort happened.

Instead, Arthur simply whispered; "_Goodnight, Merlin." _and pressed another shadow of a kiss on his lips. Merlin had tried his best to remain calm, at least until Arthur was halfway down the street. Then he let the manic, cat-got-the-cream grin spread across his face. He wasn't sure how long he stayed out there; just long enough for his happiness to subside just a little, so that Gaius wouldn't ask questions. Little did he know, halfway down the street, Arthur's expression mirrored his perfectly.

Pulling on a t-shirt, and standing up, Merlin began to pace the room.

What did it _mean? _He'd been _kissed _by Arthur _bloody-_Pendragon of all people! . . . And he'd liked it. It didn't make any sense. Just a few weeks ago, Merlin had _hated _Arthur. Now, all he could think about, was his lips on Arthur's again. There was no logical explanation. People didn't just suddenly develop feelings for someone they'd spent years hating.

Arthur had changed though, Merlin was sure of that, but he just didn't know where it had all come from. Why had Arthur suddenly decided to stop taunting him? Why had he stopped Mordred? Why was he being his friend? And most importantly of all; why had he kissed him?

There were many possible explanations, of course, but Merlin wasn't quite sure he believed any of them. It was possible, for example, that Arthur was doing it for a dare, or a bet. See how far he could push the nerdy little poof that never stuck up for himself. But then Merlin knew that Arthur would never do that. He wasn't sure how he knew, he just did. It was also possible, that Arthur was suffering from some kind of mental affliction that he didn't know about. Okay, so maybe that theory wasn't _entirely _plausible, but Merlin wanted to take all possibilities into account. Or maybe, Arthur had an evil twin that -

_Don't be ridiculous! _Merlin thought to himself. His theories were becoming more and more insane as he carried on, and yet he couldn't bring himself to consider the most likely of all of them. It was possible, perhaps, there was the _tiniest _possibility . . . that Arthur liked him?

One thing was for sure though, as Merlin's fingertips brushed where Arthur's lips had met his. He'd fallen for Arthur Pendragon. And he'd fallen _hard. _There was no hiding any more, no way he could deny it. It was plain for even him to see, and Morgana and Gwen had been right all along. He had feelings for Arthur, and there was no going back on it. _Bloody hell, _Merlin thought to himself. _What have I gotten myself into?_

_This prat really is going to be the death of me._

* * *

Later that day, Arthur returned from school upon receiving a text from his father, saying they needed to "talk". Whatever it was, Arthur did _not _like the sound of it, and was not looking forward to this "talk". He hadn't spoken to his father since asking him for help with Mordred. He only hoped that his father had been able to do _something _right for once. If not for him, then for Merlin, at least.

He threw his bag to the side, and made his way up to his father's study. He wanted this conversation to be brief, and to-the-point, as most of their conversations were. Arthur preferred it that way. The more time he spent in his father's company, the more he couldn't wait to be out of school, out of this house, and as far away from Uther as he could possibly get. He'd visit Morgana of course, once he'd moved far away enough, but he just wanted to get away from his father. That was the main thing.

He jogged quickly up the stairs, rethinking the day in his head.

Ever since last night, he hadn't spoken a word to Merlin. Not because he didn't want to, of course, he just hadn't had the chance. He'd gotten to school just as the bell rang, meaning he had to rush straight to form class, or risk getting a late detention. And he'd been pulled out of all his classes that day, for some extra revising for all his exams. It had been unfortunate, but Arthur honestly didn't know what he'd have said to Merlin, if he had gotten to see him. At lunch and break time, Arthur had been informed that Morgana, Gwen, and Merlin had to do a Drama rehearsal, so he'd sat with Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan and Lancelot instead.

It had been fun, sitting with his old friends again, but the whole time, he couldn't stop thinking about Merlin. He hoped though that, in a few days or weeks' time, his two friendship groups would be able to come together, and maybe then, he wouldn't have to feel so guilty for ditching either of them.

He raised his hand to knock on the door, and upon his second knock, it flew open to reveal a stony-looking Uther Pendragon.

Arthur didn't like the look of it already, and he sighed, as he entered the study. He chose not to sit down, as that would imply that the conversation was going to be a long one. Instead, he stood, hands behind his back, waiting for his father to sit down.

"Well, what is it?" Arthur asked impatiently. He wanted to be in and out as soon as possible.

"I'd like to talk to you, about the matter of Mr Emyrs and Mr Camlann." Uther replied, and Arthur couldn't help but roll his eyes. Uther looked at him quizzically, not quite understanding the source of his annoyance.

"This isn't a business deal! For God's sake, can you just try, for _once, _to feel some kind of compassion?" Arthur cried, throwing his arms up in the air, and pacing. "Just . . . try to imagine what this is _doing _to Merlin. It may be a serious situation, but do you have to treat it so coldly?"

"Okay, okay, you're right. I'm sorry," Uther replied. But he didn't sound sorry. Still, Arthur knew it was as good as he was going to get, so he gestured for his father to continue. "I'm afraid that there's nothing I can do."

"_What?!" _Arthur yelled, turning around and slamming his hands on the table. Uther didn't even flinch. He barely even batted an eyelid at his son's outburst, simply raising a slightly greying eyebrow. "What do you mean there's _nothing_ you can _do?"_

"Arthur, there's no _evidence. _There's literally nothing to suggest that your accusations are true. I'm not saying that I don't believe you, because I do. But the accusations that you made, as I'm sure you are aware, are _extremely _serious. I can't act on them, however, unless there's something to prove them. And so far, I've found nothing."

"Have you even _tried?" _Arthur spat, pushing himself off of the desk, and running his hands through his hair.

"Of course I tried! I even got Mordred into my office, but of course he denied it. I even tried to talk to Mr Emyrs, but he didn't seem to want to talk about it." Uther continued, but the rage behind Arthur's eyes built up even more.

"You didn't need to bring _Merlin _into this! I wanted him as far removed as possible. It was incredibly traumatic for him, and the only thing that he needs right now, is Mordred gone!"

"Well I'm sorry Arthur, but unless you can convince him to talk to me, there's nothing I can do."

"Well I'm sorry too. Sorry for thinking that you could do the right thing for once!" Arthur yelled, kicking the chair across from his father's desk as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door loudly behind him.

* * *

**~ Thursday, 17:00pm ~**

_You there? - A_

Yeah, I'm here. What's going on? - Merlin

_I've got something I want to tell you. - A_

Alright then, go ahead. - Merlin

_Just . . . promise you won't think differently of me afterwards? - A_

I promise. - Merlin

_I . . . God, I don't know how to tell you this. I didn't want to tell you. At least, not like this. - A_

What are you talking about? - Merlin

_I like you, Merlin. - A_

You . . . why are you telling me this now? - Merlin

_Because I thought you deserved to know. - A_

But I don't even know you! - Merlin

_You do. You just don't know it's me. - A_

That doesn't help at all. What do you expect me to say now? - Merlin

_I don't expect you to say anything. I just thought you should know. - A_

But . . . how is that fair? You can't tell me you have feelings for me, and then not tell me who you are. - Merlin

_I wish I could tell you, but . . . I don't know. - A_

You're scared. - Merlin

_I think so, yeah. - A_

But you have nothing to be scared _of. _- Merlin

_You. I'm scared of you. My feelings for you, and what you'll think of me when you find out who I really am. - A_

I won't think any less of you, I promise. - Merlin

_You promise that now, but you can't know for sure. - A_

Will you ever tell me? - Merlin

_I suppose I'll have to, eventually. - A_

Is that it? - Merlin

_What? - A_

You tell me you have feelings for me, and that's it, is it? I'm just expected to accept that, am I? - Merlin

_I don't know, I just . . . there's not a whole lot more to say. - A_

What's scaring you, really? - Merlin

_That you might like someone else, once you find out who I am. - A_

That's what's scaring you? - Merlin

_Well do you? - A_

Do I what? - Merlin

_Stop avoiding the subject Merlin. Do you like someone else? - A_

I think I might. - Merlin

* * *

**Well? I know it was kind of short, but let me know what you thought of it anyway! REVIEW! :D**


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry that it's been so long! I've had so much to do, but I'm not going to make any excuses. I know the last chapter didn't end on much of a cliff-hanger, but I'm sorry for making you wait so long!**

**A few of you were asking about Mordred, and no, there is going to be no more drama with Mordred, I promise. It's all about Merlin and Arthur now, as we're already nearing the end of the story! There's now about five or six chapters left, so I wanted to ask you guys a question.**

**I'm thinking of writing another Merthur fic after this one. It'll be loosely based on the plots of the movies Timer, and In Time. Only loosely, so you wouldn't have to have seen either of them, to understand the plot. I haven't seen Timer anyway, I just liked one of the ideas mentioned in it. Anyway, if you'd be interested in that, let me know?**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**YouTube: MyNamesNotDorris**

**tumblr: MyName'sNotDorris (you-cant-contain-my-awesomeness)**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris**

* * *

The next day, Merlin rushed into Science class. He already knew he was late, and there was only a few minutes left of the lesson. He'd overslept, as his alarm clock had run out of batteries. He was still putting on his tie, as he threw himself through the door, and into the class. His blazer was hanging off of his shoulder, and his hair was sticking up on end. He heard a small eruption of laughter begin, as the teacher raised a slightly amused eyebrow. Merlin shrugged, handing in the late mark paper he'd been given, before wandering over to his seat.

It was the first time he'd seen Arthur since they'd kissed, and Merlin could feel a blush creeping up his neck. Still, Arthur said nothing, simply continued to stare ahead, as Merlin sat down next to him uncomfortably. Arthur was leaning forward in his chair, hands clasped in front of his mouth, as if he were in deep thought. He didn't seem to be paying attention to the lesson, as always, so Merlin had to wonder what was going on. Normally, he would've at least greeted him by now, or called him an idiot for running in late.

"Arthur?" Merlin leaned over to whisper to him. Arthur turned slightly, putting his hands back on the desk. Merlin raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Is something wrong?"

Arthur shook his head, turning back to face the front of the classroom again.

Was that it? Arthur wasn't even going to tease him, or insult him? And he wasn't even going to acknowledge what happened between them either? It didn't make any sense. Merlin wasn't exactly an expert in relationships, but he knew enough about them to know that, after you kiss someone, you can't just ignore them. Usually, when you kiss someone, it means that you like them, that you have feelings for them. It felt like every time he and Arthur took a step forward in their . . . friendship, Arthur decided to take two steps back again. And it was getting hard for Merlin to keep up.

"Are you going to talk to me at all?" Merlin tried again, leaning forward.

Arthur didn't even look at him this time, he simply shrugged, pretending to be scribbling something in his notebook. Merlin probably would've stopped there, if he wasn't so _bloody _confused. He peered over Arthur's shoulder, wondering what he was doing in his notebook that was apparently so interesting. But Arthur nudged Merlin away, turning his back on him even further. Merlin grabbed his shoulder, trying to force him to look at him, but Arthur was stronger.

He didn't understand. He'd thought they were on the same page for once. He'd thought that all of this was over, and that they'd worked through everything, and come out the other side. What had changed in the space of two days?

Merlin tried to think. Was there anything he'd done that might have annoyed Arthur? Anything he might've done to anger him at all? He couldn't think of anything. The last time they'd seen each other, was when they'd kissed. So why Arthur wasn't talking to him, Merlin couldn't understand, as it was obviously some problem that he had with Merlin, despite him not having done anything whatsoever.

"Arthur, you can't just -" Merlin began, but was interrupted by the sound of the school bell ringing, signalling the start of break. He gathered his books, shoving them back into his bag, as Arthur did the same. The teacher dismissed them warily, and Arthur stormed out of the classroom.

But Merlin wasn't done just yet. He slung his back over his shoulder, and took off after Arthur, pushing his way through people in the hallways. For once, he wanted to get a straight answer out of Arthur, something that never seemed to happen. And Merlin felt like there was something he was missing. Something that Arthur wasn't telling him. Something that he was hiding. And Merlin wanted desperately to know what it was. And he swore, sometimes, he was _so close _to getting it, but then it slipped away again. And Arthur thought Merlin was the enigma.

The part that Merlin found hardest to understand, was why Arthur wouldn't even explain to him what was wrong. Did he think Merlin was just going to leave it there, and forget about it? Did he think Merlin would let him get away with that? After everything they'd been through?

That was when Merlin was struck with a thought. A terrible thought, that he knew he shouldn't have been thinking. What if none of it had been real? What if he'd been right, when he'd wondered if it was all just a game? Maybe Arthur had just been messing with him, to see how far he could get? And maybe the kiss had been that step too far. Maybe Arthur had freaked out, and decided to end the whole incredible facade, before it went too far?

Or what if . . . what if it had been real, in the beginning, before Arthur had gotten to know him properly? What if it was the kiss that had changed his mind? What if that was when he'd realized that he deserved someone so much better than Merlin? Or that Merlin just wasn't good enough for him?

It didn't even bare thinking about, either of them, and Merlin didn't _want _to be thinking about it. It was better just to hear the truth, otherwise, his thoughts might just consume him, and he might even begin believing them. And that was bad, very bad.

_"Arthur!"_

Merlin called out, causing Arthur to turn round. A tall, blonde head, among a sea of people. Arthur seemed to think for a moment, pausing among the people. He looked as if he was about to walk away again, and looked as if he was thinking very hard. The time it took him to pause, was enough to allow Merlin to get at least a little bit closer.

Just before Merlin was about to approach him, Arthur gestured, before disappearing behind a corner. Merlin followed him instinctively without even giving it a second's thought. He watched as Arthur walked ahead of him, trying to refrain himself from shouting at him. He wanted to give Arthur the benefit of the doubt, and believe that he would tell him the truth, once they were alone.

Arthur turned, at the end of the hallway, his arms crossed. He leaned against the wall, waiting for Merlin to catch up with him. And Merlin couldn't help but think that, even as angry as he was, he'd never seen anyone look more attractive. Arthur ran a hand through his hair, and Merlin couldn't help but remember how those hands had felt in _his _hair. On his _waist. _And how Arthur's lips had felt against his -

"What do you want, Merlin?" Arthur asked, and Merlin couldn't believe he even had the _nerve _to look annoyed. Arthur's tone snapped Merlin right out of his reverie, and back into reality. And Arthur was annoyed at _him!_ If anything, it should be the other way around.

"I _want _to know what the hell is going on!" Merlin yelled. He didn't think he'd started that angry, but the look on Arthur's face as if it was _his _fault, had just made him lose it completely. Merlin wasn't even a particularly angry person at the best of times, but when he cared about someone, or something, that was when he got _really _angry. He may not be an angry person, but he was certainly a passionate one. And this was something he certainly felt passionate about.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur replied, looking down at the floor. Suddenly, all the anger was gone, and Arthur just looked . . . sad. But Merlin wasn't finished.

"Yes you bloody well do, and don't tell me for even a second that you don't!" he cried, and Arthur shrunk back a little. Merlin was well aware he was getting a bit too angry, talking a little _too _loudly, but honestly, he didn't think he cared anymore. "Or have you completely forgotten the last forty-eight hours? I'll fill you in then, shall I? Let's see . . . your sister, and my best friend, invited me over to your house, in a plan to get you and me together. You let me stay there, and when you walked me home, you kissed me. _You _kissed _me, _Arthur, not the other way around. _I'm _not the one who should be explaining myself!"

"I . . . it's complicated," Arthur said, still not looking Merlin in the eye.

"Was it all a game?" Merlin asked quietly, and Arthur almost missed what he said completely.

"_What?" _Arthur asked in disbelief.

"Was it all a game? See if you could get close to the poofy little village boy? See how much you could mess with him, see if the rumours were true? Who set it up? Or was it all your idea? You know what, I bet it was, wasn't it? See how long it'd take to break me? Or were you just looking for someone to boost your ego? Well, which was it?" Merlin yelled, getting increasingly angrier. Once the words were out, it seemed that there was no stopping them, they just kept spilling out of his mouth, as if he had no control over them at all. "It was a game, wasn't it? Batting my heart around like a rubber ball, playing with my feelings for your own amusement. Maybe you were just bored, and thought you'd go looking for your own fun -"

"_Stop it!" _Arthur yelled, taking a step towards Merlin, but Merlin wasn't backing down.

"Which. One. Was. It?!" Merlin spat, his breathing becoming ragged, both from ranting, and from pure nerves.

"None of them! This isn't a game, Merlin, I can't believe you'd even think that!" Arthur replied, stepping back, and running a hand through his hair again. God, how Merlin longed to touch that hair again.

"How could I not? What with you changing your mind every fucking two minutes!" Merlin bit back, and Arthur sighed. Both of them were breathing raggedly now, and Merlin's eyes were dark with anger. "Could you just tell the truth for once in your _life, _Arthur? Just tell me what's going on, because I don't see the point if you're just going to keep shutting me out like -"

Merlin was cut off by Arthur's lips on his.

And he had to admit, it wasn't the _worst _way of getting him to shut up.

* * *

After a good few minutes of Arthur "shutting Merlin up", the raven-haired boy started to come to his senses again. Although kissing Arthur was like . . . well, there were quite literally no words to describe it, Merlin knew it was just Arthur's way of avoiding the conversation, and Merlin still wasn't about to back down just yet. Arthur still hadn't given him an answer, and Merlin could tell by the way he was kissing him, that he was still angry. But his kisses were tinged with something else. Desperation, and . . . even a little sadness. Merlin couldn't take it any longer.

With all the strength a boy of his stature possessed, Merlin shoved Arthur back against the wall, breaking the kiss.

Both of them were really gasping for breath now, and Merlin's eyes were drawn to Arthur's perfectly ruffled hair that he'd been running his fingers through just minutes before. He wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, but he knew that he couldn't. He had to get the answers that he deserved. Not before he caught his breath though, which was proving quite difficult. Whenever he was around Arthur, it was like the air had been sucked out of his lungs, and he'd just been left to fend for himself.

He leaned back against the opposite wall, and he saw the expression on Arthur's face soften once more. Merlin didn't know what was worse, seeing Arthur angry, or seeing Arthur sad. He decided it was the second. Seeing features that perfect, that wonderful, that _beautiful _contorted into an expression of such sadness, it just seemed wrong. Not only that, but it was almost a little heart-breaking.

"I never lied to you Merlin, not about how I feel about you," Arthur whispered, walking over to where Merlin stood. He reached out a hand, but Merlin shook his head, stepping away from the blonde.

"Neither did I," Merlin replied, and Arthur looked at him, confused. He could feel the 'but' coming already. "But none of what's happened between us means anything if you can't be honest with me. That's all I ask, is that you're honest, that's it. But it seems you can't even do that. Just _tell _me what I did wrong, so that I can fix it."

"You didn't do anything," Arthur murmured, looking down at the floor.

"Well then what's the problem?" Merlin asked, stepping back towards Arthur. It was getting harder and harder for him to walk away. He lifted Arthur's head so that he was looking him in the eye.

"I . . . I can't . . ." Merlin dropped his hand, and Arthur shook his head. "I'm sorry Merlin, I wish I could tell you but . . . I can't . . . I'm sorry, I . . . I have to go."

Merlin stepped back, letting Arthur walk away. The blonde shot him one last pained look, before making his was back down the hallway, leaving Merlin stood there alone, his back to the wall.

As he watched Arthur disappear back down the hallway, Merlin buried his head in his hands. Sometimes, he wished he'd never even gotten involved with Arthur, not that it had really been his choice in the first place. If it wasn't for Mordred and Morgana, Arthur and Merlin probably could have carried on as they were, insulting each other, and trading sarcastic comments. Merlin didn't think he would've preferred it that way, but it sure as hell would have been a _lot _less complicated.

He just hoped that all of this was worth it in the end, because otherwise, he really didn't see the point. It wasn't worth going through all this confusion, pain, and suffering, if something good wasn't going to come out of it in the end.

* * *

As Merlin sat at the end of the hallway, unable to find the motivation to move, he pulled out his phone. If there was one person who could make sense of all this, it was Morgana. Ever since he'd first met her, no matter how annoying, over-confident, and occasionally selfish she could be, she was always the one that Merlin went to when he had a problem. She was always there for him, and always had the solution, no matter what the problem was.

**What's going on with Arthur?**

**_Why? What's going on?_**

**If I tell you, will you promise not to freak out?**

**_Promise._**

**We kissed.**

**_You WHAT?! When? Where? I want details, Emyrs. Was it good?_**

**We kissed, a few days ago, outside my house. And yes, it was good.**

**_So you kissed, you enjoyed it . . . I'm failing to see the problem here._**

**You and me both. He just got really angry all of a sudden, and started ignoring me. I confronted him about it, and he said it's not my fault, but he can't talk about it. He kissed me again, but then he looked really sad and walked away. It doesn't make any sense.**

**_Hang on, he's coming towards me now, let me ask._**

**~ Five minutes later. ~**

**So what is it?**

**_I'm sorry Merlin, but I can't tell you._**

**You have got to be kidding me.**

**_I swore to him that I wouldn't tell you. Honestly though, I don't see how you haven't gotten it by now._**

**What are you talking about?**

**_Merlin, you're the smartest person I know, you'll figure it out eventually._**

**Figure what out?**

**Morgana?**

**Hello?**

* * *

**Well? What did you think? I know it wasn't my best, but honestly, I got major writer's block with this chapter. It's been a while since I've written anything, but I promise you it'll be better soon. REVIEW! :D**


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Hey guys!**

**So I'm glad that you liked the last chapter, and thanks for all of your reviews! I do hope that this chapter will be better, though I'm still experiencing slight writer's block again. I think it's mostly because I had to move some chapters around, and add a few extra ones to improve the ending a little, so I gave myself very little description for the last few chapters. Anyway, I hope that this goes okay!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris  
Tumblr: MyName'sNotDorris (you-cant-contain-my-awesomeness)  
YouTube: MyNamesNotDorris**

* * *

"Are you sure there's no other way?"

Arthur was sat in the school canteen, arguing with his sister, Morgana. They were sat at their usual table, in the back corner, minus two of their usual companions, Merlin and Gwen. Arthur doubted Merlin even wanted to be in the same room as him right now, after what had happened between them earlier. There was no way Merlin was going to sit with them today, and it was more than likely that he'd convinced Gwen to do the same. In fact, Arthur was counting on it.

"I'm sure," Morgana replied sternly, fixing Arthur with an extremely intimidating and steely gaze. She could be _very _scary when she wanted to be, not unlike Uther sometimes. It was a characteristic that they definitely shared.

"Does it have to be now though?" he asked again, clasping and unclasping his hands on the table in front of him. He was so nervous, it was like he'd forgotten how to sit still. He just felt . . . wrong. There was a pounding in his ears, and he felt like he was going to be sick. His heart was beating rapidly, and he was now regretting the decision to tell Morgana about his plan. He knew she'd only push him when he tried to back out. Deep down though, he knew that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

"I can't think of a reason why not." she replied absentmindedly. She was looking out at the room over Arthur's shoulder, her eyes scanning the room for something, or someone. It didn't take a genius to know she was looking for Merlin. Morgana wasn't exactly subtle at the best of times.

"In front of _everyone?" _Arthur asked again, becoming increasingly more nervous. He tapped his foot on the floor, and ran a hand through his hair. Had there _always _been this many people in the canteen? It seemed like the number had been tripled. Too many people. _Way _too many people. He couldn't do this. Not in front of _all _of them. It was too much.

"Arthur, it was _your_ idea." Morgana reminded him, raising one perfectly arched eyebrow.

"Well yeah, but . . . I didn't think it'd be this . . . public." he replied dumbly, looking down at the table.

He knew Morgana would have no problem with something like this. If she were in his shoes, she would've done this months ago. Arthur's sister wasn't exactly one to shy away from her feelings. When she wanted something, she made it known. And she'd be damned if she wasn't going to get it. Though Arthur wasn't sure sometimes whether that was the best way to be. His sister's abruptness sometimes scared away some guys, she "came on a little too strong" for them. That's why she should count herself lucky she had Leon. He was the complete opposite of Morgana, but somehow perfect for her at the same time.

"For God's sake Arthur, grow a pair would you?"

"Alright, alright . . ." he muttered, turning to look around the room again. Now that he took a second look, it didn't seem that bad. There weren't _that _many people in there.

In the back corner, by the door, two teachers stood, obviously keeping an eye on the proceedings, should any fights break out. Fights weren't really uncommon at Camelot High, though Arthur was quite ashamed to say he had been involved in, or helped cause most of them in the past. There were several tables scattered all over the canteen as well. He only recognized a handful of the people, which made it a little better. He could see Lance, Percival, Leon, Elyan, and Gwaine sat at a table in the middle of the room. For once, they were no longer surrounded by the other "knights", or the girls that were usually fawning over them. Arthur felt a small feeling of pride.

He could also see Elena, Freya, Kara, Isolde, Mithian and Sefa all sat at a table as well. He knew they wouldn't judge him for what he was about to do, and that thought gave him a little more courage. He knew that his friends wouldn't either. There wasn't much they wouldn't do for him. They'd already abandoned their entire friendship group for him, and a boy that they'd been told to hate since he joined the school. Arthur knew they would accept him no matter what, and that brought a small smile to his face. Until he realized.

It didn't matter. It wouldn't matter if there were ten people in there, or five, the word would get around to the rest of the school fast enough. And Arthur knew that none of them would be anywhere near as accepting. Not only that, but the two teachers in the room would most likely take the word to his father. And _then _things would get interesting.

But Arthur was quite surprised to find that he no longer cared.

When he thought about how important what he was about to do was, he couldn't think of a better way to do it. Letting everyone know at once was a lot easier than having to tell people individually. In fact, it was a lot more convenient. To have to keep repeating himself to everyone would just become boring. Although it would probably be better for people to hear it from him, it would save Arthur the trouble.

As he looked over at Morgana, hoping for some reassurance, he saw her eyes widen. Her mouth turned into a dazzling smile, and Arthur could tell she was just itching to start clapping her hands in glee. He didn't have to turn around to know what was going on, and who'd just walked in. He took a deep breath, before turning to look at the two people who'd just entered the room.

Walking over to another table, lunch in their hands, were Gwen and Merlin.

It was time.

* * *

"I just don't see why you have to ignore him now, that's all," Gwen replied, as Merlin slid into the seat across from her. Merlin had specifically asked her about an hour ago if she'd sit with him somewhere else at lunch, because he didn't want to have to speak to Arthur. He knew it was childish, and that nothing would ever be resolved between them this way, but Merlin just couldn't deal with him right now.

Of course, Gwen was reluctant to do so without an explanation, so Merlin had told her everything. He knew that she and Morgana weren't going to be happy. They'd spent so long trying to get the two of them together, they'd never even considered that when they got together, they'd mess it up in the way that they had. Morgana was already mad at him, because apparently there was something he wasn't getting. He hadn't talked to Gwen about it yet though, he was still thinking, trying to find out if there was anything he might've missed.

"Because . . . I just need time to think, okay? And I think he does as well. It might help to clear my head if I can spend a little time away from him. Every time we're together he just . . . I can't think straight," Merlin replied, and Gwen choked on her drink a little. Merlin couldn't help but crack a smile back at his unintentional pun. "You know what I mean. He . . . he clouds my judgement."

"Isn't that the way it's supposed to be though? If, when you're with him, all of the problems just go away, isn't that better?" she asked, leaning over the table so that no one would hear their conversation.

"I guess so, but problems have to resolved eventually, whether we like it or not. Surely it's better to get it out of the way now? Even if it means we can't be together at all, it's saving both of us a lot of pain in the long-run, right?" Merlin asked, looking at Gwen for some reassurance. Some confirmation that he was doing the right thing. But she just smiled pitifully.

"But then you'll just spend the rest of your life wondering about what _could've _happened if you'd just given him a chance. That's all he wants Merlin, is for you to give him a chance." Gwen replied, taking Merlin's hand across the table, and squeezing it comfortingly. "I know it's really none of my business, and that it's really between you and Arthur, but I really think you should just _try _and sort things out with him. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out, but then at least you'll know that you _tried."_

"Thanks Gwen," Merlin replied, squeezing her hand back. A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, "But I still don't think -"

But Gwen wasn't listening anymore. Instead, she was entirely focused on the other side of the room. Her hand slipped out of Merlin's, and she sat up a little straighter. She gave a little gasp, and her eyes grew wide in astonishment.

"What is he . . ." Gwen began, but her voice trailed off. Merlin looked at her, confused.

"Gwen? What are you -" he asked, but Gwen cut him off. She shook her head, and gestured behind Merlin.

"Look."

Merlin turned around to face the back corner of the room, just as everybody else in the canteen was now doing. They were all focused on one thing, on one person, and Merlin and Gwen even stood up to get a better view of what was going on. A crowd was forming in the corner of the room, all gathered around the one thing that had Merlin rooted to the spot. Gwen suggested they move closer, but Merlin felt like all the muscles in his body had seized up.

Stood, at the centre of the crowd, on his chair, was Arthur.

Morgana was stood at his side, looking gleeful, excited, and proud, all at the same time. Gwen moved to Merlin's side, taking his hand once more, comfortingly. But there was only one thing that Merlin could focus on, and that was Arthur. And as he began to speak, Merlin's heart began to beat wildly in his chest, like it was trying to burst its way out.

"As many of you know, I've made some terrible mistakes in my life," Arthur started, and Merlin couldn't help but notice he looked like he was going to be sick. Merlin didn't feel much different. "I've been a horrible person, and I've made all the wrong choices. I made friends with the wrong people, and completely mistreated the right ones. I thought that as long as I was popular, then I was loved, and if I surrounded myself with people, then I'd never be alone. But being popular, and being loved, are not the same thing. And being alone, is not the same as being lonely."

Arthur was getting slightly more confident now, looking out at the crowds of people. There was only one person that he absolutely _refused _to look in the eye. For he knew that if he did, he'd lose his nerve entirely, and he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

"I came to realize recently, how wrong I was, about everything. My friends weren't really my friends, and I wasn't loved, I was _feared, _which is a terrible thing to be. I can only apologize for the way that I treated you. _All _of you. Anything that I ever did to hurt you, or put you down, I am completely, and truly sorry. I left my old friends, and found some new ones. Ones that never fail to tell me when I'm being an idiot, or a prat.

However, I didn't come up here to apologize, at least, not to all of you. Because the only reason I did any of those things, was because I met someone. Someone who taught me _how _to be a good person. Someone who was never too afraid to tell me when I was wrong, something that not many other people would've done. They listened to me when I needed someone to listen, and yelled at me when I needed to be yelled at. And I think, somewhere along the way, I started to fall for this person.

But I screwed it all up. Because I was _scared, _because I wasn't _sure. _And I'm still scared, and I'm still not sure about what this will mean, for me, and for us. I messed everything up with this person, and I might never get a second chance with them. They might not even want to talk to me again after this. But despite all of this uncertainty, and fear, there's one thing that I'm completely and utterly sure of.

Merlin Emrys . . ."

Arthur paused for a moment, and turned to face Merlin. Merlin felt the breath catch in his throat, and his grip on Gwen's hand tightened. He could feel tears brimming in his eyes, and could see that Arthur was looking slightly shaky himself. It didn't help that everyone in the room had also turned to face Merlin, with confusion and pity mixed in their faces.

"I love you."

* * *

"I love you."

As soon as the words fell from Arthur's lips, he saw the whole room turn to him with a gasp of shocked confusion.

That was it. He'd done it. After years of wondering, and worrying about what people might say, and how he'd explain it to them, all it had taken was three simple words. And it felt . . . it felt _good. _It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, and he wondered why he hadn't done it years ago. He no longer cared what people thought now, because they _knew. _He'd finally, out loud, admitted that he was gay. Not in those exact words, but just as effectively.

He couldn't help but smile, as he continued to stand on the chair. He looked around the room, taking in everyone's reactions.

Most people still looked confused, as if they couldn't believe that _he, _Arthur Pendragon, was in love with Merlin Emrys. And to be honest, Arthur couldn't much believe it himself. Still, he wouldn't change anything. Getting to know Merlin better, and falling for him, had made him a better person, in every way. And no matter what happened between them, Arthur hoped that, at least, would remain the same. He never wanted to go back to the way he was before, not if he had any choice in the matter.

As he turned to look at his friends in the corner, he saw that all of them, especially Gwaine, were beaming with pride. And the expression on all of their faces completely mirrored the one that Morgana wore, stood beside him. Arthur smiled back at them, when something amazing happened.

Gwaine stood up, getting out of his chair, and began to clap. The clap echoed awkwardly around the canteen for a few moments, before everyone else joined in. And Arthur felt an overwhelming feeling of pride, and for the first time, he felt what it was like to be truly loved. He'd thought when he was popular, that that was what being loved felt like. Being surrounded by people who never left your side, and having everyone know your name. But he was wrong. Being loved, was when you knew that people were proud of you, and that they respected you for your bravery, maybe even admired you. And it was an amazing feeling.

There was only one problem.

Because there was one person, in the _whole _room, who wasn't clapping and cheering with everyone else, and that was the one person that Arthur's eyes were automatically drawn to. The one person that mattered, the _only _person that mattered.

Merlin.

He simply stood, dumbstruck, staring at Arthur. And Arthur stared back, confused. Surely this was the part where Merlin said that he loved him too? That he accepted his apology, and that they could work things out? And yet, he did nothing. He just stood, watching, looking like he was about to burst into floods of tears or be sick, or both.

Everything else just fell away, and Arthur could no longer hear the crowds of people. He couldn't hear anything. He was entirely focused on Merlin. He was about to break through the crowds and run towards him, but Merlin beat him to it. He elbowed his way through the people, and Arthur felt a small sense of relief. Until he realized Merlin wasn't rushing towards him.

He was making his way towards the door.

Arthur couldn't even bear to watch him leave. He stepped down from his chair, and sat back on it, burying his head in his hands. His heart sunk with a deep thud, whereas just minutes ago, it had been beating rapidly in his chest, with nerves and fear. He felt a familiar dull ache begin to settle in his chest, and he sighed.

How had he gotten it so wrong?

* * *

**Well? I know the ending was a little rushed, but I hope you liked it. I've wanted to write this chapter for a while, so let me know what you thought! REVIEW! :D**


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Hey guys!**

**I know it's been a while, but I was away at a convention this weekend, so I didn't really have much time to write. Anyway, I'm back now! A lot of you were quite confused about the last chapter, and I know it was quite a mean cliff-hanger. Hopefully, all will be explained in this chapter! At least, I hope so.**

**I know it's _really _short, but I promise you the next chapter will be longer. I hope the quality of the writing's still good though. I worked quite hard on this chapter, and I had the opening and closing lines in my head already, and I was set on using them, so . . . yeah. I hope you like it, anyway!**

**We're nearing the end now, only a few chapters left to go! :D**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris  
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* * *

_"I love you."_

The words were spinning around his head like it was a whirlpool, and it made him feel like tearing his hair out in frustration and confusion. Merlin knew what it must have looked like, storming out of there like that, leaving Arthur, and saying nothing. But at the time, he hadn't really been thinking about that. His first thought had been to run, so he'd followed his instincts. And now, here he was, pacing, at the end of the corridor he'd been sat in that very morning. His hands were in his hair, and he felt like just kicking out, or punching something.

How had things gotten so messed up?

A few weeks ago, if someone had told Merlin he'd have two perfect and amazing guys both chasing after his affections; he probably would've laughed in their face. And if you'd told him that one of them would be Arthur Pendragon, he may have died of shock. But, for some unknown reason, it was true. And now Merlin would have to choose between them. And he didn't think he'd be able to.

First of all, there was 'A'. Someone who he'd only known for a few weeks. Someone who he'd never even met. Someone who might not even be real. But on the off chance that they were, Merlin couldn't rule him out completely. 'A' had been there for him from the beginning, he'd _cared, _he'd _listened, _and he'd actually _wanted _to listen. He was funny, sarcastic, charming, and even a little arrogant. Not only that, but he was _smart. _And there weren't a whole lot of them going around at Camelot High at the moment. He was honest, and didn't try to impress Merlin by building himself up to be some kind of hero.

And although Merlin had never met him, he'd built up so much information he'd gathered, that in his mind, he couldn't _not _be real. He was in all of Merlin's classes, he lived with his father and step-sister, although his relationship with his father was _far _from perfect, he'd never known his mother, and he paid for Merlin's books. He was born into a lot of money, mostly from his father, though he wasn't vain about it. As far as Merlin knew, he was the first one that 'A' had told about his sexuality, and his problems with his friends. And he seemed to watch Merlin quite a lot.

And then there was Arthur . . .

Arthur was a different story altogether. He wasn't as easy for Merlin to understand as 'A' was. Sometimes, Merlin wondered whether it was just one big game. Maybe Arthur didn't know it, but it was. Arthur was the games master, and he was constantly changing the rules without warning. Merlin was struggling to keep up. Arthur challenged him, and made him think. And Merlin supposed that was one of the reasons he liked him so much. And why he might even love him -

_Love? Do I . . . do I love Arthur? _Merlin thought to himself. He stopped pacing, and his hands went back to his sides. He hadn't even so much as thought about love ever since what happened with Will . . . was he finally moving on? Was this what it felt like? Because it didn't feel any different. In fact, it almost felt worse. He'd never felt more conflicted and torn in his life, and he quite literally had no idea what to do. He loved Arthur, but he still had no idea how he felt about 'A' . . . was it even possible to fall in love with someone that you'd never met? Merlin didn't even know.

But he didn't want to hurt either of them, and he had to make a decision soon. The longer he dragged it out, would mean he was just hurting both of them even more. The only problem was that he _still _didn't know who 'A' was. And he was almost _certain _that if he knew, it'd make his decision about 90% easier. Choosing 'A' over Arthur would mean that he'd have to put all of his faith into something, that might turn out to be a lie in the end anyway. And Merlin didn't know if he was ready for that, or the pain it would cause him.

Merlin sighed, leaning back against the wall. Why did it have to be so _hard? _He'd waited so long for the perfect guy, and then two had come along at the same time. It was something that most people only dreamed of, but now Merlin wished things could just go back to the way they were before. Why did there have to be two of them? And why did they have to be so perfect? It wasn't fair. If only they could just be the same person or something, then it wouldn't -

And then it hit him.

Is in all of his classes.

Mother died when he was born.

Strained relationship with his father.

Close to his step-sister.

Born into a lot of money.

All of the pieces were now beginning to fit together in Merlin's mind, and he mentally slapped himself for not getting it sooner. All those times that 'A' had tried to convince him that Arthur liked him . . . the books . . . Morgana . . . all those subtle hints that Arthur had been dropping the last few weeks . . . and now Arthur was angry at him. Because Merlin had told him that he liked someone else. But Arthur wouldn't tell him that's what it was, because Merlin hadn't told _Arthur,_ he'd told _'A'._

_'A'._

'A' was Arthur.

"_That bastard."_

* * *

**Well? I'm sorry once again that it's so short, but let me know what you thought! REVIEW! :D**


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Hey guys!**

**That was probably one of the worst cliff-hangers I've ever left you on! Luckily, most of you dealt with it quite well, though I know you've been eagerly anticipating this chapter. I hope it's everything you were expecting, and everything you wanted! :P**

**I was planning to do a few more chapters between this one and the epilogue, but I just couldn't extend it anymore. So this is it now. The last "official" chapter. The epilogue will be next, as I cut out all the parts in between, and put it all in this chapter. It just didn't make sense to continue to drag it out. I will thank you all properly in the epilogue, but thank you for all of your wonderful reviews!**

**And about the other Merthur fic I was going to be writing. I'm not sure about it anymore. I may still write it sometime in the future, but I've got so many other ideas at the moment, I think I'd rather focus on them. Still, follow me if you want to read more of my writing, and I'll have some new stuff for you soon!**

**Enjoy!**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris  
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YouTube: MyNamesNotDorris**

* * *

Merlin had been planning for a while what he was going to say to Arthur. There was a lot of explaining to do, for both of them. But despite everything that was going on between the two of them, all of the lies, the confusion, the arguing, Merlin had never felt more determined. Now all of the pieces were slotting into place, and everything made sense again. He could worry about everything else later, the only thing that mattered now, was making things right with Arthur. He couldn't even be angry at him anymore.

Because now, he understood why he'd done it. A few weeks ago, if Arthur had walked up to Merlin, and tried to make polite conversation, he probably would have been met with either a punch in the face, or a string of obscenities. Merlin never would've even been civil with him, never mind become friends - and eventually more - with him. So Arthur had created 'A', as a way to get closer to him. As a way to find out more about him, without Merlin judging him the way he would've done normally. It wasn't entirely Merlin's fault though, and they both knew that. Arthur had given him more than enough reasons to hate him in the past.

So no, he wasn't angry at him anymore. The only person he _was _angry at, was himself. For not figuring it out sooner, and for putting Arthur through all of that. Of course, you could argue that it had put them both through some pretty bad things, but none more so than Arthur. He'd had to sit there, night after night, talking to Merlin about how much he hated Arthur "Prat-dragon". It must've been horrible, to hear himself described that way, by someone that he cared about. Though surely he knew now, that Merlin's opinion of him had changed completely?

He must do, otherwise, he was an even bigger idiot than Merlin had originally thought.

But as Merlin approached the school's courtyard area, and he spotted Arthur sat on a bench, all these thoughts that were swimming around his head, went out the window. And he was left with the sound of his heart breaking. Because Arthur - the strongest, funniest, happiest, kind, honest, and most brilliant person that Merlin had ever met - was crying. And it was all because of him.

Arthur was completely unaware of Merlin's approach, as his head was buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking slightly, and Merlin wanted to slap himself now more than ever. If only he'd figured it out sooner, then this never would've happened. Seeing Arthur sad, seeing someone that _perfect, _that _beautiful, _looking as weak and fragile as Arthur did now, felt like a crime against nature.

Merlin made his way over, slowly, and quietly. He knew this was a fragile situation, and he had to handle it carefully. Just like Arthur had done when he'd found Merlin in that alleyway. That had been the night he'd saved Merlin. The night he'd held him as he cried on that park bench. The night things changed between them. Merlin hoped he could do the same thing again.

"Arthur?" he whispered, watching as Arthur lifted his head slowly. A stray tear was still rolling down his cheek, and Arthur brushed it away hastily, when he realized who it was.

"Merlin, I -" Arthur began, but Merlin interrupted him. Arthur had done his big speech, now it was his turn.

"No, you don't need to say anything. I'm the one that needs to explain." Merlin began, and Arthur nodded, looking down at his hands. Merlin sat beside him, taking a shaky breath, as he took Arthur's hand in his. "I need to explain why I left earlier. Because I think I gave you, and everyone else in that room the wrong impression. The last few weeks, have been . . . an emotional roller-coaster. There was so much going on at times, that I just didn't think I could cope. But do you know what the one thing was, that always brought me back? It was you, Arthur.

After everything with Mordred, I felt like nothing, I felt useless, like a waste of space. And you made me feel better again. You made me feel better than I'd felt in a long time. And I know you blame yourself for what happened with him, but you shouldn't. It's not your fault, you didn't know. So don't blame yourself. Because you made everything better. And things were pretty bad before you came along. Not that I'd let it show. I didn't want people to worry.

You made me feel better than I think I've _ever _felt. You made me feel special, and safe. And I know I'm rambling, but this is what happens when I get nervous, so just . . . hear me out, okay?" Merlin continued, using one of his hands to force Arthur's chin up, so their eyes could meet. Arthur looked confused, and hopeful, but still a little sad. All Merlin wanted now, was to get rid of that sadness. "The way I feel about you, when I'm with you . . . I've never felt that way before. With anyone.

You're different, Arthur. And you make me different, when I'm around you. You've been a terrible person in the past, but that's over now. I've forgiven you, and you need to accept that. Because everything that happened, is in the past, and I don't want to think about that anymore. I want to think about who you are now, and how I feel about you now. You're the most infuriating, annoying, controlling, loud, obnoxious, weird, possibly mentally-challenged prat I've ever met in my life, but you know what? I'm in love with you. There, I said it. I _love _you."

For a moment, there was silence. Even the birds seemed to stop singing, and they just sat there, staring at each other. Merlin's hand was still closed around Arthur's and Arthur was starting at him so intensely, Merlin almost didn't know where to look. He didn't think he'd ever told _anybody _that he loved them before. But somehow, it just made sense. It was like he'd always loved Arthur, before he'd even met him. It just . . . fit.

And before Merlin had the time to think about anything else, Arthur's lips were on his.

* * *

"W-Wait, I . . . I can't do this." Arthur mumbled, pushing Merlin back onto the bench. The tears were now gone from his eyes, but he still looked just as sad and confused. He stood up from the bench, and began pacing, running his fingers through his hair. Merlin couldn't count the number of times he'd seen Arthur do that today. It must be a nervous thing. Though Merlin would be lying if he said he didn't find it kind of attractive. "There's something I still haven't told you, and there are things that . . . things that still need to be resolved . . ."

"Arthur," Merlin interrupted, leaping up from the bench. He stepped in front of Arthur, but the blonde continued to pace. So Merlin took on a different approach. He grabbed Arthur by the shoulders, forcing him to stop. This was it. The big moment. The thing he'd been waiting for, for weeks on end. It was finally here, and Merlin could not feel happier. "Arthur! I know."

Of all the people that 'A' could've been, Arthur had never even crossed his mind. He'd assumed it would be someone obvious, someone that nobody else noticed, but Merlin did. Merlin had always been a bit of a wallflower, so he tended to notice things that other people didn't. The people that never really spoke up, the people that blended into the background, a bit like him. He noticed things, except, it would seem, the obvious. Because Arthur had been staring him in the face from the beginning, practically screaming for him to notice. And he felt like the biggest idiot on Earth for not figuring it out earlier.

"You kn - you can't know . . ." Arthur whispered, looking confused again. It seemed there really was a lot of explaining to do. "How can you know?"

"Arthur, I figured it out." Merlin replied, releasing Arthur, and stepping back, smiling. But Arthur still looked stunned, as if the possibility of Merlin figuring it out was something that had never occurred to him before. Something that had seemed virtually impossible. Merlin wondered if Arthur would've ever told him himself. Perhaps when the time came, he would've.

"You know . . . and you're not mad?" he asked, still looking unsure. It was as if he thought they were talking about two different things. But Merlin just nodded, smiling at him. Everything was coming together, and although it wasn't exactly the way he'd imagined meeting 'A' a few weeks ago, this was perfect, in its own imperfect way. And upon watching Merlin smile at him, Arthur finally relaxed. He squared his shoulders, and sniffed, looking off to the corner.

_"Sure took you long enough."_

Merlin laughed, and the tension between them was broken. His laughter became louder and louder, and he became slightly hysterical. The absurdity of the whole situation, and the perfect timing of Arthur's comment, brought tears of laughter to his eyes. And Arthur couldn't help but laugh in return. Their laughter echoed throughout the school, and both of them were glad that the whole horrible ordeal was over. Except, there was still one small issue that had to be resolved.

"What about when you said you liked someone else?" Arthur asked, suddenly becoming serious again. Merlin's laughter stopped immediately, and he straightened up. He cocked his head to the side, and Arthur could tell he hadn't a clue what he was talking about. He doubted he'd even remember it. "When I told you, as 'A' that I liked you, you said that it couldn't work, and that you liked someone else. Who was it?"

"Oh for God's - are you really _that _thick, Pratdragon?" Merlin laughed, "Is _that _why you wouldn't talk to me? Because you thought I liked someone else? That was what it was? The _whole _time?" Merlin couldn't stop laughing, though when he saw that Arthur was deadly serious, he shook himself a little. "I'm sorry but, Arthur, surely you must've . . . it was you, you clot-pole! _I _didn't know that you were the same person, and it was the night after you kissed me, and I couldn't stop thinking about you. You thought there was someone else, really? Of course not. After everything we've been though, and everything you've said to the lies, and confusion, and rumours . . .

_God help me Arthur, it's still all about you."_

* * *

**Well? What did you think? We're almost at the end now guys, so please, don't forget to REVIEW! :D**


	21. Epilogue

**Hey guys!**

**Well, here we are, at the end! I can't believe it's over already. I've been writing this fic for about five months now, but it feels as though it's gone so quickly. Anyway, the support and love I've received from all of you has been amazing, and I really wasn't expecting it. You've all been amazing and incredibly patient!**

**I wish I could thank you all individually, but sadly, it would take far too long. But I'd just like to thank all of you, whether you've stuck with this fic from the beginning or not.**

**So, here's your epilogue which, I hope, will tie everything together nicely for you guys.**

**Megz**

**oxox**

**Twitter: NamesNotDorris  
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* * *

_Epilogue:_

_A few weeks later . . ._

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"Come in!" Uther yelled, setting his glasses down on his desk. He'd had a long day, and a lot of paperwork to go over, so he was glad of the distraction. Putting a rather large pile of paperwork down on the far side of his desk, he looked up, as the door opened to reveal Morgana. "Ah, Morgana! Please, come in. Take a seat. Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all!" Morgana replied, smiling widely. She all dressed up in the outfit she'd bought weeks ago with Merlin and Gwen, but her hair was tied in a tight bun, as she wasn't quite finished getting ready. She'd been running around the house all night, frantically looking for her makeup. Though she had a sneaky suspicion that somebody (Arthur) had hidden it, in an attempt to be funny. He better return it when he found out what she did for him. "I just . . . I wanted to ask you something about the party tonight."

"What of it?" Uther asked, looking rather confused.

"Just . . . . I want you to promise me something," she began, as Uther began to look even more confused. A few weeks ago, neither her, nor Arthur, wouldn't dared have gone to their father about a problem such as this. But the whole situation with Mordred had changed Uther somewhat. He still wasn't exactly perfect, but he was improving. Both of them could see that he was finally becoming the father that they'd so needed whilst they were growing up. "Don't try to set Arthur up with anyone."

After Arthur had gone to his father about the situation with Merlin and Mordred, Uther had done everything in his power to try and sort it out. Although it may not have looked like it, he really did try. Although he didn't make it known. He didn't want Arthur to get his hopes up. If there was nothing he could do about it, then he didn't want to give his son false hope. Eventually though, some evidence arose for other crimes that Mordred had committed, which was more than enough to get him expelled from the school, and, eventually, arrested.

Arthur was extremely grateful for this, although he tried not to show it. He'd been the one to break the news to Merlin, and it had resulted in many tears from the raven haired boy. All through that night, Merlin had cried, and Arthur still didn't know whether that was from sadness, guilt, happiness or relief. He daren't ask, and he didn't think he wanted to. That was something personal to Merlin. He was just glad he'd been there to hold him.

Whenever Uther mentioned it after that, Arthur shrugged it off. He said it was what anyone else would've done in his situation, and that he was just glad it was over for "the poor boy". He thought it was best to keep their relationship a secret from Uther, at least until they were sure he could handle it. Still, he seemed to be doing pretty well at the moment, and Arthur felt that, given a few more weeks, Uther would be ready. But not tonight. So he'd sent Morgana on a mission to make sure that his father wasn't trying to set him up with someone like he usually did at his "gatherings".

"I would never -" Uther replied, seeming appalled at the accusation. But Morgana stopped him with a single look, raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

"I know you Uther Pendragon, and while I also know you mean well, I don't think Arthur's looking for a relationship at the moment." she explained, but saw that Uther still wasn't quite getting it. Either that, or he was feigning mock innocence. She could never quite decide when he was being sarcastic or not. So she pushed that _little _bit further. Arthur was probably never going to forgive her for mentioning this, but it seemed like it was the only way she was going to get through to him. "Uther, he's met someone."

"Met someone?" Uther asked, leaning across his desk, and Morgana almost had to laugh. He had the same look as the teenage girls at her high school, when they heard some new gossip. Like a hungry hyena that had just discovered some fresh meat. "Who?"

"I . . . I can't tell you. They got to know each other online, and well, things . . . . progressed." Morgana whispered, for fear that Arthur would somehow hear them from the other side of the house. Then again, let him hear, the bastard. That'll teach him for hiding her makeup. "Look, just, don't tell Arthur I told you, okay? He said he's waiting for the right moment to tell you, but he just doesn't want you . . . meddling."

"Okay, okay, no . . . meddling," Uther smiled, which was something Morgana hadn't seen in a long time. And it was . . . nice, though a little out of character. She smiled back, as if it were their little secret. "I'll consider myself told."

* * *

"Arthur, are you sure about this?" Merlin muttered, as he and Arthur walked into Uther's party. The music was blasting so loud, that Arthur barely even heard him, and the lights were dimmed. There were crowds of people all over the room, merging on the dance floor, and talking in small huddles. If there was one place Merlin felt he didn't belong, it was here. He didn't do big parties, he'd much rather stay at home, and curl up with a book instead. That's just the type of person he was.

"I'm sure, Merlin," Arthur replied, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it affectionately. Merlin was shocked. Uther was just across the room, he could catch them at any moment, and yet . . . Arthur didn't seem to care. Well, if Arthur didn't care, then Merlin couldn't think of any reason that he should. He gave Arthur's hand a squeeze in reply.

"But I look ridiculous," he whined, and Arthur sighed, letting go of his hand. He turned so that he was in front of Merlin, and gripped him by the shoulders, leaning in. He was so close, that Merlin could feel his breath on his cheek. He looked right into his eyes, and Arthur's warm, cerulean eyes met with Merlin's icey, powder blue ones.

"You look amazing, okay? Don't worry, everything's going to be fine," Arthur whispered, placing a quick kiss on Merlin's lips. This calmed him slightly, though Merlin still felt incredibly nervous. In fact, he was pretty sure he was shaking, which was embarrassing.

This was the first time he'd been around Arthur's family, well, members of his family that weren't Morgana or Uther. Merlin just wanted to make a good impression. After all, he wasn't really the type of person that Arthur went for. Heck, he wasn't even the _gender _that Arthur normally went for. Merlin wasn't bothered by that though, he would never hide his sexuality, not anymore. He was just worried for Arthur's sake, as he knew he wasn't out to his family yet.

And although he'd like to think that's all it was, he'd be lying.

Because next to Arthur, next to his family, what was Merlin, really? Arthur was rich, strong, beautiful, funny, handsome, and charming. Merlin was poor, weak, quite funny looking, and a bumbling idiot. He was nothing like Arthur, or anyone in his family, and he felt terribly out of place. Compared to them, he was ordinary. Not even that, he was less than ordinary, if that were even possible. And he felt it now more than ever. He felt ridiculous, all dressed up in a suit, pretending to be one of them. Because he wasn't, and he never would be. Arthur must know that, deep down.

"Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur asked, obviously sensing Merlin's discomfort. He took him away from the door, and into the far corner of the room, where no one could hear them. He sat Merlin down, and sat beside him, placing his hand over both of his. "Merlin, look at me. What is it?"

"I . . . It's nothing,"

"It's _not _nothing. Something's wrong, and I want to know what it is." Arthur replied sternly. He hated it when Merlin was so dismissive, as if his feelings didn't even matter, as if his problems were any smaller than anybody else's. He hoped that, one day, he could show Merlin how much he really meant to him, and maybe then, he wouldn't be so dismissive of himself.

"Were you born this big a pain in the arse?" Merlin replied jokingly, but his smile was half-hearted, a distraction. Arthur raised an eyebrow, and was clearly not amused. Though a small, affectionate smile played on his lips. Merlin sighed. "I just . . . what must I look like to them? Compared to you? You're so . . . perfect, and I'm just . . . ordinary. I've got hardly any money, I work in a pharmacy on the weekends to earn what little money I _do _have, my ears are too big for the rest of my face, I'm gangly, I stutter, and I make a right idiot of myself whenever I get nervous. Arthur, I don't belong here."

"Merlin," Arthur sighed, pulling the rather skinny boy in for a hug. He rested his head on Merlin's shoulder, and whispered into his soft, dark hair; "It doesn't matter to me what any of them think. It doesn't matter to me what _anyone _thinks. You're perfect, okay? All of those things you just mentioned, they're what makes you _you. _And I don't think you'd be the same without them. I wouldn't have you any other way. So what if you're different to them? They honestly wouldn't care Merlin. I'm sure if you took the time to get to know them, and vice versa, you'd get along quite well.

Yes Merlin, you are a bumbling, stuttering idiot, with no common sense, the memory of a goldfish, and all the social abilities of a blind badger. But what you don't seem to understand, is that I didn't fall in love with you _in spite _of these things. I fell in love with you _because _of them. I love you, okay? You're perfect, don't worry."

"I love you too," Merlin replied, pulling back from the hug, and placing a kiss on Arthur's lips.

This kiss was slightly longer, and Merlin's soft, pillowy lips met Arthur's dry ones. It was all Merlin needed to calm him down fully, and he smiled into the kiss, trying to thank Arthur for his kind words. And with Arthur's arms wrapped around his waist, the rest of the world fell away, and it was just the two of them. Nobody was judging either of them, and neither were afraid of being judged. They were just simply two people who loved each other. And there was nothing wrong with that.

Unfortunately, and to Merlin's disappointment, the kiss was cut short, as Arthur stood up. He beamed down at Merlin, and held out his hand to him.

"Now come on, I want to introduce you to someone."

* * *

"Father, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Arthur said, walking straight up to his father, Merlin in tow. When they reached Uther, Merlin dropped Arthur's hand, but the blonde boy put his arm protectively around Merlin's waist. Whether his father could see this gesture or not, Arthur found that he didn't much care. Although he wasn't _quite _ready to come out to his father yet, if he figured it out himself, it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Uther turned from the person he had previously been talking to, and beamed down at his son.

Merlin had to admit, Uther looked like a completely different man when he smiled. He was used to seeing the cold, unfeeling headmaster at his school, locked away in his office, and never coming out. Sat stiff and straight in his suit and tie. This Uther before him however, was an entirely different person all together. When he smiled, Merlin saw the creases of laughter lines around his eyes, which made him wonder if he'd ever seen Uther laugh before. He didn't think he had. He wondered if Arthur ever had either . . .

"This is my friend, Merlin." Arthur said, pushing Merlin forward slightly, as if he were presenting cattle. Still, Merlin smiled at the older man, who extended his hand. "You've met before obviously, but Merlin and I were never that close before. However, we got to know each other better over the internet, and . . ."

Uther didn't really hear the rest of what Arthur was saying. _Got to know each other better over the internet . . . He's met someone . . . They got to know each other online . . . _Suddenly; everything sort of came together in Uther's mind. The hand that his son had on Merlin's waist, the concern that had been in Arthur's voice, whenever they discussed what was going on with Mordred and the boy . . . . To be honest, Uther was surprised that it hadn't occurred to him earlier. It made sense, after all.

Arthur hadn't brought a girl home for months, perhaps almost a year, and now Uther knew why. It had been this . . . Merlin all along. All these months, Arthur had seemed so distant, so angry . . . because he was _confused. _Confused, about how he felt for this boy. And though it broke Uther's heart to think that his son had never tried to come to _him _about it, he understood why he had done so. For most of Arthur's life, he'd never been the father that he should have been. He'd never been there for Arthur, and had just been constantly pushing him towards things that he'd never wanted.

He only hoped that now, he could be the father that Arthur wanted. Hell, the father that he _needed. _And if he could become that person, maybe one day, Arthur wouldn't be introducing Merlin to him as just his "friend".

"Nice to meet you, Merlin."

**- THE END -**


End file.
